Hello, friends.
I’m back from the city. It was an intense weekend; wonderful, heartbreaking, and everything in between. Having my sister with us for three days was a blessing. It would have been a blessing no matter what, but it kept us from getting too morose. We talked a lot, the three of us, and we are so comfortable with each other that we can say pretty much anything. We also laughed a lot. I needed that.
Don took this photo of us. I really love it. I really love her.
Don and Mere in Bryant Park. Don really adores my sister. He has good taste.
The carousel in Bryant Park, which is utterly charming. I had to show you the bunny.
Mere and me in the Community Garden.
Saturday was like a day in August. It was close to 90 degrees and unbelievably humid. Even my Florida-dwelling sister was over it. We had breakfast together that morning at the diner, Don went off to his matinee, and Mere and I took the subway down to Soho. Purl Soho is there, a very well-known yarn and fabric shop.
She? She’s very happy to finally visit Purl Soho.
Mere has been on a yarn diet for a while now, but she treated herself to some yarn that she couldn’t find anywhere else, for a pattern, I believe, that she got from their website. It’s a gorgeous shop with impossibly high ceilings and a very creative staff. I’d been there before, but it had been several years.
These hoops are just inside the door.
They’re filled with Liberty of London lawn fabric – the same fabric that is used for the dress on the Maggie Rabbit I made for myself and for Mere. I have plans to make a couple more, plus another stuffed kitty in Alicia Paulson’s line, so, even though we were about to leave, I turned around and went to the back of the store and purchased some.
That fabric is so smooth and silky. Simply gorgeous. I’ll show you the fabric patterns another day.
We tried walking around Soho, but it’s so ridiculously trendy and expensive these days that there really wasn’t any other shop we wanted to visit and we were so uncomfortable in the humidity that we headed back to the apartment, where we cooled off and talked about anything and everything.
Then we headed to the theater. The show was fantastic, as always. This time, though, it was both glorious to watch and heartbreaking as well. As I said on IG, I’ve been working in the theater for over 40 years and my resume is as long as your arm. I’ve never, never seen any show inspire such joy as this one does. I’ve never seen an audience respond in this way. It makes a difference in people’s lives. They come back again and again.
It should not be closing. That it is closing is a travesty.
Don kept this a secret from us. Jimmy was there for the curtain call.
He played Margaritaville (and we all sang along) and also did a wonderful duet with Alison Huff of Come Monday. Meredith was thrilled. She loved the show, she loved the cast – especially Don, of course – and she had a great time. I watched her reactions throughout the show and it was clear that she was delighted with the entire experience.
We went backstage to wait for Don and Don told us to follow him and, suddenly, there was Jimmy.
Yes, I finally got to meet him! So did Mere. He’s a great guy.
We went out for a bite to eat with Don and went back to the apartment and then it was Sunday and Mere had to leave. So did I. I dropped her off in the taxi line outside of the Port Authority Bus Terminal so she could cab it out to LaGuardia. I went inside and got in the bus line and headed home, where I found myself crying for the entire bus ride. It was the first time I’d had to myself where I didn’t have to pull it together for everyone, and it hit me. I couldn’t stop crying.
I cried again this morning. And I’ll keep crying.
Happy Monday.
Oh dear, what a rollercoaster weekend you’ve had! A good cry is well deserved. I’m betting that some of those tears can’t decide whether they are happy or sad ones. so many blessings—won and lost—to pack into such a short time.
Thank you, Shanna.
How wonderful you were able to spend the week-end with 2 of your favorite people enjoying New York as well. Your sister is adorable and you both look so happy to be together. Thanks for the photos, especially of the New York Library. I always loved seeing it in the movie “Breakfast At Tiffany’s”. I’m sorry your heart is broken right now. The tears will cleanse you. Just think you’ll have your wonderful Don with you soon. But at the same time, I guess you just have to grieve right now. You can look at your blessings in between, which I know you will from following you. Your an upbeat gal with many interests. Yay! Sending blessings!
