We’ll start with the pretty pictures and then I’m going to take a moment to write my feelings about what has transpired during the last three days.
This bee is a wee bit bigger and I managed to snag a picture yesterday.
Pretty hydrangea.
Cabbage moth in flight.
Pretty hollyhocks that I’m going to have to stake today as yesterday’s torrential rains have caused them to sort of fall over.
The past few days here in our country have been heartbreaking. I’m still trying to take it in. This is what I wrote on Facebook yesterday:
It’s all too much. Just a day or so ago, I was despairing the state of the world, the state of our county, the state of everything. So was my husband. “We need to pull away from the news for a while,” we said. “We want to go hide somewhere, live on an island, live off the grid, just get away.” I was all set to take a break from Facebook, where much is discussed and debated and where sometimes I can no longer bear to look at my feed and end up simply wishing whoever is having a birthday a happy birthday as I hurriedly sign off. But here I am again, sick at heart and appalled by two more senseless deaths, two murders of men who are guilty of nothing other than not being white. When will this stop? Yes, #blacklivesmatter. No one should have to fear for his life just because he’s driving a car or is walking down the street or is walking back from the store or is selling CDs or cigarettes on the street. Or is simply living his/her life. What makes me sad is that we even have to have a hashtag for something that is a basic right. We are all one, my friends. We are all one.
And then I wake up this morning to hear the terrible news from Dallas: five police officers were murdered – assassinated – at a peaceful demonstration where they were simply doing their jobs.
When will it end?
#blacklivesmatter – I see a lot of people countering this by saying #alllivesmatter. Of course they do. I understand the impulse and the truth behind that hashtag. That there are lives lost by the thousands every day, everywhere, is not up for debate. And each loss diminishes us, to paraphrase John Donne.
But immediately responding with ‘all lives matter’ weakens the core of a very real and profound plea. Racism exists in this country. It is ugly. It is wrong. I thought we’d come a long way, but my heart tells me we haven’t. Yes, all lives matter, but black lives are especially at risk in this country. Try raising a black child in the USA – especially a male black child. How do you prepare him for the fact that driving a car with a broken taillight can result in his death? Or that a walk down the street in a gated community after running an errand for his mother can result in his death? That being stopped by a cop means that he (or she) is now in danger of losing his life, that pulling out his license can be interpreted as ‘going for his gun.’ That going about his daily life is fraught with danger.
Of course all lives matter. As do the lives of the policemen who were murdered last night in Dallas. As do lives lost to violence, to massacres like Orlando, or Sandy Hook, to domestic violence, to Isis, to genocide, to – well, the list goes on and on. Every loss is heartbreaking and senseless.
But again: I’m talking about something very specific here and I’m not going to weaken it by resorting to that other hashtag. The very fact that we have had to single out a whole segment of our population with a hashtag says something about the state of race relations here in the United States of America in the year 2016.
But we do. Black Lives Matter. Speak out. Change must happen or we will lose the compassion and tolerance and love that should be at the heart of our being.
I’d like to point you toward Design Mom’s post about this. She speaks about this subject with wisdom and passion in a post titled Say Something. You can read it here.
Happy Friday.
Thank you for your words. My heart is aching for all those lives lost and for their families. Violence is not the answer!
No, it is not. Thank you, Marlene.
The world is not at a good place for a lot of people. How much pain people must be feeling.
I can only try to comprehend their pain. It’s all so senseless, Doris.
When I saw the news about the two black men shot my heart was heavy. This morning it is weeping. Why do we have to kill each other like this. I am burdened by the hurt and pain and having trouble dealing with it all. I don’t know what to do to make it better. Your words ring true Claudia and they help.
hugs,
Linda
I feel at a loss, as well. How do we stop this stream of violence? How do we turn hate to love? I don’t know the answer, either. xo
Once again Claudia, I agree with you and appreciate your voice. I live in the Twin Cities where the shooting of Phillando happened; the community is devastated and angry.
This madness will end only when we as a nation take a good hard look at ourselves and work to remove hatred, fear and violence from our hearts and from the collective soul.
I totally agree, Carolyn. Thank you.
Yes, I, too, weep alongside with so many for the loss of grace, compassion and simple kindness to each other that this country has retreated to. Will it ever end? Tired of the mass shootings. Tired of the toxic elections. Tired of seeing people going about their everyday lives not knowing when it can be taken from them simply for the color of their skin.
