♦ Even though we had decided “No Valentines Day Cards or Presents” Don snuck this home from the grocery store. Whenever I challenge him on buying something when we had agreed not to, he says “But I’m the guy!” As in, it’s my duty to give you something for Valentines Day. It’s a kalanchoe plant.
♦ We learned last night that Don’s stepmother died a few days ago. She was 95. They had a complicated relationship as June was ‘the other woman’ when Don was a kid, and Don’s mom, who suffered from mental illness, did not handle it well – to put it mildly. June and Lee eventually married and they were together close to 60 years or so and had three children together. It took a few years, but Don and June forged a relationship and she was always good to him. I liked her, as well. Rest in Peace, June. I like to think that Lee was waiting for her on the other side of the veil.
♦ For the past few months I have been very introspective, looking back on my actions in the past, assessing them, and regretting many. I’m a good person, but I sure haven’t handled every situation well. Decidedly not. I often react from a place of high emotion and that isn’t always the best way to react. I can be impulsive. It’s important to look back on these things with a clear eye. And to do better in the future. It seems a natural thing to reflect on things like this as we get older, though it can be uncomfortable.
♦ We watched The Red Shoes last night on TCM. I have seen it before, but Don had not. I urged him to give it a try because I knew he would love it. It’s such an amazing story with a brilliant cast, beautiful art direction, and a gorgeous musical score. He LOVED it. It says so much about the dedication being an artist requires, along with the struggle to have a normal life. Brilliant, I think. Both of us had dreams last night based on the movie. Mine was right before I woke up and it was quite detailed. Rather than involving dance, mine was about acting. Of course. Have you ever seen it? You should!
Derek looking out at the snow.
♦ We walked yesterday, a very brisk walk, as it was quite cold out. While we were out, I purchased a smaller box from the post office for shipping an Etsy order, which I have to mail today. We’ll try to walk again today, as Don has a gig tomorrow, so we’ll not get a walk in. And then we’re due for rain.
♦ I’m halfway through the 750 page The Year of the Locust by Terry Hayes. I have yet to read my assigned chunk of Wolf Hall reading. Locust is due next week and since it was just published, I doubt I’ll be able to renew it. Must finish. It’s a riveting spy thriller, so it’s not as if I have to make myself read it! I often can’t put it down.
And that’s about it!
Stay safe.
Happy Wednesday.
I love your blog. You may not realize it but we (you and I) have long conversations about your topics. You just can’t hear me. It’s quite enjoyable though.
Love you,
Eileen
I’m glad we’re chatting together, Eileen!
Love you dearly, my cousin!
Stay safe.
That was a nice surprise Valentine’s plant! Sorry to hear about Don’s stepmother; at 95, I hope she had a good life, all we can hope for. I completely understand your view of being introspective, assessing, regretting…your paragraph rang very close to home. Sometimes our best at a certain moment could be better, but not always in that moment. And we move forward. I’m about to go out for a quick walk now, though it is rather cool yet. Stay warm!
Thank you, Barrie.
Stay safe.
Oh,my! The Red Shoes! I remember the first time I saw it as as a teen-ager.That was 1950!I have watched it several times since and always find it thrilling. I did not comment a few days ago,but want you to know how grateful I am to have found your blog.I think of you as a friend and whatever you decide know that I shall miss you.xo
Thank you, Annette!
Stay safe.
Derek is looking very pensive. I didn’t realize how curly his fur is. He’s a sweetie. Sometimes we wish we could have do-overs in life. Sadly that doesn’t happen but we do live and learn. Hope you were able to finish your book. Hugs, Elaine
Oh, I’m not going to finish it in one day! I have over 350 pages to go!
Stay safe, Elaine,
I’m glad Don’s stepmother was good to him. My father-in-law’s stepmother was not good to him, and he was just a little boy who’d lost his own mommy to an early and untreatable cancer in the 1920s (when he was only age five). It’s why my husband could never get cool with his paternal grandfather, that the man would have allowed that to happen to his son. Although my husband has a rich and colorful ancestry, he wants none of it. He is quite unsentimental about his heritage and (often complicated) family history, which I think is a shame because I could write a book on the roots of those who came before him. (For all the bad ones, there were some very good and very interesting, brave people in his lineage. Oh well.)
