There was an earlier post on this blog where I used this photo. I also referenced these same lyrics by Leonard Cohen, but I placed the text below the photo. Then I decided to do this version for my husband.
Since I just started How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny last night, those words are on my mind again. (They also live on the chalkboard in the studio.) In her introduction, Penny, who often quotes poetry in her books, tells us about approaching Cohen to ask permission to use those lyrics. Fully expecting to pay a sizable fee for them, as is almost always the case with copyrighted text, she was amazed when Cohen told her she could use them for free. What makes that gesture even more amazing is the fact that he’d recently had all of his savings stolen by someone he had trusted. Such a generous spirit!
How the Light Gets In was released this year and that means, my friends, that I’m at the end of the series. At least, the end so far. Hurry, hurry Louise Penny! Write another Inspector Gamache Novel! And they are literary novels, in addition to being mysteries. She is simply a superb writer.
Hot chocolate.
Need I say more? Yesterday, after a brisk walk late in the day, some hot chocolate seemed to be in order. I’m limiting my intake, though. I only allow this treat every 3 days or so as it has a sneaky way of adding on the pounds.
A mini rant: I don’t know if you’ve been following the situation with the Miami Dolphins. I’m not a football fan, but this has been all over the news. A player abruptly left the team after having been subjected to bullying by a fellow team member. The more I read about the atmosphere in the locker room and about the player accused of the bullying, the more disgusted I get. These are adults who should know better. And what really steams me are all the interviews with fellow players who blame the guy being bullied for not ‘standing up for himself’ instead of the guy who did the bullying.
What the? Why do these guys blame the victim instead of the perpetrator? I don’t care whether we’re talking about a small child or a big, burly football player – the victim is blameless.
Then, last night, I saw an excerpt from an interview with Tucker Carlson where he actually said that bullying is a ‘fad’ and implied we’re making too big a deal of it. Really? What planet is this guy living on? Tell that to the parents of a child who committed suicide because of bullying. Tell that to the victims who find their lives forever changed because they were bullied.
This sort of ‘suck it up and stand up for yourself’ mentality is simplistic and dangerous. It implies that victims of a crime choose to be victims. It’s just a step away from the ‘she asked for it’ response to a charge of rape.
No. Those who bully are the wrong-doers. They have to be brought to account. There is no excuse for it; whether online, in a school or on a professional football team.
Happy Saturday.
Oh how true Claudia. I spent 35 years as a psychologist in the schools and the senseless deaths of 2 students as the direct result of bullying still haunt me. Bullying is a cruel form of torture.
It is indeed, Cindy.
Bullying is pervasive in our society. Adults engage in it and then ask why the kids are doing it.
True. And very sad, Carolyn.
I’m right behind you on this one. My daughter said she remembered me telling her that one thing she would always regret when she got older is if she ever treated anyone badly. I am so glad I told her that, but you know, I don’t remember it. I guess I was a much better mother than I thought I was!
You were a good mother, Tana!
Our society needs to open our eyes to this horrible thing called Bullying! My daughter experienced this in High School and it was so frightening to me when I found out. Kids try to keep it from parents and then you have these suicides. Lucky for me, my daughter finally told me and we changed her school. Not all parents are as lucky as I am! It doesn’t matter if they are kids or adults, bullying is cruel, dangerous and we need to stand up to it!
That said, I want to tell you I am reading the first Louise Penny Inspector Gamache book! I got it on my Kindle. I’m enjoying it very much. I hope to find more at the library! and yes I like to read them in order! Happy Saturday Claudia!
Thank goodness your daughter felt she could tell you about it, Linda.
Enjoy Inspector Gamache – You will love the books.
Hi Claudia!! You are right on about bullying – it is never acceptable be it with a child or adult…. and happening far too much as far as I am concerned. I am glad so much light is being shed on it lately. When my daughter was a child many years ago (more than 20), a group of mothers who supervised the children on the playground were bullying my daughter because my daughter and one of their daughters were having a spat (they were about 10 yrs old at the time). I had a very hard time trying to get anyone in the school to help me… I finally had to go really high up on the chain of command to get some help and that person did very swiftly help me… I sympathize very deeply with anyone who is being bullied….
I am also a big fan of Louise Penney and have read a lot of her books… She is a wonderful author!! If you didn’t already know, she has a Facebook page and regularly posts about her life and how she is progressing on her new book (not yet named). I enjoy following her!! Have a good Saturday!! Francine
Thank you, Francine. I’ll follow her FB page.
So many of you have had personal experiences with bullying. It clearly is not just a ‘fad.’
Have to know what hot chocolate you drink, I have never found one that I am in love with other than homemade? Do tell:)
Ghirardelli’s. The best.