It must stop.
No parent should have to send their children to elementary, high school or college, only to see their lives taken from them in one moment of a gunman’s insanity. No one should be on an outing with their partner and child only to have their life end over a broken tail light. When I get pulled over for that, I only have to worry about a ticket and points on my license. I never consider that I could lose my life. I only experienced racial hatred personally one time in my life and that one instance scarred me forever. In the 70s and 80s I lived in Woodside, NY, in a predominately Irish neighborhood peppered with a lot of bars. Coming home late one night, a group of drunks mistook me for Spanish (I am Irish, Scottish and French.) They began taunting me with racial epithets, throwing beer bottles at me, screaming the most vile names at me. I ended up on the ground being beaten by this evil crowd. I broke free and ran home. This was just a single episode in my life. I can’t imagine facing that kind of hatred every day. I have so much admiration for those who live with that every day and yet maintain their dignity. I just watched the video of the fiancee of Philandro Castile who was so articulate and spoke with so much clarity. Where did she come up with the strength to call for action, not just for her beloved but for all, after witnessing the brutal unwarranted murder of her partner. I watched a teacher at the school where “Mr. Phil,” worked talk about how involved and beloved he was with the kids with whom he came in contact. She mourned the loss of a male role model that had done so well with his life.
So sad, so sad.
What will it take to make it end?
I don’t know. Castile’s fiancee showed such presence of mind in the midst of unspeakable horror. She is simply amazing. I don’t know if I would have had the strength to do and say what she did. It’s tragic. All of it.
I read Design Mom’s post….and the comments. One in particular from Christina, spoke about an analogy that she saw this morning. I felt it was important…so I copied it here….hope that was ok. This is part of Christina’s comment….
“I saw a really interesting analogy this morning, regarding why the use of the “alllivesmatter” hastag is missing the point, and I thought it provided a lot of clarity (hopefully?) to an argument that a lot of people struggle to understand (why changing the hastag from BLACKlivesmatter to ALLlivesmatter is offensive, or hurtful). The analogy was essentially that you should imagine that you’ve broken your arm, and you go to a doctor for help. And your doctor looks at you and says “Well, ALL bones matter; they’re equally important, so we shouldn’t focus our energy on just ONE.” Yes, OF COURSE, all bones matter – we don’t want any of them to break, or fracture. But right now, that bone in your arm is broken, and it DOES need help – it needs the attention, and the care, that your other bones don’t need right now. You want (NEED) that doctor to focus his attention and resources on the broken part.” (End)
I just felt this needed to be highlighted. I also don’t know what to do…or what to say. But this analogy I felt was perfect…and supports what you were saying as well. I never thought of that other hashtag in this way…but that analogy opened up my eyes. Hope I didn’t break any copy-right laws…don’t need that! ;)
Thank you, Donna. Beautifully expressed and thank you for sharing it here.
I don’t have the words, as you do, Claudia. Thanks for speaking up.
You’re welcome, Wendy.
I agree with you. I just don’t understand what is happening to our country.
I don’t either, Kathy.
Thank you.
I am over sixty and this morning after watching the news I wanted to crawl in bed forever, but I MADE myself go out and take the recycling (in this area of far west Texas you have to drive a bit to get to a recycling bin), go to the library, smile, say good morning and try to be a good citizen in a world that is making it very hard to do so. Thank you for the pictures as well.
I feel much the same way, Melissa. Trying hard in a world that seems to have plunged into madness. Good for you!
Your writing on this subject is so concise and on point that I just want to post “What She Said”. You speak for so many of us. Thank You, dear Claudia.
You are welcome, Dottie.
Agree with your feelings totally. This is not our country. Told my husband that if I were the boss of those cops, I would say, “you feared for your life? Fine, hand me your gun, you are on desk duty for the next 20 years.” We should have no place for cops who fear black people, just because they are black.
Agreed, Jan.
Great post, Claudia. Great comment from Design Mom. And for my two cents, I’m currently recommending Trevor Noah’s recent comment [posted on Twitter & YouTube] which pretty much nailed things for me. His point is that most people are feeling that they need to choose sides, but that in reality – they don’t. You can be pro-black [blacklivesmatter] and pro-police at the same time. That, in fact, this is exactly what’s needed to begin solving the problem. Peace to all.
