You’ve seen this photo before; it’s one of my favorites.
Missing my dad on this, my first Father’s Day without him. Thinking of my sister who is feeling the same sense of loss. And of all of you who miss your fathers.
And of my husband, who is missing being a father to Scout.
A bittersweet day and a day where every post in the blogging world and on Instagram and Facebook seems to be about fathers. So I’m going to lay low.
I’ve not been sleeping well this past week. I wake up in the middle of the night and then I stay awake for hours. It’s very frustrating.
All that being said, we have to have a least one pretty flower picture, don’t we?
The first daylily to open up in the side garden bed. A cheery yellow daylily.
Happy Sunday.
Linda @ A La Carte says
(((((HUGS))))))
Claudia says
Thank you, dear Linda!
Wendy T says
Claudia, a day to remember, to replay happy scenes from yesterdays with loved ones….. your Dad, Scout, Riley, Winston. I’ve been thinking of my late husband and how much he has missed these past few years. How much his daughters have matured. He was a proud and loving daddy. I miss him, and how his face would light up reading his daughters’ handmade cards…
Claudia says
I know this day must be especially poignant for you, Wendy. Thinking of you and your daughters and sending love.
Janie F. says
Love this picture Claudia! Hope you and Don enjoy your day.XOXO
Claudia says
Thank you, Janie. You have a great day!
Mary D. says
I miss my dad, too. But I’m remembering that he was always there when I needed him.
Thinking of you. Have a peaceful day.
Claudia says
As was mine, Mary. He loved us all very much. Have a wonderful day, Mary.
Joan says
O, Claudia, How wonderful for you to post the beautiful photo of the Lemon Lily. Yellow is my best ‘cheer me up’ color….so it really touched my heart today. Father’s Day is difficult for me for so many reasons; my father and I were not close and it wasn’t until long after his death that my understanding of him deepened. Why he was the way he was. A product of his generation like we all are. So I miss the father I never really knew and sad that he didn’t know his daughter either.
Coupled with that, it has been a year ago that my last kittie (Jack) died. Just two months after another one had passed. To lose 2 so close together was almost unbearable. The emptiness and quiet, as you well know, is deafening at times. That is partly why you and Don are so in my thoughts often. My heart feels with you. It is good that you have each other and that must be a great comfort.
Walk barefoot through the grass and among those beautiful flowers. Just being out of doors is so healing. Have a peaceful day.
Claudia says
Yes, I know this day is difficult for so many and for so many reasons. This has been a tough two years for me – for us – and yesterday I was in a real funk. A very quiet and introspective day. Today is better. Have a wonderful day, Joan. Thinking of you.
carol harrison says
i’m sorry you haven’t been sleeping well. have you heard of the Himalayan Pink Salt lamps? I have one in my bedroom and have been sleeping much better with it on. I leave it on all of the time. My daughter bought me another one for in my living room this week. it puts positive ions into the air. it claims to address several ailments. I have read up on it and I know several people who swear by them. they are inexpensive from Walmart of Bed Bath and Beyond.
Claudia says
I’ll check those lamps out, Carol. Thanks so much for the suggestion/information!
Nancy Blue Moon says
Missing my Daddy today too Claudia..gone since I was 10 years old…I know this pain is so fresh for you and Mere…such a beautiful yellow daylily…my orange ones just started to open yesterday…Hugs..
Claudia says
It is fresh, though it probably never gets a whole lot easier, does it? Thinking of you, Nancy.
Nancy Blue Moon says
It always remains a little ache that you feel in your heart…
Claudia says
xoxo
Vicki says
I don’t know what to do about these painful holidays except to make myself remember the good times when dads were in my life (father, uncles, grandfathers, etc.) and I’ll reach out to a distant cousin today and my husband will call his far-away-in-miles brother.
Oh, Claudia; we’re so hot; blistering heat wave in SoCalif; it’s almost a hundred degrees (f) here and it’s not even noon. We’ve had to regroup about our spruce-up ‘remodeling’ and seek shelter of the indoors. I’m not feeling great anyway; trying to adjust to a new antibiotic which is not agreeing with me (queasy).
