A grudging moment from a girl who usually turns her head away when she sees my camera.
Like Greta Garbo, she doesn’t want to be photographed. No paparazi. She just wants to be left alone.
We are adjusting, all of us, to this time in her life. When does she need help going up and down the steps, when is she strong enough to handle them on her own? How do we handle her sometimes insane pacing and frantic activity in the evenings? How do we know when its okay for her to run a little on her walks and when the better choice is to rein her in? How do we handle the hearing loss? And the little messes that sometimes occur?
With love. Without judgment. With compassion.
We learned that during Riley’s long illness.
We’re finding our way. I used to get very frustrated with that pacing I referred to; constantly jumping up and down the stairs, going into the kitchen, coming back down to the den, over and over and over again, an almost panicked look in her eyes. I’d let her out. She’d pace outside. I’d let her back in. She’d pace inside. I’d lose the thread of whatever I was watching on television. Up. Down. Pace.
I asked myself a thousand questions: is something wrong with her urinary tract? is she constipated? does she hear something outside? is she hungry? is she thirsty? what is she trying to tell me? Finally, just before Don returned home, I did a search online and I read several articles about just this thing. It’s not about any of those questions. It just is.
A fairly common occurrence with very senior dogs, it often happens during the night. With Scout, it seems to be happening in the evenings. I meditated, asked for answers, and got the message, “Just let her be.” Don said pretty much the same thing when he got home and, believe me, it’s much easier to handle all that frantic activity with him by my side. It doesn’t happen every night, but it does happen most nights. It’s part of who Scout is now.
Her hind end muscles are getting weaker – just like Riley’s did. I sometimes hold her up while she eats. I did the same thing with Riley. It depends on the day – often the time of day. But she is remarkably strong for her age. At times, she has the friskiness of a pup. She’ll lope. She’ll gallop. She’ll pounce. She’ll leap up both steps leading up from the den to the living room like a horse effortlessly clearing a jump.
She’ll be 16 in January. She’s the light of my life. She’s the girl who is magical, who is wondrous, who has enriched our lives beyond measure.
I have to work hard at being patient with her at times and it doesn’t always come easily to me. But if I stop and let go of all the other distractions, the things that supposedly are important but really aren’t, and focus on her needs, then it is suddenly quite easy. Because what could possibly be more important than this creature? Nothing.
That’s my goal. It’s a lesson I keep re-learning, one that started with Riley and continues with Scout.
She helps me grow, that girl. She helps me develop patience. She makes me a better person. Or at least, a person trying very hard to be a better person.
She is the great teacher. And I have many lessons to learn.
Happy Wednesday.
(New post with some interesting links up on Just Let Me Finish This Page.)
Thank you for posting this. Thank you for sharing. That’s all I will say now.
Hugs to you all.
xoxo Patricia.
I followed your journey with Riley. Then, my Molly was diagnosed with liver cancer at age 7 and we began our goodbye journey with her. It is so painful to lose a furry baby. Love her and enjoy every minute you have with her. Hugs
I will. I promise. Thank you, Carolyn Marie.
It’s hard getting old. Please give Scout a special pat from me.
I will.
Oh, this part of life’s journey is never easy. It is so good for Dame Scout that she has you and Don with her to help her now. And you two are certainly blessed to have her. Enjoy your time with her…I know you will.
We are very blessed to have her with us.
With Love and Compassion. I am dealing with a few issues with Charlie and I understand. It does test my patience sometimes when he is SO DEMANDING! But then I remember I am his world and if he needs me I need to be there for him and I want to!! I love my boy and I know you love your girl. Aging is not easy but we are lucky we have had them in our lives for so long now. Know that you are all in my heart always.
hugs,
Linda
Thank you so much, Linda. I know you’re coping with many of the same things. We sure love our babies.
My own little dog went through this and we put puppy pads in the porch for a long time . Of course in good weather we carried her down the steps.I think Don is right ….go with the flow and relax. Nidia
That’s what I aim to do, Nidia.
Dear Claudia, I know what you are going through. My bearded collie lived until he was 18 years old, but the last few years were difficult. It does help you set your priorities. I made a commitment to Ralph and knew I had to follow through.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Mary
Thank you, Mary. We are totally committed to our Scoutie.
It is so very very hard. Our 9 year old Greyhound was just diagnosed w/ bone cancer. To have her leg amputated might extend her life by 3 months. We have chosen not to do that. The vets at the UW Veterinary School and our own vet are helping us treat it more organically/ holistically. Just to keep her pain free is our goal. We only have a few months and this is such a difficult time. We have gone through this SO MANY times w/ our many pets over 43 years of marriage… I always swear “never again”, and then, somehow, another one rescues us.