I have more photos from the library that I’ll post this week, Lyndia. Thank you.
Sisters are a fabulous thing – like built in best friends. I am so sorry and sad for you and Don about the show closing. It’s hard to come up with something uplifting and comforting to say – it just plain sucks. Sending positive energy that it opens up something even better for the two of you.
It does suck. Perfect way to say it, Andrea.
What a wonderful weekend with your sister – I love the pics – you two resemble each other very much. While it is so sad that the show is closing, you got to experience it this time with your sister and top off the event by meeting Jimmy. Cry, let it out. All will be well again.
Thank you, Karen.
Crying is cathartic; crying is good.
Yes, it is, Brenda. Thank you.
I cried all day when you told us the show was closing. It truly does not make sense.
I am so glad Meredith got to come to New York! Meeting Jimmy Buffett? Thrill of a lifetime!
I am going to say that going to Purl Soho may have beat seeing Jimmy, possibly!
I have said it many times, you and Don are the most amazing people. The adventures you have, the things you have accomplished, just blow my mind sometimes. You both have touched so many, many people. I hope you both know the world is a better place with you in it.
Hugs to you both
Thank you so much for your kind words, Debbie.
Given the circumstances … A good cry can be very cleansing. All in all , by all your lovely photos & your post you had a good time all things considering?
Did you by any chance make it back to the Clinton Community Garden with Mere? This can also be very therapeutic for the soul.
– xo
– A.
PS … I should’ve tagged you on Instagram last night. I was a tad tired from being in the garden pre-rain today planting as much as we could pack into a day! Let’s just say morning came to darn early today! L.O.L
Yes, the second picture of me is captioned as being taken in the Community Garden.
It sounds like a wonderful weekend. Be thankful for the wonderful family and good times that you have and are able to experience. There is always something else to come down the road. I hope that it is just as wonderful if not even better. Hang in there. Keep smiling.
I’m always thankful and I express that repeatedly on the blog and in my daily life.
Absolutely. I know you do. I admire that in your writing.
Just agreeing that it is the only thing you can do when something changes unexpectedly.
You always are so encouraging and it is difficult to know you are going through this unexpected change with the show.
I was trying to be encouraging back to you.
I’m just not as good at it as you are.
Oh, yes you are, Audrey! And thank you for the encouragement. I’m a bit close to the edge, emotionally, so forgive my writing. I didn’t express it well. xoxo
What an emotional roller coaster! Glad you can cry.
Thank you, Kay.
Just another sucky thing happening in a series of so many sucky things lately. Crying sometimes is seriously the (best & only) answer. I hope it was and is a good cleansing cry. It does so much good.
It looks like you and Meredith had a wonderful time together. I bet Little Z and the 2 pupsters leaped all over her when she got home!! Glad you had the time together.
Sometimes the mundane chores of a regular day can be cathartic, also. So, I wish you a mundane Monday, with time to just sit and ponder, do a walk around to see all the new blooms, and cry if need be. ♡
I have to run some errands. And I mowed a bit when I got back home last night. Trying to keep it together here at the cottage. Thank you, Chris.
Oh, Claudia, I feel for you. Sometimes life just plain sucks. But sometimes a good cry is just what needs to happen. And Purl Soho! Now you have such great memories of sharing the city with your sister.
Thank you, Kay.
I can only echo what the other commenters have said. Rejoice for you on your family and commiserate on the show. Thank goodness we are moving into the growing, outdoor season.
Thank you, Polly.
Oh, Claudia, I’m so sorry. You’ve made tears spring to my eyes, too. It was a lovely, poignant few days for you with your family. Not every loss is the loss of a beloved human or pet; it’s these other things of life, too. It’s a withdrawal and a grieving period in just a different degree. Any ending can be hard.
