Mockingbird Hill Cottage

Mockingbird Hill Cottage

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Closing

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Right now: Nothing but sadness.

It’s been an emotional roller coaster and continues to be. Yesterday, I cried off and on all day long. The premature ending to something so dear necessitates a period of mourning. I’m in mourning. Don is in mourning. The cast, the crew, the producers, stage management, director, choreographer and Jimmy are in mourning.

I’ve never encountered a performance like the one on Sunday. The theater was packed with fans. Many had come back for a second, third or fourth time. Everyone wanted to see it one last time. Thunderous applause and cheers as the lights went down. Applause for Paul’s (the lead) first entrance. Singing along with every song. Spontaneous hand clapping to the beat of Jimmy’s music. Cheers. Tears. A cameo by Jimmy in the second act (that was a first) and stomping, cheers, singing and Jimmy at the curtain call. He sang Margaritaville, the cast and audience sang with him, and then he sang a song that he dedicated to the cast. Everyone was crying – onstage and off.

I have a story about three women who were sitting next to me but I don’t have the energy to share it again. I shared it on Instagram yesterday and if you’re interested, go to my feed, or scroll down to the Instagram feed on my sidebar and click on the picture of three women. It’s a good story, to put it mildly. It also will give you an indication of my emotional state during Don’s final performance.

The cast can’t believe they will no longer be working together. Alison, the lead actress, wrote a song for everyone that is heartbreakingly beautiful.

I hate that this is ending.

The enormity of it hasn’t hit Don yet because everyone had to travel down to DC yesterday, where it is even hotter than it is here and they are exhausted and are rehearsing and dancing and singing. It’s rather surreal because the show closed, yet they have one final gig together. Reality won’t begin to hit him until he comes back to the city and we pack up everything. He will miss his life there and that apartment. This will be an enormous transition for him.

He is so loved by the company. We were talking to Jimmy and Frank Marshall, one of the producers (look up his name and see just what he has produced in Hollywood – a true legend) at the party. I was on the receiving end of several hugs from Jimmy, I even got to kiss him on the cheek – he’s a wonderful person. Anyway, he loves Don and loves what he does in the show, but he also thanked him for being such a great influence and inspiration to the cast. One of the producers said he was a consummate professional. He is. And the director quietly told Don that he was his hero.

My heart was overflowing. So why does it have to end? This show is pure joy.

I’m sorting through my emotions and I realize that this has been such a hope for Don and me. A hope for a long run, for a beautiful adventure that started over a year ago in LaJolla to continue. For my husband to enjoy a long stretch in the city performing his favorite role ever. And now it’s gone.

I know you understand. I want to protect my husband. I don’t want to see him disappointed or sad or heartbroken. And he is all three. I’d do anything to keep that from him. I’d do anything to keep that damn show running if it was at all in my power. But it isn’t.

We had a lot of dreams connected to a long run of ETM. They’ve had to be shelved.

As I read tribute after tribute by cast members on Instagram Sunday, as I listened to them speak from their hearts at the party after the performance, I realized just how heartbroken everyone is. To a person. No one wanted it to end. Everyone feels like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m going to make a copy of this picture today and frame it for Don. He is my  hero, too. In every way. I’m enormously proud of him – not just of his acting chops, which are considerable – but of his integrity, compassion, humor, and love for his fellow man.

More later.

It’s my dear sister’s birthday today. Wish her a happy one.

A year ago today, I was flying out to LaJolla to see ETM for the first time. Sigh.

Happy Tuesday.

Saturday

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A view from just inside the front door since I haven’t shown you many house pictures lately. That always happens when it’s garden time. I tend to neglect the inside of the cottage because my focus is on the outside.

Speaking of the outside, I weed whacked early yesterday morning, did some more chores and then, after looking at the weather forecast for the next week (temps in the high nineties through Friday) decided I should mow the front lawn.