All we can do is relax and enjoy the times we do have ahead and make every day count.
Oh Chris, I’m so sorry. I think I would have made the same decision. Thinking of you and you beloved girl and sending prayers that this time together is a beautiful, loving experience.
Beautifully said…like a true mom. Love and patience will get you thru. ;)
Yes. Patience is something I am sometimes lacking in, but I am determined to be patient with my little girl.
This was a beautiful post. Your love for Scout is evident and inspiring.
We love her with all our hearts. She is our daughter.
It’s so hard to see our furry family members grow old. They do indeed teach us patience and understanding.
My Himalayan cat lived to be 20 years old. I added some nightlights that helped with her yowling at night. You may stumble onto something that will help Scout, too.
We keep a light on in the kitchen, which keeps her area of the house easy to navigate. We’ve been doing that for about a year now.
I’ve been through all of that with my first old dog. Then two years later with the younger one. The first, Taffy, had the pacing, barking out the door, and getting up two or three times a night. Near the end she would sleep for about three hours and then was up the rest of the night. Very trying for me. The second, BeBop, got so she couldn’t walk, so we had to carry her out to do her business. Luckily she was a chihuahua. But when she was not getting better, it was time, and it was no easier the second time around. I figure I am too old for more dogs, but we watch our kids dogs when they go out of town, and for me, that is enough. So I have a few days of doggies every month. I hope Scout rallies and lives another five years in excellent health!
She has good and bad days. The past couple or so have been not so good, but there are other stretches when she’s really feisty and strong.
Good Morning Claudia,
I feel your anxiety! My Calvin is a 14 year old mixed breed and we are going through some of the same things with him. A lot of anxiety at night also. thought and positive energy to you and yours.
Lisa
Same to you and yours, Lisa.
How lucky Scout is to have parents who love her so deeply and will see her through these rough days..She is a lovely lady indeed..and so are you dear Claudia..
Thank you, Nancy. She’s the best girl in the world – that’s what Don and I always say to her.
As I was reading along today I wondered if Scout being a border collie could be a factor. They’re bred to be so active and purposeful – the original “working dog.” Now that it’s becoming more difficult to move as she once did, maybe the ancient conditioning of her breed is contributing to the restlessness and frustration she’s feeling? Must be very hard for her. She knows something’s amiss but she doesn’t know what either. Whatever the cause, that lil girl is very lucky to have a Momma and Poppa who love and care so much. Hope everyone at MHC has a great day.
Well, that’s a possibility, but I do think it’s what happens to a lot of dogs her age. It has to do with a bit of senility and with the night time and being disoriented.
I am right there with you Claudia. Our old guy (almost 16) is going through the same thing. It is very hard emotionally. Many times we are looking to make sure he is breathing, and then later he jumps around like he has all the energy in the world (bacon, bacon, bacon) and you see that puppy you brought home. We cannot imagine life without our Ticho. How lucky we have been to have them in our lives Claudia. Much love to you, Don and Scout.
Same exact thing here, Susan. We check on her breathing. Then she knocks us out with her energy. Then she can hardly stand up. It’s very stressful.
Hi Claudia, we have a 14 year old Sheppard who exhibits the same behavior. My parents both passed way 2 years ago and were in their 90s and had dementia. The both suffered from Sundowners Syndrome, associated with dementia which can cause some of the same symptoms ; pacing, confusion, etc. So now we just say that Lila has “doggie dementia”, ha ha.it seems to fit. :)
Yes, my dad suffered from that when he was in Intensive Care several years ago. He ‘saw’ things and people, he didn’t recognize us, it was very hard to deal with.
I too am having a time with my Lucy who is a 15 year old doxie. This month seems like all we have been doing is going to the vet for one thing or the other and taking meds on a daily basis. She still wants to eat so that is a good sign. All we can do is love them, take care of them and make them comfy until time comes. It is trying at times but I wouldn’t give her up for anything in the world. I know Scout is very lucky to have you and Don taking care of her. Not all critters are so lucky. Bless you all and many hugs
Thanks, Nancy. She has a very good appetite and loves adventure, so she’s hanging in there. Love to your Lucy.
This is such a sweet and loving post, Claudia…you’ve touched my heart…
Thank you, Linda.