I don’t always mean to share a similar story but there’s a beautiful cemetery where I live which is undergoing transformation in terms of needing to make space for more graves to sell, to keep the cemetery viable and fund the endowment for continued care/maintenance. In the tranquil section, older section of this cemetery where I have 13 members of my family at rest, undisturbed since 1963, they’ve pulled up the lane adjacent to our curbside family plot and built a towering columbarium. I fear they’ve damaged the tree which has shaded our plot ‘forever’. Many other graves will be packed in like sardines on this stretch of north-south (former) road/lane (to our east-west gravesites); the columbarium butts up to my uncle’s grave and I went about 10 days ago to find they drove a measuring stake right into the head of his grave at the center edge of his headstone/marker, which I felt was beyond disrespectful of the dead although I realize they’re under construction.
The worst part is that, selfishly I guess, I’ve lost a serene and comforting, quiet space where I’ve been going with my parents as a child; it’s where I could (before) park at isolated curbside, look at the view of the mountains and valley, feel the breeze, pray, meditate, reflect; center myself. Have unmarred ‘alone’ time, necessary to my being. Now, after construction, it will be filled with the most recent graves, very dense, lots of visitors (and some here have no etiquette; they prop up chairs on graves, bring picnic hampers; music; my contention is, it’s not a public park, it’s a sacred place) – – and it’s a long walk for me, on uneven lawn and a slope, to get to the plot from where I now have to park, which isn’t always easy for me due to my health.
I have wept, unendingly. Have not been able to come to terms with any of it. I raced to make plans to move my deceased parents’ remains to another cemetery although I’ve now taken a step back from that. I’ve written letters, not sent. Trying to get calmer. I had a combative ‘in-your-face ‘conversation’ with a cemetery salesman who made the very wrong move to approach me about buying one of the new ‘graves’ as my husband and I placed flowers on Mom’s grave on Mother’s Day.
I have lost my special place but my deceased loves one have lost theirs, too. It’s ruined forever and I’d prefer never to have to go back there, although I have a responsibility as the only family member left in town. I have to watchdog it somewhat. I’ve lost a lot of time to the anger, resentment, disappointment, sense of utter unfairness when there were several other places in the cemetery of 25 acres where they could have done this; I haven’t adapted to the change at all. It has made me so, so sad.
I can’t know what you’re going thru exactly, yet I understand, Claudia. I do. You will be ready for Don to come home, though. It will be okay. Promise. If I could be there, I think we’d be giving each other a big hug. Thinking of you…
I’m sorry to hear this. Hang in there.
Claudia, I’m sorry this from me went all off-topic. You are suffering right now; this is about you and Don. It isn’t the time for me to be running on and on about my cemetery woes. I had only meant to illustrate that when, in a not good way, certain things change and end that have been important to us, it’s loss. And what can we do with loss but grieve it; reboot, adjust, then accept. It’s more than one phase of emotion, in my experience. You’re in the loss phase, from what I’m thinking; I’m glad you’re crying it out; I think it’s a stage you have to go thru right now. You’ve had tremendous disappointment and this has thrown a wrench into the machinery; altered yours and Don’s plans. In time, you’ll make new plans. But, right now, you’re allowed to be pissed!
to vicki …
i am sorry for what you’ve had to deal with at the cemetery. is there a cemetery board with whom you could speak about the problems they’ve caused? hope it gets better than it might look/ feel right now. wishing you peace …
kathy in iowa
Thank you, kathy… you are always so kind.
We’re an economically-deprived, poverty-stricken town (not everything in coastal SoCalif is “Malibu/Hollywood”). They’ve tried to attract business/industry here for years to no avail. The town is dying. There are no jobs. We’ve lost our hospital and our fire department to the county; I’m sure police are next. A church is closing that’s been here for well over 100 years – – it started with a circuit preacher in the 1800s. Other churches have had to leave or merge and share space as congregations dry up. Main Street has struggled for more years than I can even guestimate. We can’t even repair our streets.
I studied and studied more about cemeteries (I’ve been very uneducated about how they operate as a business) and was shocked to learn of so many who run out of money to where their upkeep is left to municipal authorities/city who then say their coffers aren’t full, so then don’t provide any upkeep either; all across America, there are abandoned cemeteries covered by prairie grass or forest, like lost cities deep in the Amazon jungle. Or, in a more urban environment, they fall victim to vandalism; litter; weeds.
