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You are here: Home / Archives for Scout

Kisses

January 5, 2017 at 9:24 am by Claudia

The sun is out.

It came out at the very end of the day yesterday and is shining today. Of course, it’s colder. I guess that’s the price we have to pay.

I was so desperate to post some photos other than the many I’ve taken of this apartment, that I ran outside yesterday after rehearsal and went to the park. I came up with these. Goodness, it was gloomy out there.

The city sets up an ice skating rink that lasts through the holidays and a bit beyond.

As I walked back toward the apartment, I saw the grassy areas where Scout loved to go when she stayed with me here in the apartment in the autumn of 2014. I must admit, I got very, very sad and that feeling stayed with me the rest of the day. I miss her. I wrote about it on Facebook and Instagram, so I won’t repeat myself here. Hartford is full of memories for me, and many of them – in the apartments, the hotel and the park – revolve around my girl.

The sun came out late in the day (after I’d taken these pictures, of course) and we were treated to a lovely sunset.

That’s the gold dome of the Capitol in the distance and the pond that’s in the park.

I saw two birds flying toward the sunset:

If you look closely, you can see them.

My little nephew, Z, called last night. He cannot figure out why I am here and not at home with Don. So he always says “Hi!” and then immediately follows with  “Is Uncle Don there?” I explain that Uncle Don is back home and this statement is greeted with “Why?” And then another “Why?”

Meredith has Z alternating his nightly calls between his Uncle Don and Aunt Claudia. He is fascinated with other languages at the moment. He said “Talk to me.” So I started yammering on about my day and he quickly interrupted with “No. Talk to me in a language.” So I said a few words in French, which he repeated and he offered some words in Spanish that he’d learned in school and we discussed how to say hello in Italian.

He is very smart.

Then, the best part of the call. He gave me butterfly kisses on the phone. He even took off his glasses to make it easier. Mere said he’s never done that before. Can you tell this Aunt was positively glowing? Yep. I sent some butterfly kisses his way, as well.

Hearing that voice on the phone makes my day.

Happy Thursday.

 

 

Filed Under: Hartford, Little Z, On The Road, Scout 28 Comments

Loving and Being Loved

December 22, 2016 at 9:28 am by Claudia

This photo travels with me wherever I go.

We’re heading into our first Christmas without our dear girl. The past few years have been full of ‘firsts.’ First Christmas without Don’s dad. First Christmas without Riley. First Christmas without Mom. First Christmas without Dad. First Christmas without Scout.

This loss, this forever change, is something we all wrestle with and I’m certainly not special in that regard. Coming to terms with the absence of loved ones is a daily struggle, but it is made even more poignant during the holiday season.

Which brings me to what we expect or hope or wish was ours on Christmas Day. There can be so much pressure for a picture-perfect Christmas. That’s not helped by the media, by Pinterest, by Instagram. I let go of that sort of pressure long ago. I wrote a post five years ago on this blog about Christmas and the expectations surrounding it: There is No Perfect Christmas. I just reread it and it still holds true.

There is no perfect Christmas, but there is  wonder and gratitude and love. Love never dies. As we acknowledge our losses, we also affirm our love for those we’ve lost which is never-ending. We are grateful for their presence in this physical plane of existence and, when they have left us, for their spiritual presence which is never-ending.

And, if I allow myself to stop and breathe and think about my loved ones, I am filled with wonder. And isn’t that what the season is truly about?

That doesn’t make the sense of loss any less, but it does make me grateful for the chance I’ve been given to love and be loved.

Heading home for the holidays tomorrow.

Happy Thursday.

Filed Under: Christmas, Don, Scout 38 Comments

Discombobulated

December 8, 2016 at 9:40 am by Claudia

Too much to do in too little time.

That’s the ‘status’ of my life right now.

This morning, I scrambled to find a photo or two to post, while trying to find jeans for my husband (online) that will fit his Big & Tall, almost 6′ 5″ body. The Levis site was hard to navigate, even after Don had done most of the work!

I keep thinking that Christmas is a week earlier than it is, because I’m leaving for Hartford and will not be able to do any shopping or prep that week.

Basically, I’m running around with lists in my head; Christmas gifts, Christmas prep, what to pack, what to buy to take with me to Hartford, things I have to do around here before I leave, and the ongoing script research and preparation that I’m doing daily

I’m feeling discombobulated (one of my favorite words.)

I posted this photo on Instagram yesterday. I finally found an 8 x 8 frame for this favorite photo of Scoutie wearing my glasses. It’s sitting on the desk by the stairs.

First Christmas without her. Sigh.

Today: Act 4 of The Comedy of Errors. Tomorrow: Act 5. Then I’ll be finished with my initial prep, but I’ll take another spin through the text to check for anything I’ve missed and then I should be good to go.

That’s all I can give you today, friends. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and slept a bit later than usual today, so I’ve got to get going.

Happy Thursday.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Christmas, Hartford, Scout 30 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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Scout & Riley. Riley left us in 2012. Scout left us in February 2016. Dearest babies. Dearest friends.

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