Why that title? You’ll see later in the post.

Lots of leaves on the ground and on the roof. The very old maple starts dropping its leaves fairly early. It isn’t officially autumn but it sure looks like it around here.

Don’t tell me it’s time to start raking again. I’m not ready for it.

I had a bit of a meltdown last night. As you know, I headed out to buy jeans yesterday and, as always, it was a depressing experience. Most difficult was the realization that I had gained a lot  of weight. More than I had realized. Nothing like the funhouse mirrors in a store to shock you into reality. I found the whole experience so disheartening. I was a very thin woman well into my late forties so I was, I admit, spoiled by never having to watch my weight. All that has changed in the last 20 years and I often don’t recognize my body.

After making my depressing purchases, I came home. Don called to check on me and I shared my emotions. Later last night, as we were watching television, I found my thoughts circling back to my recent professional heartache. People I trusted completely betrayed me, each in a very particular way. The remembrance of that, along with my feelings about my body, made for a very insecure me. I guess, even though I’m usually pretty strong about what happened to me professionally, I’m not quite past the hurt.

Fortunately, Don was there and I cried in his arms. I’m feeling a little wiped out this morning but I suppose I needed the emotional release. Letting it out aids in healing.

We won’t even go into my anger over what is happening to Christine Blasey Ford, the brave woman who stepped forward, knowing it would change her life forever, to speak out against Brett Kavanaugh.  She is a patriot. Yet, her life has been threatened. She has gone into hiding to protect her family and children.

I saw posts on Twitter that gave her home address and phone numbers as well as calling her a b*tch. I reported them. But the damage was done. If I hear one more white republican male cast aspersions on her without even hearing her side of the story, automatically choosing to believe the man rather than the woman, I am going to slap someone – preferably, one of the smug members of the Senate Judiciary Committee. This is also coming from some women, which is even more appalling.

What have we come to? Death threats? Publishing private information? (Also called doxxing.) And then they have the gall to say (every time) “Why didn’t she come forward sooner?”

F them.

It happens rarely now on the blog, but it did happen the other day, so I will reiterate this. If, by this time, anyone supporting the liar-in-chief is still reading this blog and leaves a comment in support of IT, the comment is deleted and the commenter is blocked. This is my piece of real estate on the web. I pay for it. We would not invite anyone who supports that evil thing into our cottage because that support means tacit or overt agreement with a whole litany of evil things; bigotry, racism, misogyny, white nationalism, sexual assault, putting 12,800 children in cages, stealing children from their families, xenophobia, lying incessantly, trying to take away our rights, mocking the disabled, mocking a war hero – you can fill in the rest of the blanks. Not invited into my home on the web either. The time when I would try to have meaningful dialogue with a supporter is long past. It isn’t possible. It isn’t worth my time.

Okay. Deep breath.

Let’s close with a pretty fading zinnia. So lovely.

That beauty is what I’ll focus on for the rest of the day, partly to preserve my sanity, but also to remind myself of what truly matters.

Happy Wednesday.