Claudia — Page 1087

The Proliferation of Lists and Shoulds

November 9, 2015 at 9:48 am by Claudia

Because they make me smile:

11-9 smile1

And smiles have been in short supply recently.

11-9 smile2

Under the topic of Things that Irritate Me: Any headline or blog post that says something like “10 Essentials You Should Have in Your Home.” Or on the Huffington Post today, “10 Books at Garage Sales You Should Never Pass Up.”

Really? According to who (or is it whom)?

Stop with the ‘shoulds.’ I am stubborn. If you tell me I ‘should’ do anything, which is really just a way to write what you think is a catchy, can’t-fail post or article title, I will not read it. In fact, if I’m feeling a little surly, I will look at your list and do the opposite.

And I’ll add, though I’ve said this before, the list trend in blog post titles irritates me, as well. Also on the Huffington Post today: “18 Annoying Things I Don’t Want to Hear About Your Child.” Stop it. Or I will counter with “18 Annoying Things I Don’t Want to See or Hear From You.”

If there’s a list, I won’t read it. I know many readers are drawn to that kind of post and more power to you. That’s just fine. This is just my opinion. I think it irritates me for a couple of reasons. Writers have clearly been told this is a good way to get readers. So EVERYONE is now doing it. My eyes glaze over. Who knows? Maybe stats show that this is indeed a sure-fire way to get people to read a post. Since I’m not in this for the stats, and – again – since I’m stubborn, I will not go there.

Another reason? The tendency for everyone to assume the title of ‘expert’ simply because they have a little writing space on the web. Just because I love decorating my home doesn’t make me an expert on the subject. I know what I like, but surely that’s not what everyone likes. I wrote a series of posts on living in a small space a few years back. I was never entirely comfortable coming up with ‘rules’ for small spaces. Again, I know what works for us here in this cottage, but making a list of rules for others to follow is not me. I’m not an expert. I just know what works here.

I often consider deleting those posts from my navigation bar. Maybe today…

Just because I’ve worked with coding and designed this blog and my other blog doesn’t make me qualified to be a blog consultant. I almost started a little side thing to help others with blogging questions a few years back, but it never felt right and I’m glad I didn’t follow through. I don’t know enough about graphics and design. I know what I need to know for my purposes but not nearly enough to qualify as an expert.

Humility can be a good thing.

Okay. Enough of that. It just feels good to talk about something other than grief.

I asked Don to make breakfast for me yesterday and he did. French Toast = comfort food. Oh, was it good! He’s been great; checking in with me to see how I’m doing, listening to me when I need to talk, holding me when I need to cry. I’ve been a little testy at times. I admit it, I don’t have a lot of patience at the moment. I’m working on that. But he understands and for that I am truly grateful.

I hope you’re all well on this Monday morning. Thanks for being there on the other end of these posts. Thanks for reading my words, awkward as they may be at times.

Happy Monday.

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After. Home.

November 8, 2015 at 10:01 am by Claudia

I’m home.

11-8 dad'sview

(My dad’s favorite view from his chair.)

Walking through my parents’ condo yesterday, for presumably the last time, was far more devastating emotionally than I was prepared for. It left me shaken and sobbing.

I’ve come home to my husband, to quiet, to the realization that I’m an orphan. To the realization that my birthday, which is in 13 days, will my first without both my parents. To the realization that I will never hear my dad’s voice again.

I’ve come home to a landscape in which every tree that had autumn-colored leaves when I left is now bare. I’ve come home to a dog who is frailer than she was when I left, which worries me.

I’m not comfortable writing an entire ‘poor me’ post. So, I’ll make this short. I almost didn’t post today and the regularity of my posting might be a bit erratic this week. I’m taking time for the enormity of this to sink in. I need to allow myself the time and space in which to grieve.

My Little Z and my furry nephew Max helped to distract me by the sheer amount of love and joy emanating from their beings. For that I am forever grateful.

11-8 dinosaur

Yesterday, Z hid behind a wall in the kitchen and, as I passed by, wheeled his walker out and ‘scared’ me. He said “ROAR!” He was a dinosaur. (Pardon the blurry iPhone photo, but that kid was in constant motion.) He made me smile and laugh. I love that boy.

I love my Maxie, too. When he sensed I was leaving, he followed me everywhere, even into the bathroom when I took a shower.

And I love my sister and brother-in-law and my other nephews. My sister and I have shared something that is profound and deeply sad. I don’t know if I could have done it without her. It was hard leaving them yesterday but I was ready to come home.

Don is also an orphan. He understands.

Anyway, I’m rambling a bit here. Thank you all for your support and compassion.

I’m hanging in there.

Happy Sunday.

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Heading Home

November 7, 2015 at 8:14 am by Claudia

11-7sunset

Florida has some spectacular sunsets. I’ve seen more than a few since I first arrived over a week ago. I’ll miss them, but I remind myself that the winter skies in my neck of the woods also bring gorgeous sunsets.

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That black speck is a plane.

This morning we will send off some of my dad’s paintings (he loved to paint in oils) to my brother’s children and my cousin. I’ve packed up a box to send to the cottage of pictures and items that remind me of my parents; wind chimes, three of my mother’s crosses (she collected them), my dad’s golf hat, some tools that my dad used, bits and bobs. I’m also sending home a small painting that my dad did fairly recently and an oil painting that I’ve always loved that was painted by my great-aunt Ruth, my maternal grandmother’s sister. I have one of Ruth’s paintings on the wall at home – it’s the small painting of the farmhouse in Canada where they lived as children.

We’ll also do a bit more sorting today. Then it’s off to the airport to fly home. I’ll miss my family here, there has been enormous comfort in being with them for ten days. But it’s time to be comforted by my husband and my little furry girl, to be enveloped in a big husbandly hug, to have some quiet time in which I can come to terms with the death of my father.

I finished the first obsession scarf and have started on the second.

11-7newscarf

This one is a bit heavier in weight and is a mix of lovely blues and turquoises and greens. I will be listing both of them – and maybe more, if I keep this up – on Etsy. I’ll get a better picture of these colors when I get back home and can use my big girl camera.

I’m so glad I stayed down here. Meredith and I needed to be with each other. I was able to take care of a lot of necessary tasks while Mer was at work. We drew strength from each other when we were sorting through things at the condo. We were able to make decisions more efficiently.

Yesterday, after more errands, Meredith said, “Do you want to go out to lunch?” I had been thinking the same thing. We haven’t had time to just be, the two of us. It was so nice to stop and breathe and do something, anything, that wasn’t a task that had to be done. I suspect my dad’s death will hit us both in ways we can’t imagine in the coming weeks.

There is a lot more to be done with Dad’s estate, but that will take time. In the meantime, we need to breathe and think and remember.

Happy Saturday.

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The Proliferation of Lists and Shoulds

After. Home.

Heading Home

Lambs Like to Party

A Note

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