“It seems a natural thing to reflect on things like this as we get older, though it can be uncomfortable.” Ah, yes, and sometimes with the hope to make retribution or find an absolution that never comes. I’ve tried to correct the past usually to no avail, even years later; people aren’t too forgiving and often have long memories (although others have forgotten me entirely). I regret SO much of my past actions, behaviors and decisions. I try to reconcile the past in vain, too much of the time. But, to keep living with a regretful past is very detrimental. Just as we forgive others, we have to forgive ourselves. Easier said than done.
Believe me, much of Don’s childhood after the divorce was a total nightmare. What he has shared with me is shocking and my heart aches for what he went through. Those are not my stories to tell, however.
Thanks, Vicki.
Stay safe.
I think I misused the word ‘retribution’. I meant something more like recompense. Apology. To make right. You probably get my drift. (I’ve been writing all morning and, when I get tired, I can tend to mix up my words and meanings.)
Thanks for sharing your feelings, Claudia. What’s on your mind; what you’re going thru at this age and time. It can help make some of the rest of us not feel so alone in how we might similarly be contemplating ‘life’.
xo
I saw The Red Shoes yesterday, too! I had not seen it for years. It is brilliant and rather mesmerizing.
It speaks to Don’s character and his heart that he was able to overcome a difficult childhood and become a loving adult..
I love that little bear.
Take Care,
Kaye
Thank you so much, Kaye.
Stay safe.
sad and sorry for what don went through, especially as a kid. and for whatever hard things his stepmother’s passing may bring him now. sad. i am glad that you and don have each other all the time and especially at times like this one.
…
pretty flowering plant and very sweet guy you have!
i bet you will get that book read and returned to the library on time. here, i am almost exactly 500 pages (on 856 out of 1354) from finishing “war and peace”. continuing to enjoy it. can’t thank you enough for mentioning that read-along and all the books you read … very inspiring and helpful to me.
i, too, have regrets and would like some do-overs. since those don’t really happen, i try to be forgiving of other people and (less easier) myself. on a related note, been working on other unpleasant-but-necessary things, including taxes. i was to get a small (under $150) federal refund last year, but in looking for confirmation of same (because the state of iowa double-dips by taxing tax refunds on which taxes had already been paid so i need to be able to report that) neither the bank nor i could find that i received it … so tomorrow i get the joy of calling the irs. i want to get those taxes done – and received!
found some fabric, washed and ironed it and hope to make a couple pillow covers this weekend. one will be a back-rest on an old wicker settee that belonged to my paternal grandparents and which my parents gave me about twenty years ago. pleased about that, especially since it goes very well (in the contrast-y way i like) with the seat cushion made by my beloved mother. also, it feels good to cross things off the to-do list.
derek sure looks cute in his “red shoes”.
best wishes to don on his gig tomorrow night. i hope the promoter/host will post videos of it online and don’s performance(s) will be seen on video or, better yet, live in the audience by someone seeking to hire a very talented man.
it’s not that late here (9:00 pm), but i am sleepy enough to go to bed. don’t know how you east-coast-ers do it with some of the best shows on tv not starting until 10:00 pm and then the news at 11!
hope today has been a very good day for everyone. stay safe (my youngest niece has covid, her husband hasn’t been tested yet but feels bad and their youngest child has strep throat ,,, argh. prayers appreciated for my family, please and thank you!).
xo,
kathy
Thanks so much, Kathy.
We don’t watch network tv, so that rarely impacts us. But many is the time where I find myself falling asleep during a movie!
Stay safe.
good about not missing network tv. hopefully you can catch the movies some other time.
happy, safe friday to you and don! everyone else, too.
xo,
kathy
xo
I love your blog. It makes me think. Now, about regrets and such, my husband’s wound nurse told me when I/my husband were having a very tough day, that the most important thing for me to remember was to have not only patience but also tolerance and forgiveness – for him and also for myself. It was good advice. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you, Barb.
Stay safe.
This has become a very reflective time in my life. For years I was so focused on taking care of my Mom and now I must admit I’m a bit lost. I’m trying to organize my life, my home and my hobbies so I may enjoy my ‘golden years’ ha!! I am so blessed with love from my family it keeps me going.
You are very blessed to have family around, Linda. My family members are far away.
Stay safe.
Derek is beyond adorable! Just sayin’…. and Don is pretty darned adorable too, with that lovely plant! (And look at it this way — you’ll BOTH be able to enjoy it!)
Condolences on June. I’m glad they were able to forge a good relationship in time but I can see why it could have been bumpy going for a bit.
Rats! Missed The Red Shoes and I’ve never seen it either, though I know the story. I wonder if it holds over a bit… I’ll have to check.
Oh, you must see it, Jeanie.
Stay safe.