Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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You are here: Home / Archives for life

Streaks, Bugs & Going Gray

January 30, 2015 at 8:52 am by Claudia

1-30 snow

More snow on the ground this morning; it fell overnight. It’s still snowing. Maybe 2 – 3 inches? Alas, poor Don is going to have to shovel it as this crappy sinus/cold thing is hanging on for dear life. I thought I was getting better two days ago, but yesterday and today, this little bug has all but laughed in my face.

When I get a cold or sinus bug, it’s not pretty because I already suffer from allergies and sinus problems on a daily basis. On any given day there’s already a lot going on there, so when I come down with something, oh boy, it’s seemingly magnified by ten.

That’s where I am now. Feeling Crappy. (Sung to the tune of ‘Feelin’ Groovy.)

1-30 TBR

That’s my To Be Read pile of books. Some are to be reviewed, some are just for me. I need to read, in fact, have  to read as I have a review coming up on Monday. But when you feel under the weather, it’s sometimes hard to concentrate, you know?

To top it all off, as we were sitting here on Wednesday evening, I started to see streaks, like a long line, flashing across my right eye. It wasn’t all the time, but they were there and they seemed ‘large.’ I sometimes have ocular migraines and thought it could be one of those, but ocular migraines go away pretty quickly and this didn’t. I started to worry that something dire was happening, so when I woke up yesterday morning and they were still there, Don called our health insurance provider and got a number for an ophthalmologist. I found myself sitting in the chair getting all sorts of tests, and all sorts of eye drops, including dilation. When Don saw my eyes, he said that I looked like Scout does when she goes on one of her nighttime obsessive, dementia-induced tears through the house. Turns out it’s a floater. I have lots of floaters, but none of them ever looked like this one, which is why I got frightened.

I’m relieved. But he wants me to come back in a month for some glaucoma testing. He’s suspicious about my left eye. Crap. (I’m using that word a lot in this post, aren’t I?)

Hear me now: I refuse to be suffering from glaucoma.

What a day. Just at the start of a new year of health insurance that carries a hefty deductible and I go through lots of medical tests. Goody.

I’m exhausted.

1-30 Miss scout

Someone was very glad to see us when we got home. She even jumped up, which isn’t so easy nowadays. See what I mean about well-worn floors? Dogs nails will do that to a wide plank pine floor.

Back to the ophthalmologist’s office. As I was sitting in a little waiting room, with drops in my eyes, the woman next to me told me that I had very pretty hair. I was flattered, of course, and thanked her, which got us talking about going gray, which she was in the process of doing. She had lovely long hair, past her shoulders, which she had been coloring for years. She had just started letting it grow gray and I could tell that it was going to be lovely and I told her so.

Then another woman came in and sat down in the waiting area who also had long silvery gray hair. All three of us had gray hair of the long, past-the-shoulders variety. We felt like we had just started a club! And, I must say, we seemed pretty gosh-darned hip, as well. (I hope that I don’t have to add that coloring your hair is neat, as well. It seems like every time I write about deciding to go gray, someone takes offense, as if I’m slamming the idea of coloring one’s hair. I’m not. But since I let my hair go gray, guess what? I’m probably going to write about it occasionally. But only occasionally.)

New post up on Just Let Me Finish This Page.

Happy Friday.

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Filed Under: life 65 Comments

Winter-Me

January 24, 2015 at 8:46 am by Claudia

Pantel - Sunset

The last few days have brought a realization. The pieces of a puzzle have come together for me at this point in time.

Winter, after a lifetime of winters, is different for me now. I was raised in the Midwest, have lived in Boston and Philadelphia and New York State – all places that see their share of tough winters. I’ve only spent eight years of my life in a place that was sunny and warm in the winter. The conclusion being: I’m used to winter. I come from tough stock. I’ve braved all sorts of wintery experiences. I can handle it.

