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Stumbling & Relearning Life’s Lessons

May 22, 2014 at 8:12 am by Claudia

butterfly

I’m not going to lie to you. The past month or so has been Tough. Stressful. Worrisome. Sad. Fearful.

Oh, I could go on and on with that list.

In fact, you might have a list not unlike mine. Everyone has a list.

(That list also includes Happy, by the way.)

I’ve lost my mother. A dear friend and colleague of ours, the man who directed Don in Pygmalion and with whom I worked several times, died. A friend of Don’s has been diagnosed with ALS. We’re worried about work or rather, lack of work, and money.

Yesterday was a particularly hard day, which started off with learning that a dear friend of mine has cancer. Then another thing happened that sent Don and I into worry/stress mode. From there, I stayed in a place which was fear-filled and tense. So when I reacted to something else that happened later in the afternoon, I came from a place of fear, rather than peace.

I won’t get into the details, but suffice to say that instead of waiting before I reacted to an email, I immediately responded. That is never a good thing. I should have been more business-like. Later in the evening, when I reread my response, I was ashamed of myself.

That was not the real me speaking. But it was, indeed, the fearful me speaking. And I’m never at peace when fear takes over.

This is a lesson I have learned and relearned my whole life long. You’d think that by this point in my life, I would have learned it for good. No more coming from fear. Wait for a few hours before I respond to anything that upsets me. If you asked me for advice on how to respond to something, I would tell you to take a deep breath and wait before you react.  I’ve given that advice more times than I can count.

Apparently, I don’t always take my own advice.

I made amends, or at least, I hope that I made amends. I apologized.

But I find it particularly daunting to be at this stage of my life, supposedly mature and wise with many life lessons learned, only to backslide and find myself back at the bottom of the hill. Is life an endless set of lessons to be learned? Is it like the movie Groundhog Day, where you find yourself repeating the same events, the same lessons, over and over? Do we ever gain even a modicum of wisdom?

I know that I am certainly wiser than I was as a twenty-something. I hope that I am more loving, more kind, more of everything that is good. But I am only human. I make mistakes. Though the perfectionist in me doesn’t want to admit any shortcomings, I have them. Boy, do I have them.

I am sure that fear is the most lethal of emotions. Fear breeds ignorance and hate and disrespect and knee-jerk reactions and defensiveness and all things negative. Fear is the absence of love. Love should be all. Love breeds peace and joy and respect and care and all things positive and good.

I know all of that in my head and, a lot of the time, in my heart. But not all of the time, which is what happened to me yesterday. Today I woke up feeling chagrined but determined to do and be better.

Do you find yourself relearning the same lessons? Do you stumble along the way?

I sure do.

Happy Thursday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

 

Filed Under: life 85 Comments

Evolution of the Dollhouse – Part 3

May 6, 2014 at 9:15 am by Claudia

dhevolutiongraphicI’m finally adding a graphic for this series. Better late than never!

When last we met, I had added wood floors to the living room, den and kitchen. What did I do next?

dhrenovationbedroomfloor2

I added a floor to the bedroom. My back story for the bedroom was that it had been an unfinished attic before the homeowner started her renovation and had wide plank floors that were damaged. She wanted to keep those floors, so she painted them white to cover up any damaged floorboards. Unfortunately, I didn’t take a photo until I had added the wallpaper and part of the trim. (Boy, I cannot tell you what a difference a good camera makes – I’ve tried to improve these older, pre-current-camera photos, but there’s only so much a photo editing program can do!)

Anyway, I used wider craft sticks that were the size of a tongue depressor, cut off the rounded ends, painted each one individually and then glued them in place.

Next: I added wallpaper and some window trim. I was nervous about wallpapering; I’d never done it in my life-sized abodes, but it definitely seemed the thing to do in the dollhouse. I researched lots of dollhouse mini wallpaper manufacturers. A lot of it was very predictable – cutesy “country” images that were not my taste, designs that were too childlike. I wanted timeless sophistication.

