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The Way Things Are

November 12, 2015 at 9:20 am by Claudia

Reading, but only for a short while. Crocheting. Walking aimlessly around the house. Browsing online. Taking care of Scout. Cuddling with my husband.

Welcome to my days since I’ve been home. It’s hard for me to commit to anything for any length of time. But, for some reason, I’ve been able to crochet. I just finished my second scarf yesterday afternoon and I’ll be putting it in the Etsy shop later today. (The scarf I posted yesterday sold rather quickly.)

It feels good to accomplish something.

I have trouble getting to sleep and, after dozing for a short time, I wake up and am confused as to where I am. Is that Dad in the room with me? Is it Mom? It’s unsettling. I woke up feeling very sad.

I know it’s all a part of the grieving process and I’m not trying to rush anything or deny any of my feelings. I’ve grieved a lot in my life. I’ve lost a lot of friends and students and colleagues and family members. Losing my parents is hitting me in my very core, in ways I didn’t – couldn’t – anticipate.

Don came in the door yesterday with these:

11-12 flowersfromdon

I don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s there for me; solid, understanding, compassionate.

And so I wait for some more yarn to make its way to my mailbox, ready to create a few more Obsession Scarves. A box of things; pictures, memories, paintings, should be arriving today. I may actually get in the car and drive to Target to buy some mailing boxes and a yarn needle at Michaels. I spent a long time yesterday searching for mine but I have no idea where I put them. They’ve dropped off the face of the earth.

Could this post be more tedious and boring? Even I  am bored by it. But I always speak truth to you and this is where I am at the moment.

How about a pretty picture?

11-12 sunset beginning

It’s been raining here for the past two days and it sure looks gloomy this morning. I hope the sun decides to make an appearance.

Happy Thursday.

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Filed Under: Dad, Don, grief, mom 35 Comments

Gifts, Etsy, and a Salute to a Veteran

November 11, 2015 at 9:36 am by Claudia

Don came in the house the other day after running some errands and said “Merry Christmas!” He was carrying two boxes addressed to me. They were from Kathy and Barbara, two readers of this blog.

I needed some cheering up and who doesn’t love opening a present?

Kathy sent a lovely sympathy card with a poem that made Don and me cry. She sent an additional copy for me to send to Meredith. Kathy’s present was all about comfort food – for all three members of our family.

11-11 comfort food

The Ghirardelli chocolates are almost gone. Don will polish off those Corn Nuts in no time. And Milo’s Chicken Meatballs are Scout’s favorite treat. We add them to her food because she loves them so much.

Thank you, Kathy.

Barbara sent a beautiful sympathy card and a box full of goodies.

11-11 books

Two books and a bookmark. I almost bought The Miniaturist when I was in NYC, but held off. So I’m excited to now have a copy. The other book I’ve not heard of, but it’s subtitled: Pride and Prejudice: The Servants’ Story, which sounds very interesting, indeed. And you know how I feel about cupcakes.

11-11 minis 1

Minis! That mini canvas is fabulous and is going to go over the sofa in the TSP. There are two more record albums and a NYC sign.

11-11 minis 2

Lovely tins. Don’t you want some of these in your real-life home? And a cup of coffee/tea.

11-11 minis 3

A keyboard for the TSP. I discovered this keyboard online and had it bookmarked for a future purchase, but Barbara beat me to it. Love, love it.

11-11 eggcup

And an adorable doggie egg cup. Actually, two of them, the other was downstairs when I took this picture.

Thank you so much, Kathy and Barbara. You brightened my day. What lovely presents!

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In other news, I added my finished Obsession Scarf to the Etsy Shop, which has been on a two-year hiatus. I’m almost done with the turquoise scarf and I’ll list that, too. Since crocheting provides some comfort at the moment, I will most likely make a few more. The widget for the Etsy shop is on my sidebar.

Edited to add: Sold. Thank you! I’ll add another scarf in the next couple of days…

I’m stealing this next photo from my sister’s blog. I have a copy, too, but it’s packed away.

1-November 8 2015 006

That’s my dad and my grandfather. Dad was a decorated veteran of WWII. Like so many at that time, he joined the Air Force when he was very young – eighteen – and served for four years. He never glorified war. He barely spoke of it when I was growing up. He wasn’t into all of the rah-rah, go get ’em, kill the bastards crap that we’ve all heard. He saw firsthand the horrors of war and he never forgot them. In his final years, he was tortured by nightmares of that time in his life. It came back to haunt him.

I admire the fact that my dad never bragged about his time in the war. Meredith and I never even knew he was decorated until we found that paperwork in my parents’ safe deposit box during my August visit to Florida. He was a gentle and kind man, my dad. But the war made a mark on him and he was forever changed by it. We think that some of what we saw in him  – the tension, the nervous problems, the mood swings – may have been the result of what he went through as a very young soldier seeing things no one should ever see.

On this Veteran’s Day, I honor my dad. And I fervently hope for an end to all wars.

Happy Wednesday.

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Filed Under: Dad, etsy, gifts, miniatures 44 Comments

Sunset

November 10, 2015 at 9:33 am by Claudia

We had a spectacular sunset last night.

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11-10 sunset3

11-10 sunset1

You can see the mountains in this shot.

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It changed from second to second, so I took lots of pictures.

My camera is a source of comfort to me. It grounds me and pulls me out of my head and into the present.

I slept in today. For the first time since I flew to Florida, I feel like I got a healthy chunk of sleep time. I’m also dealing with a sinus thing – not surprising, given the stress that’s been ongoing.

I don’t quite know what to do with myself. I try to read, and I do, but losing myself for an hour in  the pages of a book is hard. I clean – that seems to help, as it gives me a specific task to do. Mostly, I take it easy, as prescribed by my husband. And I watch reruns of Frasier, because it makes me laugh.

I received two packages in the mail yesterday and I’ll share them with you tomorrow.

Happy Tuesday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

 

Filed Under: life 30 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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