I saw that earlier today and he’s right. What does one have to exclude the other?
Thank you for writing about this, Claudia. The only “good” thing I can see that may come out of all of this tragedy is that I truly believe that this has been going on for years and years in our country and nothing could ever be proven. It was the white policeman’s word against the black family’s or friend’s word as to what occurred and you KNOW who would win in that scenario. I am about fairness in life and I cannot IMAGINE having my child/friend/relative gunned down in front of me and no one believe how I said it happened. Breaks my heart, but maybe these videos will begin to slow the process of these senseless shootings. I understand policeman have difficult jobs and some instances do call for the policeman to defend himself, but shooting someone who is down on the ground or walking away just cannot be the way they were trained. My thought is if you are so scared of people that your first reaction is to shoot them in difficult or tense situations, perhaps you have chosen the wrong profession…
The videos have changed everything, Brooke. Thank goodness for them. They document the truth. And if a member of the force is so battle scarred that he or she cannot be trusted to find a peaceful way to resolve things – if at all possible – then it’s time to turn in the badge.
I have been a victim of prejudice more than once in my life during a period when I was quite obese (morbidly obese) while I was simply going about my daily business, keeping to myself, doing an errand; driving my car. Taunts, jeers, name-calling in public; so hurtful…but I wasn’t murdered over it. I live in a town that’s 80% Latino but I’ve never felt singled out as a minority (I am non-Latino).
A lot of thoughts are swimming around in my head after troubling sleep last night, having watched the early news coverage about Dallas right before bedtime. I was thinking about my cousin, now deceased, who was a LAPD officer/detective for many years. In the earlier days of his law enforcement career, he worked Vice in L.A. with an alias/disguise and was in very dangerous situations. His wife, a normally easygoing and practical sort of woman, nearly left him because she said, “Every time he goes out the door, I don’t know if it’s the last time I’ll ever see him again.” They had young children at the time.
I’m just feeling so disturbed this morning; so uneasy. We all seem to live with ‘uneasy’ these days, over more than one thing. I want to live on a farm in the 1800s when news of the world was slow to reach me. I don’t like living unsettled and unsure in the 21st century.
I read more indepth headlines before coming here and tears have been streaming down my face. One police officer was ambushed from behind, shot at close range, in the back. Eye for an eye? This is not the way.
How horrible! It’s not the way, it’s never the way. We must move beyond that. I don’t know what else to say. I confess I’m profoundly troubled by all of this.
Claudia, I totally agree with you. Thank you for taking the time to write it down and share with us.
You’re very welcome, Sylvia.
I have not a single thing to contribute. I am ashamed of the behavior and tone in our country.
If I hear ANYONE ask for a moment of silence………. I may lose my mind. The fact that people can stroll down the streets with rifles slung over their shoulder…. legally…. might be a tiny hint that we just MAY have more trouble ahead. Just a thought some people might want to ponder in their moment of silence.
I do not want to hear the words “a moment of silence” – that means nothing, in the end. Agree.
We all matter. I have cried every single day since the Pulse nightclub shootings. I can’t understand why assault rifles are still out there. Some things just make no sense. To be singled out because of skin color is wrong. My oldest brother is a retired law enforcement officer. There’s nothing like the sick feeling when I hear of an officer shooting. My heart goes out to the families of those hurt or killed last night and to those peaceful protesters who did nothing wrong. Even with their own lives on the line the officers kept doing their jobs trying to protect the innocent. It seems like our nation is no further along racially than it was 20 or 30 years ago. It’s devastating.
It’s all so senseless and horrifying on every level. Devastating is the perfect word to describe it, Janie.
It makes me so angry that the very people in our government who should be doing their utmost to help figure this all out are again spending their time arguing about emails. Why oh why don’t they roll up their sleeves and get busy discussing some kind of gun laws and working with law enforcement and black leaders and anyone else who might be able to contribute and actually make an attempt to do something for the good of our country instead of the good of their party. Can you tell I’m very frustrated?
I am too. All this time and energy spent on partisan bullshit instead of helping our citizens.
