I’ve been searching for succulents to replace the ones that didn’t make it when I knocked over Riley’s Dish Garden about a week ago. Right now, the pickings are slim around my neck of the woods. I’m sure there will be much more available when the nurseries put out their new stock for the spring. But since snow is forecast for the Northeast today, I think that’s going to have to wait. (By the way, I think we are going to dodge that bullet, with only a sprinkling of snow. Cross your fingers.)
I did find two plants, one of which will probably have to be transferred to a pot in the near future. But in the meantime, my precious Riley’s Dish Garden has been replanted.
The tall plants in the back are from the original dish garden.
I miss my boy.
I was fine yesterday when I was adding soil and plants but, today, looking at these photos? I’m suddenly teary eyed. I see the dish and I see his big brown eyes. I can smell his wonderful scent. I feel the silky smooth hair on his ears and forehead. I tell him I love him and miss him and oh, how I wish he was here.
You never get over the loss, do you?
I was recently telling someone the story of our first dog, Winston, and his rapid decline at the age of eight when a tumor was discovered on his heart. To my surprise, I started to cry. It’s been over ten years since we said goodbye to our beloved boy, yet in an instant I can be right back in that horrible time of grief and loss. It wasn’t until a year or so after we lost Winston that I realized I had been in a sort of depression for several months following his death.
My dogs are my children. As I watch Scout lose the crazy energy she once had, see her slow down and sleep more, hear her groan because of her aching joints, with eyes and ears that aren’t functioning as sharply as they used to, I know that this time is precious. Beyond precious. We are all too aware that she is 15 and we are so grateful she is still with us. Don doesn’t like being away from her at this time in her life. I understand. She is everything to us. She is our daughter. She is the magic dog that everyone loves. Her smile lights up the room.
Ah, I’m crying again.
Anyway. I know you understand. Riley has been gone for a year and a half, though it seems like yesterday when he was here with us. Winston has been gone for over 10 years, yet in an instant, I am with him.
I like to think they are with me in spirit and soul. I hope they are. I hope they nuzzle up against me when I’m down. I hope Winston and Riley visit Scout, who has outlived them both. I hope that, when I am sleeping upstairs, they are all having a fine time together downstairs. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Once again, a blog post has taken me somewhere I didn’t expect to go. I was just going to write about the new look of the Dish Garden and here I am, writing about love and loss.
By the way, Scout is on Glucosamine and that has helped a lot. Nevertheless, she has swelling on her joints, her hips hurt, she limps a little. She gets tired easily. But her spirit is strong.
Let’s close on a ‘cute’ note. While I was at the nursery, there was a display of minis meant for fairy gardens. But fairy gardens are ubiquitous and I have enough to handle with my real-sized gardens. However, one piece stood out and I bought it.
For my dollhouse, of course.
Yep. That adirondack chair. The owner of the dollhouse sits in it and reads while drinking a glass of iced tea. Sometimes she props her legs up on the porch railing. Sometimes she just sits and watches the world go by.
Happy Tuesday.
Cute porch chair and table. Your succulent garden is beautiful. And no you never get over loosing a pet :( It’s a sad thing. XO
It is very sad, Dawn.
Claudia,
Our dog, Josh, is like part of the family and he is over13 years with us. He has a pituatary disease, the name slips my mind right now. We are doing all we can to make his days as comfortable as possible. But it will be a sad day when he is gone, especially for my husband. Josh is crazy for him.
I love your dish garden.
Keep your chin up, friend!!
Linda
I will, Linda!
What a beautiful idea, as I only started following your blog a short time ago I wasn’t aware of this but what a wonderful way to have a part of your beloved pet with you always. I have cats, my one cat I have had for over 8 years. I watched her come into the world and have seen her through two of her own litters. I look at her questioning how far she can jump now, taking that extra bounce before leaping and my heart swells, a lump forms. She is beautiful and still healthy but these small signs make me think of her mortality.
I think it is harder with dogs in some ways. They are a complete part of your family, they not only wait at the window for your return but they are with you on more of your journeys, are part of more memories. I am sending lots of love to you. We all understand that losing a pet is losing a member of our families xxx
I try not to think about Scout’s mortality, but sometimes it overwhelms me, Emma.
All you have to say is dog and death, and I tear up. And no you really don’t get over it, and yes, I cry, too, after my two babies (and other beloved pets) have been gone for years. I am crying right now, typing about it. My family are huge animal lovers.