Completely exhausting in the heat and humidity, but at least the front of the property will look good this week. I watered everything about 3 times and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about tomorrow when I’m in the city and the temperature reaches 100 degrees. Instead of going in today, I’m going in early tomorrow morning, so I can water everything before I go. I’ll move plants on the porch to a shadier place (if there is one) and hope for the best. I’ll either come back tomorrow night or early Monday morning as Don and his cast mates take the train to Washington DC that morning.

Escape to Margaritaville story: about a week or so ago, a patron arranged a surprise. During the curtain call, he came up onstage and one of the cast members called his girlfriend up (she was completely surprised) and the entire theater got to witness his marriage proposal and her acceptance. Romantic.

I’m sort of numb now, just keeping it together until I watch tomorrow’s closing performance. I know I’ll be crying. It will be sad and beautiful and a bit of a relief. It’s been looming over the cast for a month now and that’s a hard thing to deal with, day after day. One of Don’s fellow cast members said it was like ‘being in hospice.’

It’s also surreal that the show closes and the cast immediately travels to Washington DC for A Capital Fourth. They are performing a medley of songs from the show with new choreography. I don’t think Don has a solo but he’ll be there, my dancing boy.

This is the milkweed growing in front of the porch. There are at least 12 different plants. I’m hoping I can see a monarch butterfly caterpillar. I spotted one last year. I must be diligent and check the stalks every day.

Okay. Have to go. I will probably take tomorrow and Monday off as they will be travel days. And full of emotion. I’ll see you on Tuesday.

Happy Saturday.

Thoughts on Wednesday

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Penstemon growing wild down by the road.

I worked on the new shade bed yesterday. I added some compost, planted the hostas I bought last week and transplanted the hosta and the heuchera that I had planted in the big garden bed earlier this spring. Because of the loss of some big maple limbs in various storms, it’s really not shady enough to support those two plants. So, they are now in the shade garden.

The ten milkweed plants that are right by the porch are blooming and the scent is heavenly. But something out there, whether it’s the milkweed or some other culprit, is making my allergies flare up. I sat on the porch this morning and I’m definitely feeling worse. Hmmm…

A freakish early morning glory. I plant both blue and purple morning glories and the purples always grow more quickly than the blues. I was surprised to see this little bloom this morning and it brought a smile to my face. Clearly, the bugs love the leaves.

You certainly don’t have to comment on this, but since this is a very difficult week for us, I will be sharing my thoughts on the closing of Margaritaville. Don always calls me as he’s walking away from the theater after having signed autographs outside the stage door. Last night, as we were talking, people kept stopping him to tell him how much they loved the show. I can hear the conversations in the background as Don tells me to ‘hold on’ while he chats with everyone. He loves people, he loves the show, he loves the character he plays, and most importantly, he loves bringing joy to the audience members. When I hear these conversations, I am reminded, once again, of what an enormous loss this is. For the cast and crew and creatives, for the audience members who come back again and again, and for my husband. I love him so much and my heart breaks for him. He, being the man he is, is trying to keep a positive attitude, but I know he is hurting.

We are well aware of the blessings that have come to us via this show and we acknowledge them all the time. Maybe something else will come along, maybe not. But it won’t be this show, this role. Don has been acting professionally for over 40 years and he has done every kind of role there is, from Shakespeare and Shaw to Frasier  to L.A. Law  to PBS American Experience  to Escape to Margaritaville. He has always felt that this role was a perfect fit. I’ve certainly never seen him happier with a role and I’ve been with him almost 24 (next week) years.

I’ve also never seen such a closely knit cast full of beautiful souls.

Sunday is going to be a very emotional day.

I think about it all the time and I can’t even type this without crying. It is what it is, I know that. But what it is, sucks.

Deep breath. Off to recycle and buy some more mulch. We may – fingers crossed – get some rain today.

Happy Wednesday.

Lambs Like to Party

Lambs Like to Party

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