I haven’t been able to find out about a board here, and I don’t think there is one actually; I’ve been dealing with a location manager since early-Sept of 2016 and she & I had a ‘verbal’ on it back then (face-to-face conversation, I’m afraid with me wailing), when they first chained off the road/lane, and I sent a to-the-point letter to her afterward, copying my dwindling relatives on it. My remaining family wasn’t interested enough to take up the ’cause’; all are out of town. (They’ve wisely left!)
My husband thought I should do a letter-writing campaign to the tiny newspaper’s Letter to The Editor; advertise what they were doing because a lot of people just don’t know. When all this started, though, I had a terrible fall on my head right after I talked to the manager and wrote my letter of complaint (it was all in the same week) and I’m still dealing with the effects of that fall; have had two CT scans and a recent brain MRI because I can’t seem to lose the headaches; I’m afraid it took the fight out of me (I was also in a car accident several months later) and I was too overwhelmed to keep ‘at it’ with the cemetery’s manager. I’m just not my ‘full self’ and I, well, have a slew of other health issues which take dominance.
Since then, too, although this is more recent, I’ve really, really tried to understand the cemetery manager when she says they are running out of room to bury people. They’ve got to come up with as many burial places as they can. Once they are full and have no more graves to sell, endowments run low til they’re gone. So, no more money ‘in the kitty’. No income either; nothing to sell. Who then will pay for the water to keep the lawns green, the sprinklers working, the lawns mowed, the graves maintained, etc. It’s not a great scenario. No way would our little cemetery or my city have the money to buy more land for more graves; and the adjacent ranch is for sale; the owner has died. If that farm family had been interested in donating any land to the cemetery, it would have had to happen a few years back.
Anyway, I have felt so defeated. The columbarium was a unwelcome surprise in just the past six weeks or less. This huge octagon thing. And then smaller versions of it from the bottom of the hill all the way to my family plot. I think the only casket graves will be from out plot to the top of the hill. Bottom line, even more density of burial spaces then we were led to believe. The location manager never mentioned columbariums in previous discussions. We thought it was all going to be casket-graves, not cremains.
My husband and I talk about it all the time (he doesn’t like any of this either; it’s not a small change, it’s a massive change) and, coincidentally, we were just talking about it tonight before I came back to the blog here and he said, “Vicki, it will be different for us but eventually we’ll get used to it somehow. It’s too bad it’s RIGHT next to our family plot but they ARE making it ‘garden-like’ and pretty so that it will SELL which is the whole point. It’s one of the things in life we have to quit bucking, let them do what they need to do. It’s been a big shock but we have to move on. We had no foot traffic there for 55 years; we were lucky and it felt so private & spacious. But not all those new graves will fill up at once. It’ll be a gradual transition. And the gentle breeze will still blow there on the hill, the mountains aren’t going away, the palm trees will still sway.”
He said this quietly with utmost sincerity. Always the voice of reason.
sad for you and your family, your little town …
i can understand that cemeteries are, for the most part, run as a business as you described, but goodness, i hope if there’s ever any financial/other troubles for them that the city would be required to step in and do right for its citizens (both living and passed on) by making sure the place is kept up, respected and protected …
best wishes for good things to come your way.
kathy in iowa
Thank you.
Vicki…I am shocked at the cemetery salesman trying to sell you new graves while you were placing flowers on your mother’s grave…that is just reprehensible behavior…I would have been at their office door the next day with a complaint! Hugs
Yeah, my husband said after the salesperson left, “Whoa, she didn’t know she was going to encounter an angry beehive when she walked up to you today.” I know I sound like a too-weepy, emotional person but it WAS Mother’s Day and I miss my mom. We were having a private moment, my husband and I. It was Sunday, for Pete’s Sake; a holiday. It was the closest I’d been to the foundation of this ‘surprise’ columbarium they’ve since erected with a big crane (my husband had to help me with the walk; a construction zone); I was in utter despair, at that moment, over the whole mess. The last thing I wanted was to have my privacy interrupted by some salesperson hotfooting it over to me with a sales brochure.
