Scout — Page 19

Between

January 25, 2016 at 9:16 am by Claudia

1-25 scoutie

I arrived back home around 1:00 to find this girl waiting for me. She was sleeping. Frankly, she was having a bad day, poor girl. I spent a lot of time lying beside her on the floor telling her how much I love her. She’s not doing very well at the moment. And I imagine the very cold weather is very hard on her. I’m just grateful there hasn’t been a lot of snow and ice this winter.

We know that we don’t have that much longer with our girl, so we’re treasuring the time we do have.

It’s lovely being home, but it’s strange. As always in this situation, I feel like I’m between two worlds, my life here at home and my life on the road. Not quite here, because I’m only here for about 24 hours, and not quite in Hartford, because it isn’t my permanent home. But since I’m working in Hartford and I have a lot more work to do there, Hartford has the pull at the moment. Don tells me to just enjoy it and he’s right. It’s a gift to be able to just concentrate on doing my work, without the distractions that are always present at home. And by the time my work in Hartford is winding down, I’ll be ready to come home and stay home for a long while.

But Scout is worrying us. And that pull, that worry, weighs on me when I’m in Hartford, as it weighs on Don at home. She was in the den with me yesterday afternoon and she kept raising her head to look at me as if she wanted to make sure I was still here.

And I’m leaving again.

It’s a good time for us but it’s also a very tough time. Add to that my ongoing grief for my father, the moments when I am taken aback by the tears that appear suddenly in my eyes and that I try to hide from everyone when some part of the text in Romeo and Juliet speaks of death, or when I’m driving home, as I was yesterday, and I remember moments in the last hours of my dad’s life, how everything changed so suddenly, when I’m reminded of the look in his eyes as he knew he was dying – in those moments I gasp at how quickly I am overcome with sorrow.

I have to work and I love my work. And, to be perfectly honest, sometimes the distance that living temporarily in Hartford provides is welcome. There is an escape from worry, from grief, from facing the inevitable, as I concentrate on doing my job. Losing myself in my work, in getting to know the actors I am coaching, in attending to the task at hand, is a much appreciated respite.

I’m so grateful that Don is here taking care of Scout, keeping the drips going in the taps as the temperatures go well below freezing, watching over the house, salting the driveway, all the things that need to be done. But especially taking care of our girl.

I am reminded, when I am in Hartford, of my last stay there when Scout was with me. When she was still able to enjoy a walk in the park, when she loved meeting lots of people and dogs, when she magically galloped under the glow of the lamps in the park with a power that astonished me. Lovely and precious memories, though bittersweet. There’s no way I could have her there with me now.

Anyway. It’s lovely being home. It will be lovely to back in Hartford as well. And there you go.

See you back in Hartford.

Happy Monday.

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The Process

January 5, 2016 at 9:56 am by Claudia

Dame Scout thanks you for all the birthday greetings. She considered it a sort of spa day: sleep, eat, sleep and sleep again, eat, with lots of loving from the parents who also sang Happy Birthday to her, then a plate of treats, then sleep.

Amazing that our little girl is 17!

1-5 script

I’ve been working with the script for Romeo and Juliet.

On my new desk, in my little office space, I might add! There’s lots of room to spread out and some privacy. (Though this cottage is so small, I can have a conversation with Don when he is downstairs in the living room without raising my voice. Yikes.)

My goal when I start to analyze the script, the meter, the words, and the meaning of those words is to tackle an act a day. Shakespeare’s plays consist of five acts. I worked on Act One on Sunday. Act Two was finished yesterday. Today will be devoted to Act Three.

1-5 texts

I have a lot of reference books – all of which will go along with me to Hartford. I often compare different editions of the plays because the editors’ notes vary. The big volume you see is my Riverside Shakespeare. The paperback is the Arden Shakespeare, which I already had on hand from a previous production of Romeo and Juliet. (I’ve coached it twice before; both times at the Old Globe – once with a young Neil Patrick Harris as Romeo, by the way.)

I have no idea what Darko plans to do with this production, but I know it will be stunning and exciting, simply because I’ve worked with him so many times and have witnessed his brilliance over and over again. I’ve worked with at least three of the actors before and I like them very much. But as we all know, I often encounter an actor who says I look familiar and, after some discussion, we realize that we’ve worked together before.

It happened again when I worked on that musical version of The Seagull a couple of months ago. I’d coached one of the actors at the Old Globe. He remembered me. Sadly, I didn’t remember him. Not because of anything to do with his talent – he’s a wonderful actor – simply because I’ve coached so many productions and worked with hundreds and hundreds of actors over 30 or so years. That’s not even counting the students I have taught and coached.

I used to pride myself on the fact that I never forgot a name or a face. Of course, I was younger then and that has something to do with it, but it’s also a simple case of numbers. The more people I work with, the more people I have to keep sorted in the filing system that is my brain.

The files are spilling out of the drawers, I’m afraid.

1-5 desktop

Decor8, a hugely popular site run by Holly Becker (who also teaches courses on blogging) has a great post today entitled, “Will Blogs Survive 2016?” I love what she has to say about blogging, and the risks we run when we do too many sponsored posts, have too many ads, or lose the essence of what drew us to blogging in the first place. You might find it very interesting.

I love Instagram, but it can never be anything other than a quick picture and update. And that’s fine, sometimes that’s exactly what I’m in the mood for. Blogging is about depth, about storytelling, about the conversation that goes on between author and reader.

I’m never entirely comfortable with ads, but I need them. Even though they bring in only a very small amount of money, they support the cost of running this blog. And they help pay for a bill or two along the way, which is very welcome. But the essence of this blog will always be personal content with the rare, and I mean rare, sponsored post.

I promise.

Happy Tuesday.

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Our Girl is Seventeen

January 4, 2016 at 8:22 am by Claudia

1-4 birthday girl

She’s Seventeen!

Yes, our little girl is seventeen years old today.

We found her when she was 11 months old – on December 4th, as a matter of fact – at an animal adoption fair north of San Diego. She was being walked and was coming in our direction. Don saw her, immediately stopped and dropped to his knees, and said, “Now, there’s a girl!“

She had been rescued from somewhere in the California desert.

We took her home, gave her a bath, introduced her to Winston and this ball of fire completely enchanted us. (We discovered that a border collie has lots and lots of energy and is very, very smart.)

Since then, she’s traveled across the country in a car, she’s lived on both coasts, she’s been a wonderful sister to her two brothers, and she’s been the best daughter ever. She’s brought great joy to our lives.

And she’s been with us almost our whole married life.

When we lost Winston suddenly, she kept us going.

When we lost Riley, she kept us going.

She has charmed everyone she has ever met. She loves people. She’s pure LOVE in the form of a dog.

She’s frailer than she was when we took this picture last year. She’s much frailer. The last year has seen dramatic changes in our girl. So many conversations center around missing something she used to do but no longer does. She doesn’t pounce anymore. She stopped jumping up on the loveseat a couple of months ago. She no longer happily runs to meet me when I come downstairs in the morning. We miss seeing her famous smile. The light in her eye has dulled, but it’s still there if you look closely.

But she’s still feisty and demanding. She still loves to eat. She still sniffs the ground when I let her outside in the early morning. She can still aim that ‘border collie stare’ at me when she wants something. She’s still and always will be our girl.

Happy Birthday, beloved girl. You’re seventeen today! Mom and Dad love and adore you and there just might be some extra treats today.

Happy Monday.

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Between

The Process

Our Girl is Seventeen

Lambs Like to Party

A Note

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