I couldn’t decide whether I should comment on this. The recent shooting was in my home state of Minnesota. There is a huge problem with everyone speaking out about these horrible events without knowing all of the details or both sides of the story. Policemen do not want to kill people, black or white. They are suppose to be trained to shoot to contain the situation as necessary. In the Mn shooting, if you listen to the policeman that shot Philandro, you can tell by his voice that he was terrified. He, for all intents and purposes, believed he was reaching for his gun. People aren’t wanting to hear that the officer told him not to reach for his gun – doesn’t matter that was where his license was – to that policeman, all he could see was a gun. There are more shootings in the metro area than ever. What happens when the police quit showing up at all? Who are they going to call for help then? Ranee
I understand where you’re coming from, Ranee. The vast majority of police are good and brave and they have a very hard job to do on a daily basis. But there is a racial divide in this country that cannot be denied. There was a child in that car. And his mother. That policeman is taught, or should be taught, how to de-escalate that kind of situation. And it sounds as if there was truly nothing to de-escalate. It didn’t need to happen. Since the victim readily volunteered the information that he had a carry permit, it is hard for me to believe that it had to end this way.
Ask yourself this: would he have been so quick to fire his gun if the man was white?
No one truly knows the answer but the man who shot the gun. And he’ll have to live with the tragic result.
My husband is in the law enforcement field. He told me many years ago that if I was pulled over (this goes for ANYONE), that when the officer asks for your license and registration and you have to reach in the glove compartment or in your purse or anywhere else in the car, to say what you are reaching for. “I am going into the glove compartment for my registration.” “I am opening my purse to get my license out.”
Sad that it has come to that, but that is valuable advice for everyone, Melanie.
To Mel and anyone else who cares… I come from a family of police officers. We treat them with respect as we do firefighters. They put their lives on the line everyday. There are times where they have to make split second decisions. We will probably never have to do anything so difficult.
I have a feeling that many are looking at the news, perhaps from rural areas and only seeing the same footage over and over again. Ugly, yes. Disturbing, yes. But everywhere? No. Come and visit me. Or Baton Rouge. Or Dallas. You’ll see those officers and you will feel a sense of relief.
I don’t believe police officers have a ‘preference’ for who they confront…White, Black, Hispanic, Asian. As we saw in Dallas, these men in blue ran toward the shooting, not away. The people watching in the comfort of their television, feeling sick and sad and disgusted are feeding into the ‘Bad Cop’. Same old, same old. What if their brother were on the streets, or their father…theirs sons.? Whole different story. And God help any of them when they need help in an emergency.
Get rid of the guns. And respect law enforcement. It’s a start.
Amen, Jane.
I am baffled, so sad, and ashamed of what is going on in our country. The violence, racism, hatred, and the extreme political divisions in our country all result in fear- and- fear adds fuel to violence, racism, hatred, & divisions. My tendency is to hide in my books or garden, but that is not the answer, I’m just not certain what to do. It seems no one is willing to listen, we are so quick to pounce on anyone who has a different opinion or view of things. We’ve lost the ability to discuss and debate issues while maintaining respect for people with whom we disagree. It seems like our country is being torn apart by following the example of elected officials who take sides and refuse to work together to solve problems.
I couldn’t put it any better than that, Debbie. Thank you.
My son-in-law is a police officer. In Dallas. If you saw any of the march before the shooting began, he was one of the two bicycle patrol officers leading the march. Wearing reflective gear. On a bicycle. With no protection. When the shooting began, he was in the line of fire. One of his fellow bicycle officers was not as lucky as my son-in-law. He did not emerge with his life. My daughter and I watched this all unfold on television in front of us. Not knowing what his fate was. It was the most horrific feeling I’ve ever experienced. An hour into the shooting, my son-in-law managed to text “I’m fine”. The most beautiful words I’ve ever heard. Today my daughter and I, along with my two grandsons, laid flowers on the memorial in front of Police headquarters. I hugged a police officer and thanked him for what he does. My three-year-old grandson carried his flowers in Wolverine claws from his Halloween costume, which brought smiles to our faces. He doesn’t understand how close he came to losing his daddy that night. But my daughter and I do. Pray for us. Pray for everyone. Black lives DO matter. As all lives do.
Oh, Debra! I cannot imagine how frightened you all must have been. Thank goodness he is safe and well, but I know the loss of his fellow officer must be heartbreaking. That these men were murdered when they were doing their job, protecting others, is senseless and heartbreaking. We have much praying to do and much work to be done. My love to you and your family.