Yours truly is tuckered out today. Since Sunday, we’ve been working outside for several hours every day – mowing, weeding. working on some areas of the back forty, cleaning gutters, weeding some more, clearing the trails in the woods, etc. Today, I’ve opted for some rest, though I do have clean the tub and floor in the bathroom. On one hand, we love that we are strong enough for some physical labor, on the other hand…we’re sort of tired.
Yesterday, we spent all morning on a self-tape audition that Don had to submit. It was rather complicated but it went fairly smoothly and Don was happy with it. The rest of it? You just have to let go because there’s no controlling the outcome. As I always say it’s a bit of a crap shoot. In fact, every potential job in theater, film, or television is definitely a crap shoot.
Control is an issue of mine as an adult child of an alcoholic. It’s also an issue for my sister. When you grow up living in an environment that can go out of control at any minute, having any sort of control is desperately needed. It’s why I don’t drink and never did drugs. It’s also why I need to feel in control of most situations, but of course, that isn’t always going to be the case. Don recognized this about me early on. I sometimes have to cede control and that is a good thing. Don – even though he’s also an adult child of an alcoholic – is more spontaneous. I’ll always opt for control, though. It makes me feel safer.
I can hear the mourning dove calling as I write this. That makes me smile.
Uh oh. The thought of mowing the back forty just popped in my head. You see? The urge to go outside and do something is back. But the bathtub! And the floor!
We’ll see what happens.
Stay safe.
Happy Friday.
kathy in iowa says
you’ve been busy! maybe today should be for taking it easy. i do know, though, how good it feels to get stuff crossed off my “to do” list so understand if you choose to tackle other projects.
best wishes and prayers for don’s audition to lead to more work for him, hopefully the project of his dreams.
taking it easy here, mostly in advance of having four appointments over the next two weeks (car – air conditioner/money; stye in my left eyelid; routine bone density shot and exam; scary appointment about my liver … no other information yet about that); three days in a row. after decades of working more than full-time (often had two jobs, one full- and the other part-time, both stressful), being busy with other things, i don’t seem to have much energy or patience or the greatest coping skills right now with a busy retirement. i have no wish to be “busy” in retirement except with my family and hobbies … but will keep praying, keep doing what i can and keep taking it easy as i can.
had a couple nice cooler days and loved the cloudy skies … easier on my eyes. today is to be sunny and noticeably hotter so will spend it all indoors.
hope the weather is to your liking and you have a wonderful day and weekend ahead. stay safe.
kathy
Claudia says
I know you are worried about the liver appointment, Kathy. I’m praying that all is well and that you can let go of that worry.
Both Don and I find that we are more easily thrown/shaken nowadays about something that we could have handled with relative ease when we were younger.
Stay safe.
kathy in iowa says
thanks for the prayers and kind words, claudia. much appreciated! :) i keep you, don and everyone else here in my prayers.
will keep you posted on the liver stuff.
same here about feeling shaken about *stuff* that i could and did easily take care of in younger years. not easy, but maybe part of getting older. i don’t know, but we do the best we can, right?
hope you and don are having a good start to your weekend.
xo,
kathy
Claudia says
xo
Linda MacKean says
Keeping you in my prayers Kathy!
Elaine in Toronto says
Moderation, Claudia, moderation. Take it easy today. Hope Don gets good vibes with his demo tape. Fingers crossed. Hugs, Elaine
Claudia says
Thanks for your kind words, Elaine.
Stay safe.
Donnamae says
My fingers are always crossed for Don and you when it comes to opportunities. Hope it’s positive news.
I find that yard work is usually relaxing, unless you are under a self imposed deadline. You did get a lot accomplished, and yes…I always feel good knowing we can still do this stuff. Looks like the humidity around here is going to be lower for a few days. Yay.
Hope you get to rest for a bit. Enjoy your day! ;)
Claudia says
Our humidity was slightly higher today, but nearly as bad as it was. I’ll take it.
Stay safe, Donnamae.
Deb in Phoenix says
I am also a child of an alcoholic. Still pops in my head, even at this age. I am getting better at giving up control. Sounds like you got a lot done yesterday. Always feels good to get chores done. Is your restroom upstairs or downstairs? You know I love your house! Love my Golden Retriever but there is always hair to clean up. Non stop. It is getting slightly cooler here but still not enough to go outside and do all of our chores out there. Sometimes I feel like jumping in our pond with our fish! Go rest today.
Claudia says
We have one and half baths. The half bath is upstairs, the full bath is downstairs.
I grew up with golden retrievers and both my sisters had them as well. Plus, Don and I have had 3 long-haired dogs. I understand!
Stay safe, Deb.
Betsy B says
I really love this post. I understand completely and am glad that you also have a partner who understands. xo
Claudia says
Thank you so much, Betsy.
Stay safe.
Shanna says
I love that moody shot of the late-summer echinacea. Rest up whenever you can, that’s my motto lately.
Claudia says
Mine, as well! Just took a short nap.
Stay safe, Shanna.
maria says
Dear fellow control freak…….I hear you Came from an a chaotic childhood. Father a playboy, and drinker…..mother who couldnt or wouldnt leave him. The alcohol didnt kill him but he died of lung cancer at the age of 46. We had some years of sobriety and I remember them….but he was sick by then. After his death, I would lie awake nights afraid of the future….of loss of any kind. A walking wound. Many years later…..and after therapy I got in touch with and dealt with the sad little girl I was. Now……that I am in my seventies….you would think I could let go….and roll the dice. I am trying. The outward appearances….your lovely house, husband, …..you have calmed the inner demons. They just crop up now and then in similar ways for those of us who lived that early life.
Rest up…..you can plow the back forty tom.
Be well.
Claudia says
Yes. Sometimes I handle it all rather well, and others? Not nearly so well. Don is also sober and has been for 46 years, so he completely understands.
My dad had several sober years when he and mom retired to northern Michigan and I began to like him again. That was such a gift. He began drinking again in later years when the loss of my mother was too much. He was a good man and I miss him.
Hang in there, Maria. I understand.
Stay safe.
jeanie says
You two work so hard and I so admire and appreciate that. Well done, my friend. Now rest.
This has been a total rest day pretty much. It was a good but long weekend with the memorial service and much social energy spent with family. A 12 hour ride home yesterday; two falls over three days. Black and blue and hobbling a bit but fortunately my nose didn’t break when I landed on it on the cement. Today I was very lazy!
Claudia says
Oh no! I’m so sorry. I’m happy you’re relatively okay. Take it slow and rest up.
Stay safe, Jeanie.