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You are here: Home / Archives for life

The Answer

October 16, 2019 at 8:35 am by Claudia

Late in the day yesterday, I found a surprise rosebud in the memorial garden. Wonderful!

We had a lovely day together in Rhinebeck yesterday. Perfect sunny and beautiful fall weather. Don found a couple of books, I found two, as well, we had lunch at a pizzeria that has been there for years – we had paninis – and we walked around town for a bit. It’s a rare day when we are together on one of these little daytrip adventures. Usually, we’re running errands, etc., separately. Today, we’re going to run another errand together. Too much togetherness? Nah.

I’ll share a bit more of Rhinebeck with you tomorrow, but here is one of my favorite old houses on the main drag. I think it may have been converted into a business.

I love the charm of Carpenter Gothic homes.

As to our trip –

No, we’re not going to Michigan. (Don drove there last January to retrieve my stuff from my friend’s basement.)

No, we’re not off on a leaf peeping trip. We don’t really need to do that as we live in a place that is spectacularly beautiful in the Fall. People come from all over just to spend the weekend here.

No, the miniature show in Philadelphia is not until November and I’m not sure I’m going to go anyway.

No to any spot in New England – it’s lovely, but I used to live there, and both Don and I have spent a lot of time there over the years, separately and together.

No to Florida, though we do need to go there in the next year to see family and Little Z.

No to Canada, though my family is from Canada and it’s beautiful, but I’ve also spent a lot of time there over the years. No to Montreal, though we haven’t been there and do want to visit someday.

We’re going to Paris.

A few months back, Don stood up and said: “We’re going to Paris.” I was surprised, to say the least. But he knew how much I longed to go back there. Turns out he did, too. We talked about it all the time.

We had the usual discussions about timing and money and is this a good idea and all the things that creep into any conversation about this sort of thing. Especially from me.

We thought about it all day long and decided to go. I wrote to the hotel we stayed in last year and they told me they were booked through October 19th, so we decided to leave on the 20th and made our reservation. We got a pretty good deal on our air fare. We set aside money from our recent respective jobs for the cost of the hotel.

Then we had to pay additional taxes.

This week, I thought long and hard about it and brought the whole thing up to Don and said, “Maybe we shouldn’t go.” I reeled off a list of maybe-in-the-future expenses, some quite probable, some not. Our plane tickets are non-refundable, so we’d be out that money, but we could cancel the hotel up until 24 hours before our arrival.

Maybe we should just stay home.

We gave ourselves 24 hours to think about it. I meditated and really didn’t get any sense of direction. Every time I saw a photo of Paris, I felt sad. Anyway, later that day Don said, “Of course  we’re going to Paris!” I said I didn’t want to talk about it until the next morning. But by the next morning, I felt fairly positive about the whole thing (an answer?) Turns out, the day before, Don had secretly bought tickets to a production of Moliere’s The Miser  at a well known theater near the Eiffel Tower. So he had already made his decision.

So we’re going.

Here’s the thing: we wanted to go a second time because who knows what life has in store and maybe this is the one chance we’ll get to go. We wanted another week there in which we were freed from frantically trying to see everything and, instead, could just be. Where we could sit in the park for hours, if we wanted to. Where we could explore neighborhoods. Where we could sit in a cafe for an entire afternoon, should we choose to. Where we could walk along the Seine and hold hands and celebrate our anniversary and get away from the chaos in our country for a week.

So we’re going to do it. We leave on Sunday night, will arrive on Monday. And we’ll head back home the following Tuesday. We’re doing it on a budget. We just want to soak up the atmosphere and beauty of that incredible city.

I often react from a place of fear. I’m working on being practical yet not sinking into fear. I can’t control the future, nor should I try. But that’s what I attempt to do time after time. So many times in my life, I have made decisions based on a fear of the unknown or of what might  happen. Cautious Claudia was one of my childhood nicknames.

Life is too short not to go for it.

We’re excited. It was just yesterday, by the way, that we shelved our idea of cancelling the trip.

Anyway, there’s your answer.

Happy Wednesday.

Filed Under: France, life, Paris 85 Comments

Sunday

October 6, 2019 at 9:35 am by Claudia

Sleep was fleeting last night. We found out we owe even more on our federal taxes than we already paid when we filed the extension. This new tax law has really screwed us, plain and simple. I get very stressed by the knowledge that the same thing will happen next year and we only have so much money in our savings account.

But I’m projecting – I’m the Queen of Projecting – and I just have to settle down and breathe. As Don reminds me, there’s only now.

As it was, I found this out right before we were headed to bed. (Not a good idea to read those emails late at night.) I sat in bed trying to read and when it came time to turn out the light, my anxiety level was so high that I made the decision to come downstairs and take a bath. That really helped. But I woke up early and couldn’t turn my brain off.

Ah, well.

Adding to that bit of news is the fact that we have little mystery trip planned in two weeks, so the timing isn’t the best. Nevertheless, we’re going ahead with our trip because life is too short and, to sanitize what I would normally say, “Screw it, we’re doing it anyway!”

Don just left to take some pictures at the Farmers Market, though rain is expected this afternoon. I’m going to keep busy and do some chores around here. I mowed yesterday and mulched a ton of leaves. We also celebrated Doug’s birthday with some cake (I didn’t partake) and a rousing round of “Happy Birthday.”

Happy Sunday.

Filed Under: life 28 Comments

Sunday

September 29, 2019 at 10:06 am by Claudia

There are even more leaves on the ground today because we had heavy rain last night. As always happens, the area that I raked is completely covered in leaves again. But, they’re awfully pretty and I love sitting here in my chair watching leaves drift slowly down to the ground. So does Don.

Thank you so much for your comments yesterday. And thank you for sharing your stories. I know it isn’t easy, but it is a comfort knowing we are not alone in these experiences. Everyone’s is different, of course, but there are common threads, as well. When I write this kind of post, I am always amazed by the heartfelt responses. Those of us who grew up with alcoholism in our family, or who are dealing with it now, know how painful it is. And yes, it does leave scars.

For all those who have seen the effects of alcoholism in their families, who are suffering from the estrangement of family members, I wish you peace.

I read your comments to Don, who was deeply moved by all of them.

Thank you, my friends.

Happy Sunday.

 

 

Filed Under: life 18 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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