I am so very sorry, Claudia. I have been down your road a few times and it is not an easy path to navigate…and always in the back of your mind is the “when”? When will she? When shall I? When shall we? When is it time? Oh- I don’t envy you going through this again. I remember your last sweet baby, too. xo Diana
I miss that boy every day, Diana. He was such a wonderful, sweet boy..
Claudia, My heart aches for Scout. It is so hard to think of pets aging and going thru so many health issues. I think they act like puppies some times…just as some older people act childish. You are a wonderfully patient owner. Blessings to all of you. xoxo,Susie
Thank you so much, Susie. I’m so glad our little family is all together once again. It sure helps!
Spoken like a devoted Mom!
Definitely a devoted mom, Pat!
We’re never too old to learn, Claudia..They are great teachers..
They are indeed, Missy.
My mother suffered from Alzheimer’s Disease. She experienced sundowning and I got to thinking about your dog’s similar behavior. Here is part of an article that I just read…
By accident, I stumbled on a Newsweek article (Jan. 31, 2000), “Coping with Darkness,” revolutionary new approaches in providing care to people with Alzheimer’s. The article described how Alzheimer’s patients can become increasingly agitated at the end of the day, and how light is especially important to them in the late afternoon and early evening. Although Fromer hadn’t been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s—dogs also suffer from this disease—the early nights of winter had brought on a behavior in my dog that exactly matched the symptoms of some Alzheimer’s patients.
Now I had a name for what I’d been observing: sundowning. And a definition: According to Harvard Medical School, Department of Psychiatry, sundowning is a syndrome in Alzheimer’s patients of recurring confusion and increased agitation in the late afternoon or early evening. A sundowner is a patient who sundowns.
One antidote to sundowning is increasing the light to eliminate frightening shadows.
Maybe increasing the light in your home would help. Just a thought….Balisha
Thank you, Balisha. I am lamp crazy and have them on starting at about 3 pm. There are some shadows in the den where we spend our evening hours, so maybe I can add another lamp. That’s a good idea.
I admit that I shed a few tears after reading this about Miss Scout. It is truly amazing how much love we have for our pets. I have gone thru this same thing three times already since we were married (50 years ago next Friday) and it never gets any easier. I always say never again but a new love always comes into our lives. Our new baby is just over a year old and now I worry about her outliving us! Our children will take care of her I know but I still worry. Scout has been your faithful companion for a long time and she will never truly leave you because she will always live in your heart and memories. Please give her a nice snuggle from me and tell her how much she is loved by so many people.
I will pass on your loving words to Scout, Dorothy. And Happy Anniversary, my friend!
I’m praying for that sweet Ms. Scout – thank goodness she has you and Don to love and care for her as she ages and needs more assistance. You are truly wonderful ‘parents’ to her, just as you were to Riley.
Hugs – Mary
We love our babies, Mary and would do anything for them.
Poor Scout. I found this difficult to read.
Have you considered a “Thunder Shirt?” Might help her feel a bit more “secure.” I have friends who swear they help their dogs anxiety but they are using them on much younger dogs. And if she has some type of “sundowners” as my dad did with his dementia, it may not help.
16 years you’ve been blessed with her..that’s amazing. I had a Black Lab that lived for 14 years but because I raise the big boys, Great Danes, Newfoundlands, they have a much shorter life span. 8 years or 16 years….it’s always hard when they become unwell.
My heart goes out to you and I’ll pray for happy days for Scout.
On a different note, how did you attach your mini plates to your dollhouse walls?
I have thought of you and Scout a lot recently as we have been nursing our 9 year old black Lab after she sufferes an FCE – a spinal embolism. Like Scout, her back end needs support. After a week at the specialty vet, she was sent home witha “Help ‘Em Up” harness” which was great. However, she did develop a sore from it after a month, so we are now using a towel sling. If you haven’t already tried this, you might find it helpful.
My sister has my dog’s sister, a chocolate Lab. I told her today about how you bought runners for Scout so she was more secure walking on the hard floor. Her dog has developed a fear of walking on their hardwood floors. I told her how cute those Target rugs were!
You are a great pet parent. I know it is not easy and a lot of people don’t “get it” – but a lot of people do. Hang in there!
Ahhh Claudia – and Don….. how these precious pets of ours pierce our soul beyond our own understanding. They have such dignity, such unspoken love. I think of you all so often and really understand the bruise of loss. Our life is different without our Fiona. Claudia, Fee was to me like Scout is to you. I am glad that you were told to let her be her. That is something that, as humans, we really need to recognize – and with that, practice patience.
Big hugs to you all……