Mockingbird Hill Cottage

Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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What Are You Reading?

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The brown-eyed susans are hanging in there, as is the phlox. The phlox that was chomped on repeatedly by the deer – down at the bottom of the big garden bed –  has finally bloomed. Take that, deer! That David phlox doesn’t give up!

Another hot day today. Tomorrow will be cooler, thank goodness. We have to go grocery shopping this morning as we’re out of nearly everything. Usually Don does that because he likes shopping, but when we will have a big haul, I usually join him. Today is one of those ‘big haul’ days. After we get back home, I have to water everything outside because of the high temps.

I returned some books to the library yesterday. I’m currently going back and forth between two authors, John Sandford, who I’ve mentioned before, and Gregg Hurwitz, who has written a series I really like. The thing about books is that no matter how old you are and how much you’ve read in your lifetime, you can always discover a new-to-you author. And it’s even better when that author has written a series or two! Oh, goodness, I love that!

And of course, we have the newest Louise Penny, which will be published on October 29th. Since we’re almost in September, that’s not all that far away. I haven’t been buying any books, but I will make an exception for Louise (I can call her that because I’ve met her, right?) I suppose Michael Connelly will have a new book coming out in November because that’s been his pattern. I’ll have to check into that. And I’m on the reserve list for Richard Power’s newest, Playground, which comes out in September, I may end up buying it after reading it because he a special author to me; he writes books that are profound and beautiful. We’ll see.

Maybe you’ve already sensed this, but it’s time for our favorite question: What are you reading?

Please share!

Stay safe.

Happy Wednesday.

Books and a Few Thoughts

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A portion of the living room on this gray morning. It might rain within the next hour, but it will be brief.

It’s been a lovely and quiet morning with coffee and a good book. As I’ve said before, I am reading The Mirror and the Light, but it’s not the kind of book that I will drop everything to read. Historical fiction is usually not my thing, but these beautifully written books by Hilary Mantel are the exception. Anyway, when reading Mantel, I need another book to read that I find gripping – usually a mystery or thriller. I didn’t have one on hand, so I finally googled ‘writers like Daniel Silva’ to see what came up. I got a few good suggestions, so I searched the library system’s website to see if any of them were on the shelves at my tiny local library. Hurrah, they were! So I drove on over and checked out 4 books. I’ve started one, Orphan X   by Gregg Hurwitz, and I’m really enjoying it.

Thanks for all the great comments yesterday. It’s comforting to know there are other adult children of alcoholics out there who have control issues. The bottom line for me: I need to feel safe. Having control does that for me. And it’s perfectly okay. I offer no apologies for something that helped me get through my childhood and still helps me to this day. I mentioned that Don is also an adult child of an alcoholic. He’s not only that, he’s been sober for 46 years. I rarely speak about this because it’s his story. He works his program every day, goes to meetings every day, and sponsors fellow alcoholics. I admire him more than I can say. And because he’s sober, ‘we’ can be. If he wasn’t, our relationship wouldn’t have started. I would have stopped it from ever happening. I’m grateful for his wisdom and guidance every day of my life and he helped me come to terms with my dad’s struggle. He is the answer to a prayer.

Anyway.

A bit more cleaning to do today and some reading, of course, and almost certainly, some shared laughter with my husband.

Stay safe.

Happy Saturday.

Thoughts

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The yucky weather continues. Both Don and I feel groggy and take 1 or even 2 naps during the day. Today, we’ll get more thunderstorms in the afternoon and there’s yet another excessive heat advisory. It feels as if I’ve spent most of my summer indoors, which, believe me, is not the way I like it.

We stand inside the house and watch bunnies chasing each other and the groundhog dining on our grass. And there’s a steady stream of birds at the birdbath. I plan ahead as to when to water outside; if it rained the day before, I’ll do it later in the day. If it hasn’t, I’m loading that huge watering can with water at an early hour, then dousing everything that gets a lot of sun and all the pots on the porch.

I’m really tired of this weather trend.

I finished The Year of Magical Thinking  yesterday morning. I found it so moving and brave and beautifully written. Reading it for the first time at this time in my life is hard. It pushed buttons, things I don’t want to linger on, but fear deeply. I think about death a lot. I think about the now very real possibility of losing Don. Or, Don’s real possibility of losing me. Both of us have said many times that we wouldn’t want to go on without the other. I can’t imagine a life without my husband. I know some of you have lost your partner and/or spouse and have already had to face this. I watched my dad cope with the loss of my mother. He tried very hard to stay active and hopeful but it was devastating for him and he died eighteen months later.

There are no answers. It’s just something that preys on my mind. Life and death.

This is a passage I read out loud to Don the other night when we were reading in bed:

Marriage is memory, marriage is time. “She didn’t know the songs” I recall being told a friend of a friend had said after an attempt to repeat the experience. Marriage is not only time: it is also, paradoxically, the denial of time. For forty years I saw myself through John’s eyes. I did not age. This year for the first time since I was twenty-nine, I saw myself through the eyes of others. This year for the first time since I was twenty-nine I realized that my image of myself was of someone significantly younger. – Joan Didion

Boy, did that hit me. For me, it would be since the age of forty-one.

I’m still pondering passages in that book. I’m still and always worrying about loss and the end of life.

It may not be your cup of tea, but my goodness, what a powerful account of love and marriage and loss and identity and survival.

I’m back to Bring Up the Bodies, the second book in Hilary Mantel’s Wolf Hall series. I put it aside when I played catch up with the Daniel Silva spy thrillers. I’m awaiting James Lee Burke’s newest, Clete, from my local library system. It’s been out almost two months and I was #3 in the queue when it finally arrived at our local libraries and I’ve just now reached #1. And that doesn’t mean it’s coming to me this week, so I’m reading what I have and what I’m in the mood for on these hazy, hot and humid days.

Stay safe.

Happy Wednesday.

Lambs Like to Party

Lambs Like to Party

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