I am actually a peace-loving person who is not confrontational and I hate conflict but, man, I let her have it. My husband tried to salvage the situation because he took it as an opportunity to show her that my mom’s grave needs to be lifted; she’s with Grandma and it’s sinking. The salesperson took a photo of it and said she’d put in a work order. So, I’m waiting for that ‘job’ to be done (I don’t want anything to sabotage it) but, believe me, my letter to the location manager has been sitting here waiting in the computer, ready to be sent, since that day.
Yes, it was a completely inappropriate thing for a salesperson to interrupt us at a gravesite. They were tooling around in golf carts and going up to people; of course there were a lot of families and people at the cemetery on such a special day. This tells me how desperate our cemetery is to make money; again, their endowment must be dangerously low. There are never cemetery employees there on a Sunday; the office is normally closed. They were clearly trying to take advantage of an opportunity where they could hit up a lot of people at once. But it was graceless; wrong.
And, a pet peeve, does anybody follow cemetery etiquette anymore? I was taught at home and in elementary school, because we visited the Tomb of The Unknown Soldier on Memorial Day, that you avoid walking on a grave, don’t step on a gravemarker, don’t ever walk at the head of a grave, always instead at the foot of a grave. Etc. This cemetery worker walked right across all our family graves. Then stood there talking to me, essentially on my uncle’s head if you will. Does it matter? Just a bunch of dead bodies. But, c’mon. RESPECT.
I see this now that the cemetery is getting fuller and fuller – – people all over graves that aren’t theirs. Tailgating, I kid you not. Kids playing ball. Pitching pop-up canopies, setting up 8 or 10 chairs, sitting on graves not their own; it’s what I fear now for our family plot. I’ve complained plenty. But as they’re working and doing this construction, I also watched a bulldozer back up to get to another lane, running over grave after grave after grave (flat markers, but you don’t think that could be damaging, with the weight of that machine?!!).
I’ve had to stop going. I’m taking a hiatus from the cemetery. It’s driving me nuts, as you can see. They’re trying out weekend security but I imagine it’s very costly, so that won’t last long. At least they close the gates at sunset.
Thanks for the hug, Nancy.
Claudia, I’m glad you had a chance to cry in private and get some of that tightness out of your system. We all need a way to. Unburden on a regular basis. I know you are, at your core, a positive person, so I know you are able to dig out a bit of joy and happiness, then a little more, then a lot more, to bury the sadness you feel now. We are all here in your corner, rooting you and Don on, as we know that good things are around the corner. Don will always relish the time he has had with ETM. Your memories of how much exuberance Don got from his experience will always bring a broad smile to your face.
What a wonderful weekend with Meredith and Don! Purl Soho is on my bucket list. But, when we get to London this summer, we’re making our trek to Loop and Liberty of London. I’ll toss my clothes to the wayside if I need room to carry yarn and fabric home! Haha, not really, I’m bringing a large duffle in addition to my suitcase.
Thank you, Wendy.
If I was your neighbor I would bring over a blender full of margaritas and a CD and we could invite over more people and we could watch the sunset and sing and sing and sing. It will all be better than ever!!
Thank you, Tana.
I’m so sorry. and I’m late in seeing this post and replying.
but it just pisses me off.
not a nice lady like word I know. but I’m ANGRY. and frustrated and helpless.
that’s how I feel. and to think that the cast has to try to forget the news and still perform.
it’s like knowing you’re going to be hung at noon but the night before you have to give it your heart. and of course they WILL. because they are professionals. and it’s the code of the theatre. but it’s ludicrous!
all due to some high hat snobby NY critic with the ‘power’ to destroy. to plant a seed of doubt.
and destroy he/she did. it’s all about money. it probably always has been.
and if they can convince enough people to think the way ‘they’ do… they wield their stupid power.
but you’ve BOTH had this wonderful experience! and they can never take that away from you.
sending you love! xoxo
I’m also angry. I’m a lot of things at the moment and I go back and forth between all the different emotions.