I saw a picture the other day of a man who had previously been a zoo keeper for the giraffes. The man was dying of cancer, and His last wish was to see the giraffes again. They took him by ambulance and wheeled him out in a hospital bed to see his beloved giraffes, and one of the giraffes came over, leaned down, and licked his face. It was amazing. Animals are such precious friends.
I am glad you got Riley’s garden replanted. I loved the symbolism of the dark earth looking like his eyes. So sweet. My Miss Toots felt like velvet when you petted her, and she had the quirkiest looks. I miss her more than I can ever begin to say. She epitomized the expression, “My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet.” Her cohort in crime, Miss T, would literally squeal with delight when Mr. Magpie would come home after a long trip. They were an amazing pair of magical pups, and we were so blessed to have been loved by them.
xo
Sheila
I have been blessed by all three of our dogs and by all the dogs that I grew up with.
Me, too, Claudia, and there have been many pets of all sorts over the years. I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt, they are waiting for us, too. The “girls”, as we refer to them, were the first dogs that we got as a couple. Prior to that (as a couple), we had beloved cats (a trio whom we adopted and a stray who adopted us). Some lived to be old. Currently, and for the first time in both our lives, we are petless, but that has to be for a while. My grandfather adored dogs and horses so much that they mentioned it in his obituary in the early 1900’s. Bearing that in mind, I wrote the obituary of a close friend’s husband and took great care to mention his little dog who never left his side the whole time he was sick. He deserved to be included with the rest of the family because he was definitely family and one of the survivors.
Oh, the love of our dogs! My Abby is still young, she is nearly 4, but it seems like yesterday when she was a poor abandoned puppy that I got from our local rescue group. I love her so much! My dear Babs, another rescue dog, died in 1998 and I still get tears remembering her. I love my brother’s & sister’s dogs like my own…they are truly part of our family. Dogs have so much to teach us about unconditional love.Thinking of you & your sweet dog.
They do indeed. They love us no matter what. The greatest blessing I can think of!
That is a beautiful dish garden and a wonderful tribute to Riley. We’ve also lost 2 dogs in our 35 years of marriage. Our Chloe is now about 8. We’re not sure of her exact age as she was a rescue dog. I dread the day and refuse to even think about not having her around. They find their way into your heart and soul. Oh, and I love your little chair on the porch. Perfect.
Blessings,
Betsy
I can’t make myself go there, either, Betsy.
Our first ‘boy’was Jason. We didn’t have children yet and he was our son. It’s been close to 25 years he’s gone but I still miss him. Then we’ve had many cats who have passed away, but my first cat as an adult was Papillion. She was all white with blue eyes. She lived to be 21. I still miss her. So, I feel your sadness. Good memories help. At Christmas, we lost our sweet Tucker. He was a big fluff ball of a cat. I miss him a lot.
So sorry to hear of your recent loss, Christina. I’m sure your heart aches for him.
Claudia, I’m sure your already know this, but with succulents like you have, just pull off one of the pads, stick in the dirt, and within a week or so, it will root and start a new plant. That way, even when the mother plant is too tall and has to be moved, you can still start babies and continue without having to buy all new plants. This is especially nice when you find a plant that you just don’t see often.
And yes, it’s been going on 20 years and I still get misty when I think of our first cat and dog we got when our boys were young, let alone the ones who have come into our lives since. They are so loving and so sweet, and leave a hole. Brings to mind the quote by Erica Jong: “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love, they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog; it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs, your heart is very big.” And I have heard it continued somewhere (but can’t remember where, it just stuck with me), that by the time I am old, I will have the heart of a dog.
I’ve seen that quote about having the heart of a dog. I think some readers sent it to me when Riley died. It’s very beautiful.
I don’t think those holes in the heart ever fully mend…sometimes they just scar over, only to be freshened by memories. Each memory hurts, but also heals a little bit. It made me tear up when I read it, and I have never met your dogs….
Jen
I think scarring over is the perfect way to describe it, Jen. Or maybe scabbing over. Because, though the scab is there, you can easily re-open the wound.
Lovely post Claudia. And, yes, you never get over the loss of a pet. It’s been 2 years now since we lost Maestro, our calico cat whom we raised from the day she was born — feeding her with an eye dropper, letting her sleep on our chests to be warm and hear our heart beats. My husband and I still will turn around thinking we have heard her in the house. We finally rescued a cat a year ago and Tyg is a bundle of energy and a love, but we still miss Maestro (and Midnight before her, and Boots before Midnight, and Kitsy from my youth who, at 25 pounds, looked like a moving black velvet pillow- lol). Pets bring such warmth, love and joy to our lives, it is no wonder we ache with sadness when they age and then depart this life. Love your succulent garden.