And for what it’s worth, my husband’s sleep and mine as ‘seniors ‘ is awful. So depleting. I hear you. My husband can never sleep past 3am. I’m so worried about him because he doesn’t have too many hours he can devote to sleep anyway, due to his jobs/work hours. And it’s been years of this, not months, of poor sleep for him…to where we roll around the idea of earlier retirement for him to dial down the stress in general. The primary care physician is trying him out on melatonin supplements because he refuses to take prescription sleep aids. So far, it’s not working. (He’d tried the other and still never got more than 5 hrs in…and then it seemed to lose effectiveness for him. He just has a real fear of drug dependency; it’s a personal choice. But chronic sleep deprivation is serious. The doctor says you have to practice good sleep hygiene, like a dark and cool room, no light from a clock or electronic device or from a window {moonlight}, watch the food/liquid intake after 8pm, etc.) We’ve both developed health issues which also compromise good sleep. Sigh…the good ‘ol days, when we slept for hours; bliss! Are you having aches and pains from too much yard work? Pain can keep you up, too.
I’ve borrowed this laptop again as my big computer is down. I’m struggling with it (mac, as I’d said; keyboard is odd for me). I don’t have a smart phone/i-phone. It’s quite revealing to discover how restless I’ve felt without the ability to be online when I hadn’t thought I spent THAT much time on the web anyway; but, it’s more a part of my life than I’d realized. Not just blogging, but the ability to research something; fact-find immediately; etc. I also miss going into in-depth articles of my choosing about current events, ala your excellent NY Times piece from yesterday.
Anyway, thinking of you today. Hug exchange here, me to you. I have a certain amount of envy on days like this, of people who are part of large families with the typical big-family get-togethers for many kinds of occasions although, of course, the other part of me is happy for such lucky people. When you have a small family, there are often no ‘back-ups’ to fill the empty spaces. I actually had a heartless and insensitive person say to me one time, “Well, sorry it’s a problem for you, but you could have chosen to have children.” Like I didn’t try.
Acknowledging what I do have in front of me for the rest of the day…my good, hardworking husband as we work side by side to reload shelves in the kitchen. If the queasiness continues, I have the privilege of being able to go lay down when others are standing on their feet at a cash register for hours on end. I have central air conditioning when others don’t; I love Sundays. And to borrow from (wasn’t it?) Scarlett O’Hara, tomorrow is another day…
Claudia says
It’s 92 degrees here and humid – and more of the same tomorrow. I guess we’re plunging right into summer. I’ve had to water the young plants twice already today – the heat is too much for them. Like you say, we have air conditioning and shelter and many do not. So I won’t complain too much!
The woman that said that to you was an insensitive ass. And even if you did decide to have children, take it from my family – that’s no guarantee that they’re going to stick around. My sister who has estranged herself from all of us hadn’t physically seen my parents for 14 years when Dad died. Of course, the whole point here is it was none of that woman’s frigging business!
Vicki says
Aw, thanks for your perspective and I’m always so sad to hear of your estranged sister; what a waste and a shame (I have followed over time, your angst and frustration over it/her). I’d have so loved to have had a sis. And, yes, people say hurtful things; I never quite know why.
Oh, you may have us beat on the heat. We were 100 degrees at 1pm PST but our humidity is low. I well remember the combo of heat and high humidity from living on the Gulf Coast and I understand the Eastern Seaboard/Atlantic states can be just as bad. When I looked us up on the Nat’l Weather Service page today, the meteorologist glibly wrote, “Welcome to Summer” – and bugs, drought and, oh well…
Claudia says
We have an ‘air quality warning’ today. Welcome to summer, indeed!
meredith says
I am having a tough day, I know you are too.
Love you,
M
Claudia says
I am. I left you a message on your home phone, Mere. Love you today and always.
Linda Kimura says
Claudia
That is a beautiful photograph. Your dad looks like a movie star.
Blessings
Linda
Claudia says
He looks pretty cool in that photo, Linda!