I’m still at the cottage.
I didn’t go into the city on Sunday because I wasn’t feeling well. Sinus/allergy crap. We decided to wait a day, but I was still under the weather yesterday, so – though disappointing – I stayed home. NYC takes a lot of energy and I didn’t have enough on hand.
I’m going in next weekend, though, and soon Don will be home. Time is flying. This is a tough time for everyone in the show. After talking to Don about it, I called it The Long Goodbye. They know it’s closing, but it’s still running. Every show is bittersweet. Don will miss his life in the city, of that I’m sure. On the other hand, he’s tired and emotionally drained and he longs to be home.
The day after closing, they fly to Washington DC to do A Capitol Fourth on PBS. It’s now going to be PR for the tour instead of the Broadway run, which doesn’t start for over a year and, most likely, will not involve most – if any – of this cast. So it’s all very strange and topsy-turvy. Then Don will come back to the city and we’ll pack up and be out of the apartment on July 8th.
I have to work on anger, resentment, and jealousy. Anger that it’s closing. And resentment and jealousy come to the surface when I see other shows heading for long runs – shows that I don’t get, am not drawn to, and am flummoxed as to their popularity. Anger also about the treatment of Jimmy Buffett, who isn’t taken seriously and is clearly considered an ‘outsider’ by many in the Broadway community – reminding me of cliques and high school.
Oh, and anger at the mean-spirited critics. On the other hand, there were reviews that were glowing and I’m grateful for them and for the audiences who stand and cheer and sing along every performance.
It’s all stuff that will fade in time, but I have to do my part to let it go.
I wanted a long run for Don, who loves his role, loves the show. We’d hoped to finally get ahead financially, but that isn’t going to happen – at least not with this show. That’s tremendously disappointing for us.
Perspective. That’s what’s needed. And I’ll find it. I always do.
Thanks for listening.
(I’ve edited this a bit. Some opinions that I have should be kept to myself!)
Happy Tuesday.
I may not always have the right words, but I will always listen. My heart is broken over this whole thing.
I hope you feel better soon.
Hugs for you and Don.
I will, thank you Debbie.
Sorry to hear that ETM is coming to an end. Critics? I read reviews but form my own opinion. Critics get paid to be critical. They just don’t phase me.
Hopefully when the dust settles you will see the positives, the clouds will lift & the sun will shine.
You & Don will come through this together. :)
Peace,
Monica
There are a lot of positives and Don and I are already talking about them.
I’m sorry . It is certainly a difficult time for you both. Sudden change and upheaval are never easy to deal with. Hopefully, new doors will open very soon!
Fingers crossed.
So sorry about the closing of ETM. Your home is looking so beautiful. Please take care of yourself and feel better soon.
I will. Thank you, Rose.
I’m just very sad for Don, the cast & crew and for you. My sweet friend, this is a hard time. I would have anger, resentment (peeked at some of the Tony awards and was NOT impressed with some of the shows shown) and sadness. Life is such a roller coaster and this is a big dip for you. Sending healing thoughts your way, oh and hugs, always hugs!
I guess it’s like the stages of grief. We have to go through them to come out on the other side. Thank you, Linda!
I agree with you about the venue thing – who the heck determined that it would be there??
I watched the Tonys on Sunday night (I always do), and it was dismaying to me to see how so many shows were either revivals (fine in small amounts, but come on!), Disney, or TV shows made into Broadway musicals. I’m not saying that everything has to be original and brand new, but I wish more things were quality rather than merchandising.
OK, I’ll shut up. But know that I am thinking only good thoughts for both of you. Take care.
I know. The past several years, there have been a lot of revivals and all sorts of Disney stuff made into musicals. Very little original or new work. The Band’s Visit is an exception and I’m so happy it won so many awards. And lots of juke box musicals, like Beautiful and the new Donna Summer musical, etc. I suppose ETM could be considered a juke box musical, except it’s not the story of Jimmy. Beautiful and Summer and others are bios of the artists.
Hope you feel better, Claudia.
Thank you, Cara.
I know I am to listen, not tell you my story but it relates, we were involved in a business deal that a very bad man sidetracked. It cost us a potential big sum of money. I was so angry at B. for years. He is finally getting his ….he has been sued and lost, his wife kicked him out and he lost contact with his child. This reversal of his life doesn’t make me feel good…..my husband was able to let things go long ago.
I have to let things go and I will. We have no choice, in the end.
Just to add, we were young enough to keep working and growing financially. Events that change one’s life …
We aren’t young and time is limited. Ah, well. Thanks, Gayle.
Sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well. It sounds like quite a few misguided decisions were made by the people who are in charge. Things totally out of your (you and Don’s) control. The ‘not being able to control’ is what always trips me up. I am sorry about the circumstances of this whole thing. So many dashed hopes and dreams for so many.
I know you will recover from this…it’ll just take time. Hope you will feel better…sending hugs! ;)
Actually, I don’t think there were many misguided decisions. I’ve gone back and edited the post, Donnamae, because those are just my opinions and what, in the end, do I know? The producers and everyone involved are wonderful, knowledgable people and they know a heck of a lot more about putting on a show than I do. Thanks!
Point taken! ;)
I didn’t want anyone from the company to read my theories – I never know who is reading this blog! xo
Oh, gosh, Claudia. All the things you talk about in your post make me think about my sons, both in the arts–one a musician and the other an artist/animator. I often wonder how and where they get the courage to live daily with the hope and despair that are always present when you make your livelihood by your artistic talents. In the end, you and Don still have each other and the wonderful home you’ve created together. It’s the home where you will be able to comfort each other and regain the optimism and strength you will find again to go on taking those artistic “leaps of faith.” I wish you both the best in this difficult time.
Working in the arts as a freelancer is very, very hard. It’s such an iffy profession. I think of all the actors I know who got television pilots that weren’t approved. Or who had a series, only to see it cancelled after the second episode. Sigh. I think all artists and freelancers are very brave, Kay. Thank you.
We were watching the Tonys too and were not impressed by some of the material on stage. Fantastic, the high school singers representing the drama department. Boring and where have I heard similar music and vapid songs, well, some of the others that were showcased. Really? Those were nominated? I’m glad they didn’t win many awards…. the songs weren’t memorable and I like to come out of a show humming the songs, or singing along quietly as I watch. I’m sure ETM would have done that for me. I’ll look forward to the ETM coming to my area…hopefully it will. Meanwhile, I know Don will be returning to a cozy comfy home capable of illuminating happiness. …a wonderful quiet place to regroup, contemplate and plan.
There’s a lot of generic ‘same old’ music on Broadway. There’s also gorgeous music. And then there’s Jimmy’s – completely original.
I have no magic words to try to ease your pain but only support for you and Don.
It is difficult to see your future hopes and aspirations disappear.
It’s very hard, Lea. Thank you.
Oh Claudia,
I know you have to be sad. it’s a pretty rough business isn’t it? It appears one has to be brave to work in that industry. Feelings and hearts are difficult to find in the critics whose opinions might be snobbish for sure.
I am so sorry for this.
Katheryn
It can be a cruel business, that’s for sure. Thanks.
Grief can feel like slogging through deep, wet clay that keeps pulling you back even as it rips clothing away. Wish you and Don hadn’t been cast into this situation right now.
Thank you, Linda.
I hope that whe Don comes home and your both lovingly enjoy your home and garden together that your outlook will become more positive and good things will come your way. My prayers are with you.
We’re positive people. We just need time.
Well, you know I was watching the Tonys, part of it and, like, I saw the segment with Bruce Springsteen and frankly was bored, and I like Springsteen but what the? Why does he get the performance during that telecast? Why does he get the special award? The popular run? Yet, Jimmy B, no? Which is more entertaining? I don’t get it either but, of course, I’m not in NYC and I’m not going to the shows nor do I have real knowledge about any of it. With Springsteen, I’m serious, I changed the channel for a few minutes. Again, I love the guy but he was just droning on and on. I’d read more than one piece about Escape to M perhaps getting a performance slot in the Tonys’ show but when you didn’t say anything about it, I thought, oh dear, it must’ve not happened. They couldn’t throw ’em a bone for even that? Sad. So glad, though, that we’ll be able to see Don for the Capital Fourth.
I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling unwell. No fun to not feel well when you’re already down.
Me? Unusual Sunday. Husband working long hours on a freelance job. I was out earlier in the car than I’d usually be (8am), trying to repair the area around that ever-present cemetery plot before the day got too hot. (I went one day last week, although I said I wouldn’t go back anytime soon, and they had a bulldozer parked on top of the plot, the giant wheels ‘resting’ right on top of my parents’ grave markers, so a whole thing ensued with me yelling at the workers, then fighting for composure at the cemetery office and making my point well known with the location manager that they CANNOT put a bulldozer on top of my parents; utter disrespect for the dead; and what if they cracked the stone markers and then tried to say it wasn’t them? I can’t afford that kind of expense, thousands of dollars, to replace gravemarkers of ten of my deceased loved ones!)