Pets are angels, given to us for a relatively short time. Too short, I think.
Their spirits stay with us always. I love my Charlie so much and I dread the time when he isn’t with me anymore. I get tears just thinking about it! Love the dish garden, such a sweet reminder of your boy! Hugs, Linda
Thank you, Linda!
Claudia, I was crying just yesterday while thinking about our Belle, who passed away just two months after my Dad. Somehow I made it through my dad’s funeral, only to absolutely fall apart when we lost Belle. And now today my sister is faced with a grave and probably fatal illness with her dog, Jack. They break our hearts by loving us so completely, but oh, I can’t imagine not having dogs in my life! I love adirondack chairs…my grandparents had them in their backyard and my cousins and I would use the arms as griddles, baking perfect mud pancakes in the sun! Every time I see one I am transported back to happier, younger times. Thanks for sharing such a moving post today. xxoo, Martha
I’m so sorry about your sister’s dog, Martha. xo
It’s hard to type when you are teary-eyed. I still miss my childhood dachshund and that was over 40 years ago when he passed. And, my cat…loved her…still hear her paws padding down the hallway sometimes at nite. Riley’s dish garden is looking quite nice. I just saw a whole bunch of succulents at our nursery the other day…they even had geranium baskets starting in the back…not for sale of course. We got almost two inches of snow last night…just enough to shovel. But, we are looking for 60 by Sunday! Your adirondack chair is summer inspiring…can not wait! ;)
Nothing at our nursery yet, Donna!
I remember each pet we have owned in our 41.5 years of marriage, and how their losses affected us. We still talk about each of them. The last dog we lost a couple of years ago, I swore we would NEVER EVER have another one…. but after about 6 months, life without a pet is lonely and certainly not filled with as much joy as we experience now, with our 2 latest rescues. As any pet owner knows, their love is truly unconditional. When we come in the door, whether it is from putting the garbage at the curb or following a 4 hour shopping trip, they greet us with abandoned joy. Our children are both married, and though happy to see us after a couple of months, the pure joy from the animals can’t be surpassed!! :- )
No, they love you and miss you if you’re gone 5 minutes or five days.
. I have had many animals in my life. But have you had that one dog that was just truly THE ONE that filled you? My Darla was that dog. She died just over a year ago from a tumor on her heart. And I think of her so often, and miss her dearly. She was a boxer rescue who loved every one she met and every one loved her. I have a new boxer girl, Tess. She has some big paws to fill.
My Winston died from a tumor on his heart, too. It’s all so sad. I’m glad you have Tess.
We’ve had many dogs throughout our 41 years of marriage, mostly German Shepherds because early in my husband’s law enforcement career he spent some time as a K9 officer and we loved the intelligence and loyalty of the breed. We lost our last 2 German Shepherds only 9 months apart; the last one just a week or two after Riley. They definitely leave footprints on your heart forever.
Ask your vet about Previcox for Scout’s arthritis. Although personally I much prefer a natural approach over medications whenever possible, Previcox seems to be giving very good results. My daughter is using it on one of her dogs and a two of her horses, and several of our clients who board their horses with us on our horse farm are using it on their horses too. One horse who is over 22 years old had to have his dosage reduced because he was running around like a 2 year old after being on it a short time!
I’ll ask about it, but I’m wary of anything too strong for her. Thanks.
Claudia, I know exactly what you are feeling. We lost our little one to cancer several years ago and I miss him daily. It’s amazing how they can grab hold of our hearts, without saying a single word, and never let go! On the cute note, I love the porch chair! What a fun find!
Thank you, Melanie.
Phideaux, Sparky, Whiskey, Hawthorne, Sterling Jackson, Samantha, Mai, Joey, Buster, Kevin and Fluffy. Ah, yes, I remember them well. Only Louis remains.
Friskie, Shannon, Jason, Amanda, Elyot, Winston and Riley.
Dear Claudia today is a time of reflection for me also. My step father would have been 101 today and though he passed away 27 years ago his memory is very much alive. He could do anything. He taught me that love goes beyond bloodlines. I’m so glad you and Don have such sweet memories. Three days of a nasty virus have had me feeling low but I’m getting better. I know you’re counting the days till Don gets home.
