I get overwhelmed sometimes.

I get overwhelmed by the amount of things to be done around here. This is intensified by the fact that I am only home for 48 hours.

I get overwhelmed by the feelings that come when facing the sad, yet inevitable fact that my parents are fading quickly.

I get overwhelmed by all the things we need (and none of them are frivolous) and the fact that we, like so many others, are struggling financially.

I get overwhelmed by lack of sleep. Oh, for a good night’s sleep. And a better mattress. See above.

I get overwhelmed by the sadness and pain and loss so many are suffering. And by a climate in our country which seems to be void of compassion.

I get overwhelmed by blogging. Posting every day can be challenging. Is my content interesting enough? My stats (which I try not to pay too much attention to) are down. Commenting is down. But, in all honesty, I have been sadly lacking in commenting skills of late. You reap what you sow.

I get overwhelmed by competition in the blogging world and the pressure to post fresh content. Who has the neatest project? Who has the most followers? Who has been published? How many times have they been published? Who takes the prettiest pictures? When that happens, I need to pull away for a while.

I get overwhelmed by photos that are staged and pretty vignettes at every turn. They look beautiful, absolutely, and I have staged my fair share of photos. But I look around my house, which I love, and think: I simply cannot stage another vignette, nor do I have the space for one. My current vignettes: clutter on the kitchen table, two dogs on the carpet in the den, stuff everywhere that I don’t have time to deal with before I leave for Hartford this morning. I know everyone loves pretty pictures but I’m craving ‘real’ these days. I’m rather tired of everything else.

I get overwhelmed by the need to balance being with my family and working in a profession where work, when it finally comes, often takes me away from them.

I get overwhelmed by fear. On a big and small level. Let’s face it. Fear is fear and when it takes over, it’s hard to get it under control. But controlled it must be, because any decision based on fear is a bad one.

I get overwhelmed. But I know that my reactions to everything I’ve just mentioned are totally up to me. This is how I feel now. But a change in perspective, in attitude, can turn it all around. And there is so much I am thankful for.

Just felt the need to share what I’ve been feeling lately. I strive for honesty in life and in this blog.

Thanks for listening. I’m off to Hartford.

Do you have a mirror problem? I do.

Let me explain.The mirror in our bathroom at home is a very nice mirror. I put my makeup on using that mirror. I gauge how I look on any given day, at any given hour, with that mirror. Before leaving the house, I will give a last look at my fully made up self in that mirror. Often, I will be thinking, “Not so bad, Claudia. You’re pulling it off!”

Then I will go out in public, catch a glimpse of myself in a window or see myself in another mirror, somewhere, and I will look nothing like I looked in my bathroom mirror. I look older, paler, and where the heck is my make-up?

I’d chalk it up to our mirror but the same thing is happening here. I blow dry my hair, do my make-up,  put on my lipstick and leave the hotel. I get to the rehearsal space and catch a glimpse of myself in a random mirror somewhere in the building and I go into shock.

Is it a cruel joke? Is every bathroom mirror a sort of funhouse mirror, but a funhouse mirror that makes you look your best? Perhaps they are engineered that way in order to give us the guts to even entertain the idea of leaving the house?

If only I could always be seen by others as I see myself in that mirror. A slightly softer focus, a golden light….almost like those shots of Doris Day in her later movies and on her television series, where there was clearly a filter of some kind on the camera.

Does this sort of thing happen to you, my friends? Do your mirrors act as true reflections or do they play little tricks on you?

Tell me I’m not the only one.