I found Itsy Bitsy Mini, a website that carries the most beautiful patterns. Eventually, I settled on 4 different wallpaper designs for the living room, den, bedroom and kitchen. You can order wallpaper paste/glue that is easy to use from any miniature site. The wallpaper comes in sheets. My method was to cut a template for each wall out of regular paper, label it, then trace the template onto the wallpaper. I did all of this very carefully. “Measure twice, cut once” goes for dollhouses, too. Some miniaturists choose to glue the wallpaper onto cardboard and then attach it onto the wall, but I just glued it directly onto the walls.

dhrenovationlrwallpaper

This was the pattern I chose for the living room. Confession: I loved it so much that I used the same pattern, in blue, for the den. For this wall, I measured the length and height of the wall, cut the sheet, and attached it to the wall. Then, I cut around the window and the door with an exacto knife. For me, that works much more easily than cutting the windows and doorways out before pasting. Less room for error.

I also bought trim and corner blocks for each of the windows. After wallpapering, I measured the trim, painted it, and finished out the windows.

dhrenovationdenwallpaper

Here’s that same wallpaper in blue in the den, with trim added to the windows.

dhrenovationkitchenwallpaper

I chose an old-fashioned, charming design for the kitchen. This room marks the start of adding beadboard to the lower half of each wall. I ended up doing that in the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. (I got the beadboard, which is vinyl, from miniatures.com. Sometimes I wish I had done all the beadboard in real wood, but I didn’t. Next dollhouse.) I measured the beadboard the same way I measured the wallpaper. I also painted it so it looked less vinyl-y. Here you can see the kitchen in progress; beadboard in place, wallpaper attached, trim around the window and the beginnings of the chair rail.

dhrenovationbedroombricks

I did the same thing in the bedroom. Beadboard, chair rail, and wallpaper. I chose a small, flowery wallpaper for this room. Do you remember me mentioning that when this dollhouse was assembled by the previous owner, somehow a section of the cladding ended up inside the bedroom? Don’t ask me how, but there was cladding/siding in this room. That wouldn’t do. I wanted to cover it up and finally came up with the idea of using these faux bricks that are sold in sheets. I measured the area where the cladding was – a triangle of sorts – and made another template, which I traced onto the bricks. Then I painted them and glued them to the cladding. I like the look, which reminds me of the painted brick chimney in MHC’s living room.

You can see that I had also started to add baseboards in each room at this point.

Lots of time spent measuring, cutting, gluing. Every time I thought I had enough trim for the baseboards and moldings, I ended up running out and I had to order more. Sometimes I measured incorrectly and had to chuck a piece or recycle it in another part of the house.

Just like in real life.

More in this series soon.

I wrote about this yesterday, but I wanted to add it again today. I’ve changed some things in the settings for the email delivery of this blog’s posts, since recent changes by major email carriers have virtually stopped the delivery of blog subscriptions. (See yesterday’s post for an explanation.) Since I subscribe to my own blog via AOL, Gmail and Yahoo, I can monitor the delivery by those carriers. After making adjustments, I’m getting the posts again on AOL and Gmail. Not in Yahoo. Susan researched some of this and found that Yahoo, AT&T and SBC Global have merged, so if you subscribe via one of these carriers, you still may not be receiving updates. It isn’t a Feedburner problem. It comes from the email delivery services who are trying to stem the tide of spam and spoof emails. Can you let me know if you are receiving your email subscriptions? If you aren’t, you might want to consider subscribing via another email address, or, as I have mentioned frequently, bookmark the site. Cause that’s about all I can do at this point. xo

Happy Tuesday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

Filed Under: decorating, DIY, dollhouse, life 30 Comments

A Late Spring

April 30, 2014 at 8:35 am by Claudia

I’m thinking that Spring is about three weeks behind this year. If I didn’t know what date it was, I would assume it was the beginning, rather than the end, of April. A long, hard winter and a late-in-coming spring. Yesterday? Rain. Today? More rain. I do take comfort in the fact that we will reap the benefits of all that moisture, whether snow or rain, in lushness of growth.

wedbiggardenbed

This is the large garden bed. I took this photo yesterday. Last fall, when I was away in Hartford, a huge maple limb came down in a storm and fell on the garden. It stretched all the way across the middle of the bed.

wedsawadust

You can see the sawdust that still remains – a remnant of all the chainsaw activity the day after the storm. It was late September when I returned home, so I had no idea what plants might have been destroyed because of the damage. This perennial bed has been lovingly established over the past eight years and the thought of losing any of the plants made me very sad.