But I can’t. Starting with last year, which was admittedly an extreme year for winter in my neck of the woods, I have crossed a sort of divide. Winter brings a kind of depression to me. I feel down. I feel distant. I have to force myself to do something other than those routine daily chores that are done without thinking.

Almost as soon as January entered the picture, with all the holiday celebrations come and gone, I felt a change coming over me. I became a bit detached, for want of a better word. I couldn’t understand it at first, but as I put those puzzle pieces together, a pattern emerged. A bit of lethargy, more than a little testiness on my part, no feeling of get-up-and-go. Nothing seemed to hold my interest for very long.

I think, after years and years of winters, winters that had no effect on me other than the usual hassles of shoveling and inconvenience (cold temperatures have never really bothered me), I’ve entered a new phase. I get depressed in the winter.

This is not to be confused with clinical depression, which is an entirely different thing.

So maybe I’ll call it the Doldrums.

This is seasonal. It’s a mix of Seasonal Affective Disorder, feeling shut in, unable to work in the garden, endless gray skies and extreme weather, along with a lack of work that often comes in the winter. There’s probably more to it than that, but that’s a good start.

It’s such a strange change for me. Almost like I’m dealing with someone other than myself. Did reaching the 60 year mark also mark a mood change? I mentioned it to my dad yesterday and he immediately said, “It’s because you’re older.” He said it very firmly, with no hesitation. He’s been there, he said.

I know all about full spectrum lights and SAD. I need to get more exercise, force myself to take walks on a gray, wintry day, and my sister suggested some Vitamin D. I’m pretty sure I know what to do to combat this feeling. Nevertheless, it’s a wee bit bewildering and baffling. It’s a new Winter-Me. I can’t say I’m entirely comfortable with it and I suppose that goes with the territory.

Yesterday, I was determined to be cheery and I pulled it off, for the most part. Today, we’re being inundated with snow as a result of a Nor’easter. Another challenge. Being in the country is lovely most of the time, but in the winter it can be tough. Cities also bring challenges, but you’re out and about along with lots of other people, so there is less of a feeling of isolation. Isolation that I normally love and embrace.

Blogging helps because it forces me to write something every day. It helps me to see the beauty of daily life – even in the winter.

Ah well. Do any of you suffer from this winter malady? Do you find yourself with a case of the blues during these days of less daylight and more weather challenges?

Do you get a case of the Doldrums?

(You may occasionally see an ad on one of the photos in a post. I’m experimenting with avenues for more ad income, which has been very low as of late. Just giving you a heads up.)

Happy Saturday.

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Filed Under: life, winter 82 Comments

Amazing. I Mean, A-Muse-ing

January 14, 2015 at 9:20 am by Claudia

I was walking by my little craft/studio space upstairs, on my way to the bedroom, when I stopped short.

A double take.

Something had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, on Lamb Chop’s left.

Was I seeing things?

I rubbed my eyes.

lamb chop 3

Same eyelashes, same nose, same mouth, same touches of red, same soft white coat ….

You take a look and see if I’m wrong.

lamb chop 2

Oh my goodness. Younger, yes. Smaller, yes. But otherwise, the same!

lamb chop 1

Lamb Chop had a baby!

This is big news here at the cottage. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t supervise Lamb Chop. Indeed, she is my muse, so she sort of does her own thing. It’s not my place to tell her how to live her life.

And I’m all for little babies. What could be more endearing?

Again. I don’t dare say congratulations to Lamb Chop. Or comment to her in any way. It wouldn’t be appropriate. But I can write about it here….surely she wouldn’t mind that?

I mean….shouldn’t we have some sort of birth announcement here at Mockingbird Hill Cottage?

Sssh….Congratulations, Lamb Chop! Welcome, Baby Lamb Chop!

That’s all.

Happy Wednesday.

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Filed Under: life 56 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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Scout & Riley. Riley left us in 2012. Scout left us in February 2016. Dearest babies. Dearest friends.

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