Anyway, driving the long ‘way around to home to try to get calm and saw Estate Sale signs all over the place…so, stopped. Was the home of a guy I’ve gone to school with, K-12; his parents’ home I should say, both having died within 9 months of each other as of three weeks ago. The adult kids already had the house open for the estate sale and were pretty candid about wanting to get the house cleared for home sale while they can still capture these hugely-inflated selling prices for single-family dwellings right now in SoCalif (before we head into the next, looming, completely-inevitable recession, bound to happen, talked about frequently here in my area – – my friend in Ventura whose house burned to the ground in the December wildfire just got $550,000 for her cleared, ocean-view lot [it’s not a lot of land at all]; sold it in 8 days; that’s just for the cleared land/lot; real estate here is off the charts in terms of values).
So, back to the estate sale – – my old school friend’s family home is a nice custom-built house from the 60s; lots of possibilities with remodel/updating. I’ve spent time in the house in my past; was at a fun party there when I was age 10 which I remember quite well. And there I was again, all the many decades later, windblown and with mud all over me from the cemetery, looking like something the cat dragged in, stopping on a whim (I often regret my whims). And who do I run into but this former classmate of mine who I haven’t seen for 45 years so, although it was poignant, ahhhh vanity; mortified to be seen in my bedraggled state (I don’t know why it didn’t enter my mind that he’d be there but I think it’s because he lives elsewhere in the U.S. and would have already gone back after the funeral although, really, none of that was on my radar).
It was the 2nd day of the sale and picked over – – they had nothing marked for price – – but it was 55 years for his folks in that house; so, a lot of stuff. I could have picked up two LARGE/tall, glass-faced curio cabinets, very nice quality and wood, great storage for all my collections ($350 for the pair) but I don’t have room in my small house for one more piece of furniture; dang. I stumbled upon, from what I could determine, a service for 24 (at least); Haviland china. Clean and not a mark on any of it. All companion dishes (serving pieces) gone but I scored the creamer/sugar for $2. Looked it up online later and they’re for sale as a duo in a couple of different places for as high as $90. The family had clearly not done any research but I think they just didn’t care; mostly just wanted everything gone so that they can get that house up for sale. I also got a diminutive but precious & true Delftware piece and a Royal Albert floral vase (one dollar each). Keep thinking of, wow, what did I miss, had I only gone Saturday.
They’re very cliquey, the Tonys. I didn’t watch. Don did, but after Christy didn’t get nominated for Anastasia last year, nor the gorgeous score, they started to lose their luster. Then this. No more for me.
I’m so sorry that those callous idiots are parking equipment where your loved ones rest in the cemetery. There is no excuse.
(I have a whole set of Haviland back in Michigan. It was my great-grandmother’s.)
Claudia, I do LOVE Haviland. Why don’t you have it? Is it just a matter of going back there and getting it? Oh dear, is it with your other sister…I fear that’s the case. If so, I’m so sorry. Not meaning to be nosy but, oh, this creamer/sugar I got on Sunday is so lovely; very glad to have it and, in a roundabout way, reminds me of my school friend’s grammy, who was my brother’s and my childhood babysitter – – with her, of course, living with her daughter & daughter’s family in that so-nice home. She was such a dear lady.
Oh, to think of the vintage, the age of your g-grandmother’s; such a treasure. I really don’t have anything from that generation of ancestors; one crazy quilt and one flow-blue plate. One very cracked/chipped serving bowl from gr-gr-grandmother; don’t remember the brand. I’ll be giving it all to one younger cousin as soon as I unearth it from storage…but only after I enjoy it myself for a little while.
No, it’s at my friend’s house. She has stored some of my stuff for over 30 years! Just a trunk full of mementos and the china. I need to drive back there and bring them home.
Oh, do! Put it on the list. I’d love to see your photos of Michigan and especially the goodies. You’ve got the storage unit now; you can juggle space. My cousin is going to Michigan in August to see, for the first time ever, our Dutch kin in Grand Rapids. I’m SO envious, but it’s a trip I hope to take a couple of years from now (or sooner) with my husband. All in good time. But I don’t want to wait TOO long.
It’s just having a car with enough space to transport things back. If the play had run longer, I was going to rent an SUV and drive there, but that’s money I can’t afford right now.