You are so right…bullying needs to stop at all levels. Our athletes are often seen as role models for our youth. It may not be right, but that seems to be the way it is! So I hold professional athletes to a higher level. Enjoy your day…it’s very windy here…great day for hot chocolate! ;)
I also hold them to a higher level. Donna. Kids look up to them.
I don’t ever remember being bullied or seeing it done when I was in HS in the early 60s. My daughter has told me stories of her middle school years and HS, and it’s awful what is said and done now a days. I’m glad that player left the team, he is making a statement and hopefully his leaving will shed more light on the awful practice. A little Ghiradelli’s chocolate in my coffee is wonderful!
Yes, Annette, good point. I applaud him for leaving the team. Zero tolerance.
If it is a fad it started back in 1956 at least. Take that Tucker Carlson. There was a boy in my third grade class who tried to take my lunch money. Being a child who missed a few meals in those days, I refused. He hit me. I was at a military school overseas and he was an officer’s kid, apparently, but I kept my money. Grown ups who work together should know better, I agree. So should Tucker Carlson.
I fear that bullying is as old as time, Jinny, and the furthest thing from a fad.
A few weeks ago a girl who was 12 and lived in our area commited suicide because she was bullied by 2 or 3 other girls at school. It’s so sad to me to think that someone so young could be so hurt that they couldn’t see anything good in their life. There is no excuse for bullying period! Sports figures should be held to higher standards because our youth look up to them so much. I was never a victim of bullying but saw a little of it in jr. high school. Such a sad thing.
We are praying for good weather this afternoon as we are off to an outdoor wedding.
Me too. Such a tremendous sadness that these things happen and that young people, already vulnerable, can be pushed over the edge by hurtful and vicious bullying.
When I was in high school, there was a girl who said very mean things to me every chance she got. I never understood why. Instead of upsetting me, though, I felt sorry for her and wondered how someone so cute could be so mean. What helped was that I had three of the greatest friends (who are still my friends 50 years later) and I didn’t “need” this girl’s approval to feel included. If I hadn’t had those friends, it could have been totally different, and I can understand how being bullied can be so devastating. Interestingly, at our 20-year reunion, the first reunion I attended, she came up to me and said she had looked for me at every reunion, because she wanted to apologize. She said she knew she had been mean to me, and wanted me to know she was ashamed and that she would never do anything like that now, and hoped I could forgive her. I told her that if I hadn’t had my friends, those years could have been difficult. And I forgave her.
Thank goodness you had that support. It’s nice to know, also, that your tormentor realized what she had done and atoned for it.
Another good post, Claudia. May I use your picture with the quote to share on my facebook page? I would give you and your blog the credit, of course!
Of course!
My daughter is teaching high school English/mass comm. and coaches,too. She deals with bullying too often. What is really sad is that the parents won’t acknowledge that their child is a bully. It’s just pushed back onto the teachers & counselors. Unfortunately, a child is often a “mirror” of the parents behavior and it is just a vicious cycle.
Hear, hear! Well said.
And I’m going to the library this week to look for Louise Penny. Haven’t read her work yet but the CBC did an amazing movie of the first book. J
I love Penny’s books. This one was deep and darker than some of the rest of them. She is a lovely talented writer. And as I commented before I love the song “anthem” by Leonard Cohen where he uses these words. Bad Madoof, but lucky us who have benefited from Cohen’s continued performances.
Bullying! It is so real and so pervasive, even among adults. Last night another reporter said ‘this is not really bullying, it is just bad talking’. What? It is so sad that Incognito is getting all the press and too much support.
I can certainly remember bullying going on back in the 1950s and it never has and never will be okay. As for Louise Penny, I have finished all of her books, too, but she is in London writing her next in the series and has finished her first draft. I can’t wait for the next one in the series. xo Laura
I have just finished reading the 4th book in the Inspector Gamach series and I have enjoyed every one. I wasn’t sure when I started reading the first book but by the time I had finished I was hooked. Thank you for recommending them Claudia.
I meant Gamache not Gamach.
I totally agree with you Claudia!
Amen! My husband says that all kids lived in fear of bullies when he was in school–like the one in A Christmas Story. But it’s moved to a whole new level. I worry about my little granddaughter going to school someday and she’s only 1.
BRAVO, Claudia!
I love your rants!!
Totally agree with you about bullies (though I have no idea about the Miami Dolphins story since I don’t watch the news or follow football) – it’s just wrong. Unfortunately, it’s even more pervasive now that there’s cyber-bullying.
If only my favorite authors, including Ms. Penny, could come out new books as soon as I finish the last one!
I agree with you 100 percent. Disgusting behavior, and bravo to the player who walked off. It brought the whole nasty business to light and maybe, just maybe, something will change for the better. WHY must humans torture each other, our existence is short lived and difficult time and again, why make it worse for each other. Every corner of this earth could be a supportive community and quality of ALL life would improve if Humans could just be… humane.
Love your rants Claudia..Its ‘ as if you’re reading my mind…