Thank you so much for your lovely comments yesterday! We had a happy and peaceful day celebrating our ‘day of recognition’ – that day when you meet someone and even if you don’t fully realize it yet, something in you knows that everything has changed.
We were talking about our first meeting and the months that followed. We were seriously attracted to each other, of course. I was attracted but wary – just because that was my pattern in relationships. Anyway, we started seeing each other when we had some free time (both of us were in the middle of rehearsals for our productions) and eventually, his show closed and he had to leave for Arizona, where he had been cast in another show. I remember feeling relieved because I could get back to my normal schedule, which in reality meant that I wouldn’t have to deal with the fear I had about a serious relationship. Because I was scared.
No cell phones in those days. No text messages.
Every Monday night, which is the traditional day off in the theater, Don would call me – landline to landline – and we would talk for hours. HOURS! Our initial attraction was very physical. In the course of the phone conversations, we really got to know each other. We talked about everything. We shared our fears and insecurities, our past experiences…just two voices on the phone, with no competition from notifications on a cell phone, no distractions from Twitter or Instagram or a personal computer. (I didn’t have one yet, though I bought a Mac a few months later.)
And then the phone call would end and we’d have to wait another week to speak to each other. It was lovely. I had the space and time to really think about him. I wasn’t distracting myself with handheld devices. I was either working or home and that was it. But I wasn’t feeling the pressure I might have felt had he been in town. Eventually, as I got to know him more deeply, my fears began to fade away.
We were so lucky to live in that ‘no distractions’ world. We thought about that a lot yesterday and acknowledged that it would be an entirely different experience nowadays and not in a good way. We’d have had to dodge the selfies and constant temptation to post that are so much a part of daily living now. We would have lived in fear that someone at the theater would have snapped a quick picture of us (because who doesn’t do that now?) when we were trying very hard to keep our relationship private.
The world has changed so much in the past 28 years! How fortunate we were to meet when we did.
Stay safe.
Happy Tuesday.