I’ve got to get my grandma’s treadle sewing machine from the 30s to a 2nd cousin in Dallas; one of those ‘on the list’ things to do. We figured we’d rent a small u-haul trailer to tow behind our car. That’s the (vague!) plan anyway…
I wish you didn’t have to feel the money squeeze. You have no idea how much I relate; again, I’m married to a freelancer. We’re going into retirement very soon (mere months) and I’m very uneasy; sometimes I don’t know how we’ll make ends meet. My husband feels I’m overthinking it but I know how much it takes for us to live because I handle the finances.
If I hear of one more of my ‘aging baby boomer’ acquaintances getting big inheritances from their careful-savers “Greatest Generation” parents, I think I’ll start screaming. Right when they’re retiring, my friends are getting these large cushions of money to see them thru to ‘The End’. I wish I had that kind of safety net.
I try not to covet – – I was taught in Sunday School that it’s a sin to do so – – but hearing about their fantastic vacations and purchases of this & that is sorta driving me crazy; I can’t imagine what it is to have ‘disposable’ money like that! It’s this weird line I straddle of being happy for them, yet being jealous of their good fortune. You can see the ease on their faces; they don’t have my fears.
In the past 12 months, I have seven people (seven individual instances) I know who are now ‘set for life’ due to the generosity and frugality of their deceased parents. And with six of the seven, disappointing to say and observe that they don’t seem so terribly griefstricken over the loss of said parents (thought it was just me, but somebody else said the same; of course, there’s always a backstory and everybody navigates grief differently). Nor do any of these age 60-somethings I know need the extra money; they were doing fine before the inheritance.
Seems like a case of the rich getting richer, the poor getting poorer…but then I pull out the gratitude list because I am sure there are other people much less fortunate who’d wish they had even a fraction of what I have. I saw a woman in town this evening who I know is homeless yet I don’t think she suffers mentally and there doesn’t seem to be any outward evidence of addiction. She tries to keep herself clean and not so much in sight. Doesn’t hang with the other homeless people. She’s young; I bet she isn’t 30. Seems so vulnerable; dangerous for her ‘out there’ – – I always think to myself when I see her, which isn’t too often actually, what’s her story; what happened; where does she go with that neatly-packed cart. She never begs like the others do. I think she’s just trying to survive. Heartbreaking. I can’t complain about anything. Not when I see her.
I confess that I struggle with the same thing – jealousy of people who get sizable inheritances and don’t have to worry about money in their retirement years. That isn’t the case with us. I’m grateful for the money I inherited from my parents, but trust me, it’s a very, very modest amount, nothing to pin one’s hopes on. We’ve already had to use some of it.
We pinned our hopes on ETM, and that didn’t work out. Anyway, I work hard to be sincerely happy for them and let my insecurities go.
You’re doing all the right things, Claudia.
We’re going to be all right. We’ve got the brains to be resourceful and steady in the journey.
We’re on fire here in SoCalif again. I was coming in from the east and good-sized grass fire adjacent to the freeway this afternoon. Firetrucks from County all over the place, directing traffic; big earth movers (trying to snuff it out with loose dirt is my guess). I thought, “Gosh, I’ve gotta get out of here.” Firetrucks coming at me, had to keep pulling over to the side; roadblocks and police directing traffic. So I took a circuitous route thru the east/north side of town to then get around the hillsides and back home. Driving thru the north end, more sirens (could see them to my left on a parallel highway, which is where I needed to be), went further north to see if I could get around them only to drive into a dense cloud of smoke which just came out of nowhere…the instant I smelled it, I was IN it.
Same area downwind of the canyon fire we had in December, people rushing out of their houses, the most-worried faces; I totally saw people RUNNING in a panic as it was apparently just over the hill; too-too recent memory, like, please, God, not again. I thought, “How in the heck am I gonna get outta HERE now?” (Good thing I know my way around this town I’ve lived in for most of my life!)
In the meantime, I’m breathing in all this smoke and I only JUST got my breathing/lungs in better shape in April, from December.
It took like what felt forever but I finally made it back on the highway to go north-south to West, dodging more fire trucks.
I can’t find out anything – – I’d hovered to talk to some city workers and they were as dumbfounded as anybody else although they’d driven to a lookout point, I think awaiting direction (in a big work truck); we were all trying to locate the flames and of course our eyes go instantly to the near foothills (smoke is so disorienting; you lose your landmarks) – – and I haven’t heard more helicopters overhead so I’m thinking they made fast work of putting it down; after all, the trucks were just a couple of miles away at the OTHER fire which they seemed to be getting a handle on. Now, since arriving home and I turned on the TV, I see we’ve got a few fires burning in L.A./Orange Co.