The good news is it looks like all is well. I can see the beginnings of most everything that was in the path of that limb. Time will tell, but it looks better than I thought it would.

wedhyacinths

The hyacinths (mystery bulbs that I found deeply buried in one of the other garden beds) are gorgeous this year.

wedhydrangea

My Annabelle hydrangea, ever reliable, is leafing out.

wedsedum

Sedum Autumn Joy, long established when we moved here, is blessing us with its beauty.

wedlilacs

The lilacs are ready to open. (The blue tarp around our chimney is protecting us from leaks until we can scape together the money to repair it.)

wedmysterytree

We’ve been doing a lot of bramble clearing and we have the wounds to prove it. What a pain in the tush – and the arms and the legs! We were clearing some of the brambles that are near the shed when I noticed this young tree, which was about to be overwhelmed by those pesky, thorny branches. I’m happy to say it has been freed. Does anyone know what kind of tree this is? The leaves are the maroon color of a Japanese or Norway Maple, but it is neither. I have a tree book somewhere around here and I’m determined to solve this mystery!

wedweigela

And the weigela bush (it’s not a tree), like clockwork, has beautiful buds ready to open. I love this bush.

wedweigela2

Aren’t they beautiful?

I spent most of the day on Monday outside, clearing out garden beds, cutting back lavender plants near the kitchen, neatening up the stone edge that surrounds all the beds, pulling weeds.

I am passionate about gardening. I love it all, but I especially love perennial gardening. It takes patience. It’s not an instant garden. But one of the great joys of living here after years and years of apartment living and/or house renting has been the opportunity to create my very own gardens. The only bed that was established when we moved here was right next to the house and that area had only a few hostas and sedums. Everything else I’ve added over time. The beds now stretch from the driveway to the far side of the house, from the chicken wire fence to the shed. I love my gardens and I’m proud of them.

I wrote a post in 2012 called: Why I love Having a Perennial Garden. You might find it interesting.

Gardening, that meditative and peaceful process, takes me to another place where I lose all sense of time, which makes it the perfect activity during this period of mourning. It offers some respite from my grief.

It’s too early to plant seeds – that is at least another week away. But we did plant some wildflower seeds in an area to the left of the shed. I hope they take root. Our plan is to call it Shirley’s Wildflower Garden in honor of my mother. Cross your fingers.

On another, seemingly endless, note: Those of you who subscribe to this blog may have noticed a lack of posts lately. But in reality, except for Friday and Saturday of last week, I have been posting every day. This problem is due to Yahoo and AOL making changes in an effort to stop spam or spoof emails. I subscribe to this blog via Yahoo, AOL and Gmail and the only consistent delivery lately has been through Gmail, though I did get the post via AOL yesterday. I’ll say it again. Bookmark the blog. Visit directly. (Quite frankly, when you visit the blog directly, it helps my ad income.) Or subscribe through Bloglovin’. I’ve seen a few posts on how to fix this problem but the jury’s out as to whether it will work. So I’m not doing anything until I know, for sure, that the problem will be solved and that I’m not creating another problem in the meantime.

I’ve written about this several times but I’m still getting messages from some of you saying you haven’t received my posts lately. I can’t make you bookmark the blog’s URL or subscribe through Bloglovin’ but if you don’t, you probably won’t receive any updates. It’s up to you, my friends. I would sure hate for you to miss anything!

And finally, the winner of a copy of My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag…and Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha is Janet in Rochester. Congratulations, Janet! I’m sending you an email.

Happy Wednesday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

 

Filed Under: blogging, garden, gardening, life, spring 41 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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