I remember the days when our first snowfall was pretty; gently falling snowflakes with a magical kind of quality.

Instead, we’re getting this:

In other words, snow changing to rain changing to ice changing to snow changing to ice and then changing to rain.

This happened a lot last year. I sure hope this first ‘event’ is not going to be the norm this winter.

It all happens after it gets dark, so it’s not as if we can watch the pretty little snowflakes falling…

No snowblower, of course, but it wouldn’t really work with this stuff. I’ve heard anywhere from 1 – 3 inches, but our local weather guys who I turn to for the most accurate forecast are saying a coating to an inch. Fingers crossed!

We’ll see.

Do you think it might be time for us to remove our a/c window units? I’m thinking that is a resounding yes, so that’s on our agenda for today, as well as getting the snow shovels out of the shed.

I took a quick glance at the porch plants. They’re not dead yet, but it’s early in the day. I’ll know more later.

Sounds like a day for sugar-free hot chocolate, doesn’t it?

As for my thoughts on my upcoming birthday, a clarification. Feelings about aging and big birthdays are complex and I think it’s healthy to acknowledge and honor that. Of course I’m grateful that I’m still here. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t feel something beyond that. Life is complicated. Feelings are complicated. So, my replies yesterday reflect that.

There is not one of us who hasn’t lost someone too soon. I certainly have, starting with two children I routinely babysat who lost their young lives to cancer. I was 12 or 13, but they were much younger. Sadly, we often face heartbreaking loss at an early age. And since the age of 44, there has not been one birthday where I haven’t been acutely aware of the fact that I have been granted more years on this earth than my brother. Or more years than all my friends who died of AIDS. Or my student who was murdered.

And I am well aware that some of you have lost beloved husbands and children and my heart breaks for you. There are no words.

All of that is to say that life is not a Hallmark card. It’s tricky and complicated.

Don’t worry, though I have insisted on no presents – we’re stretched pretty thin at the moment – Don will be in a celebratory mood and will make the day lovely. I’m eternally grateful for his presence in my life. But that isn’t for 6 days, so in the meantime…snow and ice and messy weather.

Stay safe.

Happy Tuesday.

From Don’s camera this morning – one red leaf remaining on the burning bush.

And another sigh. Lots of sighs lately.

This seasonal transition is a hard one for me, as you know. I’m also one week away from a big birthday and that is weighing on me, as well. Time seems to go by so quickly these days. Thank goodness for a husband who understands and makes me laugh. And for puzzles that keep my mind occupied in a meditative way. And for books, always.

It’s now very cold here and will be even colder tomorrow. The porch plants made it through the night, but I doubt they will make it through tonight.

I think I need to reread some of Mary Oliver’s wintery poems. Her eye for detail and her observations always keep me grounded.

Sorry! This isn’t a very good photo because the light was funky. There are words under different headings like ‘propagation’ and ‘soil.’ But you can’t make them out. I’d retake it, but I was about to deliver lots of finished puzzles to my friend Heidi, so I took it apart rather hurriedly. Heidi works for a non-profit north of us that is a food pantry, thrift store, and community cafe. They feed, clothe, and respond to the needs of our county and they’ve been around for 50 years. I donate the puzzles so that those in need can buy them at a highly discounted price. Heck, they might even be free in some cases.

I read a nice big chunk of The Shadow Murders yesterday and I plan to do the same today. I love Adler-Olsen’s writing. And just a little over two weeks from now, Louise Penny’s newest will be released. Can’t wait!

Spoiler Alert  opens on December 2nd. Jim, Ben, and Michael Ausiello (the author of the book – Jim plays him in the movie) are attending a screening in San Francisco tonight. They’ll have a discussion with the audience afterwards. And there’s another screening coming up in NYC. Don and I want to go to a movie theater to see it – something we rarely do these days. I think Don is even more excited about it than me.

Stay safe.

Happy Monday.