I’m glad you’re feeling better, Janie.
Claudia, it takes me all of about two seconds to start crying at the thought of my first dog, Duchess, a long-haired water spaniel/German shepherd mix. My parents got her right after returning from their honeymoon & I came along about 9 months later. Dad often said I was their SECOND child. I was born in July and after about a month, my mom began setting me outside [well-bundled] in my baby carriage for fresh air on days when it wasn’t raining. Every time, she said, Duchess would trot along beside her and park herself firmly right underneath my carriage as unofficial nanny, growling or barking at anyone who came into the yard that she didn’t know. She went everywhere with us and was, in short, the biggest lovey dog of all time. Even my grandmother, not an animal fan at all [sadly] LOVED Duchess because she was so sweet. We lost Duchess when I was 16 [gulp, 41 years ago] and as I said, it takes me no time at all to dissolve in tears about Duch. So no, you never do get over the loss and quite frankly, I’m not sure I want to know the people who do “get over” the loss of anyone important to them, human or animal. So you cry all you want, whenever you want – and treasure all your Riley and Winston memories.
I will, Janet, thank you.
Just a quick note to say I feel for and with you Claudia. Perhaps it is so unthinkable because the truth of that shared bond does remain eternally alive.My comments by the way are often alive only in my head as I carry along with whatever is calling, but, wishing you well and appreciative of your sharing.
Thank you, Grace.
Luv the garden. Very pretty. I can relate to sadness over loss of a pet. Just yesterday we had to put our 18 year old Terrier mix, Rodney, down. Took him to the vet knowing this was a possibility. They ran blood tests, found him to be in renal failure among other things and told us he would not respond to treatment for these things so there was no choice. While I have 2 other dogs and 3 cats at home the void is still there. He was a Mother’s Day gift 17 years ago from a local shelter when he was 1 year old. One of the hardest parts of owning a pet is knowing this day could come. But I would never be without a cat or a dog.
I’m so very sorry about the loss of your Rodney, Marsha. Know that I’m thinking of you and your family.
I saw a pin the other day that said grief changes us; we never get “over it” — we learn to live with it and to build our new lives around it. I find that comforting in a strange way. I do not need to get “over it”; I am moving forward but I am a different person than I was before my son died this past summer. And it’s the same with our furry family members — they have special places in our hearts that will always be there. We are blessed to be their caretakers.
Yes, I’m a different person since my brother died over 20 years ago. I understand.
We go on, but the loss never does leave us. I teared up reading this, remembering my cocker spaniel who has now been gone for 40 years. Doesnt seem possible that it has been that long, because I remember her as clearly as if it was yesterday that I looked into her always smiling eyes. Hugs to you today.
I love that chair, and the visual of a person in it with their feet propped up on the railing, a glass of tea on the table beside them. Excellent.
When I was mowing the vineyards the other day I stopped to say hello to our dog that is buried there. He used to walk the vineyards with me every day, and I miss him beyond belief. It has been a few years since he left, but when I stopped the other day I just sobbed, the pain of missing him was overwhelming. They really do enrich our lives, we are lucky they love us so much.
I know exactly how you feel about your babies. I lost my Emma 12 years ago. I still think about her, and I often wake from a terrible reoccurring nightmare … I dream that I can’t remember when I last gave her food or fresh water! I wake up in a panic every time, and then am bothered by it for hours.
I feel sadness for all of you who have lost pets since I know how it feels..Riley’s dish looks sweet Claudia..I have been looking for one of those little Adirondack chairs for my Fairy garden Claudia..I think I will have to order one on eBay as I can’t find any locally..
Claudia I love the thought of Scout, Riley and Winston playing together downstairs while you are sleeping upstairs; and that Winston and Riley are still around you, offering comfort when you are feeling their loss the most. I think it happens and that we are never really separated from anything or anyone that we have loved. They are still here, we just can’t see them. When our Bella died suddenly, her mate Ziggy would come into our bedroom, jump onto the bed and sit facing a corner where she always slept on the floor, and he would bark and bark. Or he would be snoozing and suddenly wake up and start barking at the same corner. This went on for weeks until we brought Honey home from a shelter. What a beautiful blessing to have all these wonderful animals in our lives.
Claudia, I can not believe it has been a year and a half since Riley passed away. He was a good dog. You know that Scout misses him also. Blessings to you, xoxo,Susie