Yesterday, my dear friend Joe was admitted to the hospital for a partial robotic nephrectomy. I spoke to him the night before; he was packing a bag, understandably nervous about the operation, and hoping he would only have to stay there one night. His friend, Carmel, was my contact for updates on the surgery, which started around 7:30 am. I was part of an 8 person text group so Carmel could update us all at the same time. The next text asked for prayers because Joe had a “cardiac event” as they started surgery. Resuscitation was in progress. After he was resuscitated, he was put on ECMO, and had a brain scan.
I had to look up ECMO – it stands for Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation. It is an “advanced temporary life-support machine that does the work of the heart and lungs for critically ill patients.” It makes sure the brain continues to receive oxygenated blood.
The next update said that Carmel and Melissa – two of Joe’s friends, he has no living family (correction: he has a niece) – were trying to make the best decision as to his care and that he was going to be transferred to Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids – which is all the way across the state of Michigan from the Detroit area. They apparently have a specialized unit that can give the kind of care that he can’t get locally.
That was about 1:05 pm and we were told they would update us when they knew more.
It’s 8:06 am on Friday and there have been no updates.
I am heartsick for my dear friend. We’ve been friends for over 40 years. Joe, Jan, and I shared a house for about 3 or 4 years. I left to go to grad school. We were extremely close, the three of us. Joe was by Jan’s side last year as she fought a losing battle with pancreatic cancer. And now this, something I never expected would happen during his surgery.
Joe updated me about Jan all the time. I could text or call him and he’d tell me what was happening. If Jan was with us, she would do the same, but Jan has passed away and I only have this one contact. It’s such a powerless feeling. I’m not there, I’m far away, and I want to scream “Please, give me an update!” – which I am just about to do.
Joe is a year and a half younger than me.
From what I’ve heard about ECMO, this is as serious as it gets. And Mere tells me it’s very hard to come back from that kind of life support. It can be done, but what kind of quality of life will he have?
I know nothing more at this time.
Don stayed by my side all day yesterday. And he will today.
Please send out some prayers for my Joe.
I should add that Joe is a church organist, and many of the people on this text chain are people from his church. He is beloved there, so he has lots of support and for that I am grateful.
Stay safe.
🙏sending prayers
Saying prayers for your Joe, Claudia. Hopefully, he’ll be able to rally from this. Life sucks sometimes. Hugs, Elaine
Lots of prayers for Joe. Please DO contact your sole contact NOW, if you haven’t already. They may know nothing, but at least you’ll know too.
Sending love and healing wishes.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Joe. Hope you know soon.
The hardest part of all of this…is the not knowing. I hope you find out soon what is happening. Blessings to Joe! ;)
prayer said and more will follow for joe, you, don, carmel, melissa and everyone else who cares for joe, including the medical team.
not sure i took a breath while reading your words about joe just now. can only imagine how very, very tough that news is for you (and everyone else who knows and loves joe). please take extra-good care of yourself, especially now.
thank you, as always, for sharing such things here with us. and thanks especially for asking for prayers for your friend. i think that’s the very best thing we can ever do for each other.
i keep you, don, everyone else here and your families and friends in my prayers. xo
kathy
So sorry to hear about your dear friend. I’m thinking of him, and you.
Thank you so much.
Stay safe.
My heart goes out to you as you face your helplessness during Joe’s fight. The not knowing is truly horribly anxiety-ridden. Joe needs your love and support, and you certainly have your blog family’s love and support. Sending positive thoughts that Joe can pull through.
I’m so sorry about your friend. I live about an hour north of Grand Rapids….Butterworth hospital is very good. I hope you get an update soon with better news.
Take care
I hope your friend recovers soon. I will keep him in my thoughts that I send out into the universe. I’m sure someone is listening.
Take Care,
Kaye
Prayers for your friend Joe, and for you and his other friends during this stressful time. I’m glad your sister was able to explain to you the treatment he was given. Sometimes the not knowing is worse than the knowing. I used to read your sister’s blog as well as yours. I hope that life is going well now for her and that she returns to it.
Oh gosh Claudia, I will keep your Joe in my prayers, as well as you and his other close friends. I do agree with your sister about ECMO, it is extreme treatment. Sending you love.