Thank you, Tammy.
XO
xo
I know you had a great weekend with Meredith…just as I know you are heart broken. There are lots of cliches I could say…none would do any good. I suppose the best thing to do…cry…and work. And repeat. You and Don will get through this, too. We have to snap up the joyful moments to help us get through the rough ones. Hopefully, this weekend has provided enough joyful moments to help. Sending hugs! ;)
Thank you, Donnamae.
Claudia I’m so sorry such a fantastic show is ending. I’m also sorry your reliable income is temporarily ending. You and Don always seem to bounce back so no doubt you will!
I am curious about who decides the show is ending. I’m in the Midwest and know nothing about Broadway and how the business is run but I can live with that. The people involved seem to have high opinions of themselves.
You and Don are such an inspiration!
The producers have to make that decision based on ticket sales, if they’re breaking even and what the forecast is for future ticket sales. It costs an enormous amount of money every day to put on a Broadway musical. If the ticket sales aren’t bringing in enough money, eventually a decision has to be made. The producers of this show are wonderful people and very compassionate. They were crying when they had to make the announcement. They’ve all lost money in this, so there are no winners.
The only people that seem to have high opinions of themselves are the pretentious critics.
Thanks for the explanation. YES the critics are the worst. They sound like jealous little brats. It is still heartbreaking.
It is.
What a lovely weekend with your sister, one you will remember. But what a crying shame that they are closing the show. I’m not surprised you had a good cry, I’d cry too, such a loss.
Thank you, Christine.
Such a lovely weekend with Don and Meredith. I’m sorry for the disappointment/anger/frustration about the show closing. It does seem so wrong to me when it brings such joy in a time when we need it more then ever. I hope your feel better soon. Hugs!
It’s just not selling enough ticket, thanks, no doubt to the cruel reviews. Thank you, Linda.
But at least once it tours, they’re expecting a greater response, right? Like it’ll be regionally(?) popular, not just with parrotheads. Accessible to more people across America than just New York/Broadway. It did well in NOLA, Chicago; correct? How long do you think it would tour, like a whole year 2019-2020? I don’t know how that sort of thing goes. Very ignorant of the process. I tried to read a little about it; I guess some tour as an original full cast but very oftentimes not, and the sets are different, too, because of being on the move. Anyway, so frustrating; too many unknowns. Sigh. It really leaves you and Don up in the air right now.
So glad you,Don and Meredith had a good time and made many memories. How lucky to meet jimmy Buffet. That yarn store looks so inviting. I love to buy yarn. I have a lot of it but never seem to have time to knit. Meredith is lovely. You look similar. I was hoping you would have news that the show was given a reprieve. I guess I am too optimistic and or naive concerning show business. Claudia, hopefully Don will have another show and or job in the near future. I will keep good thoughts for Don.
Marilyn
Thank you, Marilyn.
hi, claudia.
i know you know this already, but tears are a good release of thoughts and feelings (toxins, too) that we maybe can’t or don’t want to share in words. and given the stresses of your tough, seemingly-never-ending winter, don being away from home, the vagaries of freelancing and the meanness of some reviewers, well … i am glad you could let the tears out.
and that you, don and meredith spent a lovely weekend together (heat and humidity aside).
and that you and jimmy finally met! hope someone took your photo together and shares it with you. the photos of you and your sister are especially sweet.
hope you can take time to just be … and know everything will work out fine.
keeping you, don, the rest of your family and the cast and crew of “etm” in prayers.
kathy in iowa
I don’t think anyone took my picture with Jimmy. I didn’t even think of it at the time!
I don’t know what to say that hasn’t been said Claudia…just know that my thoughts and hopes are with you both…and thanks for taking us along for the ride…it was great!
Thank you, Nancy.