To be on the safe side, my husband decided to try to get off work early and he’s on his way home right now. I’m sure everything will be okay but we’re all too antsy; wildfire is a fearsome-scary thing.
It always is a surprise when we get fire that’s not in autumn, which used to be the ‘usual’. And we’re not totally dry, as humidity is about 30 percent although the temps have hiked up; we’re slated for 90 degrees tomorrow but, after all, it IS summer.
Whew. I know it’s all in how one reacts to it but, lately, I have ‘way too much stress.
Take care, Vicki. And keep us posted! Stay safe.
Well, if we were going to have two fires in one day, at least all the fire trucks and equipment were very near to each other and, God Bless ’em, those guys got both fires contained in rapid time (not all THAT much acreage in relationship to the amount of smoke) but, man, did I see a lot of panicked residents and I was one of them; we’re all still too raw from the big fire just 6 months ago. Later this evening, while there was still light, my husband and I went up into the hills just above town to see exactly where the second fire had been burning and, whoa, ‘way too close to too many houses but, ya know, they build up there and it’s not a great idea; everybody wants a view. I lived up there once, too, so I’m throwing no stones.
I’m going to go back and review the drought tables again; I haven’t been keeping up with it. But something got to all the jacaranda trees; have never seen them like this. Spindly, weak-looking branches, funky little blooms, where there were ones (if any), which just shriveled up with these big pod things hanging from bare branches; it’s either disease or drought; huge disappointment; poor suffering trees.
Whew. Too much drama for one afternoon. At least everything turned out okay.
So sad about the jacarandas, such beautiful trees!
I am certain that it is painfully disappointing to you both on so many levels. Shit happens in life and often there is no clear answer why. I have found that I do best when I feel what I feel ( disappointment, anger and even grief) and accept that these are just feelings and are ok. Then, eventually, I can move beyond and am ready for new things. May it be so for you and Don.
Yes, I’m letting myself feel everything. Thanks, Carolyn Marie
Claudia, I wish there was something I could do or say to make you feel better. Just have faith. Everything happens for a reason, and I truly believe that good will come out of this, even though it might not feel that way right now. Love to you both. Blessings
Thank you, Lesley.
Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. Hope you get better soon. I feel so bad for Don and the show closing. It seems so unfair to have every one involved with the show to have it end so quickly. Most of the Broadway shows do not interest me. The remakes are most of the time not as good as the original. it seems like the Tony awards are not interested in certain shows unless you are in with the in crowd. Claudia Don is a talented actor and will be cast again in a new role.
Marilyn
Yes. I don’t need to see another remake. I’ve seen Carousel. I’ve seen Hello Dolly. I’ve seen Angels in America. Enough already! Thanks, Marilyn!
You know, they’re doing this with the TV shows, too. Did we really need a reboot of Roseanne? Do we really need a reboot of Murphy Brown? There’s talk they’re trying to revive the show with Helen Hunt…name escapes me, “Mad About You”. Again and again, where’s some original storylines/new shows? I am so bored with network television, even basic cable. I watch a lot of PBS and TCM; that’s pretty much it these days. I know I’m missing stuff on Netflix, Amazon but I’m not into that yet.
Very little original work, lots of recycled work.
I am sorry about the play closing, I can sense how sad and disappointed you are as I am sure Don is too.
You have done so much in your yard, I like the way it looks, so green and lush. I really like the vintage plant stand you recently bought, the lobelia looks pretty in it.
Thank you so much, Linda.
oh, dear … sorry that you’re not feeling well. hope and prayers that you feel much better soon!
hope you can just stay in for a few days and rest. or be out on your porch … just not having to mow the lawn or get groceries.
and in a bit you’ll be with your sweetie in one of the greatest cities in the world, can get back to that special garden and library …! will you see “etm” again?
hugs,
kathy in iowa
I’ll see the closing performance. That’s going to be a hard one.
I think the closing of the show is a loss that you have to go through the stages of grief and every day it will be less. Hopefully there will be something wonderful to come along for Don. I’m also grieving for the children that are being ripped from the loving and protective arms of their parents on the border. Seeing them in dog style pens on concrete floors with nothing but thin plastic “space blankets” nauseates me. I keep hoping for something to save us all from these monsters in office.. but it never seems to come. No heroes. Hang in there… ((hugs)), Teresa
I cannot get those children out of my mind. I am horrified.
I so want a hero to step in, Teresa.