life — Page 239

Saturday Morning Musings

November 9, 2013 at 8:44 am by Claudia

that'showthelightgetsinfordon

There was an earlier post on this blog where I used this photo. I also referenced these same lyrics by Leonard Cohen, but I placed the text below the photo. Then I decided to do this version for my husband.

Since I just started How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny last night, those words are on my mind again. (They also live on the chalkboard in the studio.) In her introduction, Penny, who often quotes poetry in her books, tells us about approaching Cohen to ask permission to use those lyrics. Fully expecting to pay a sizable fee for them, as is almost always the case with copyrighted text, she was amazed when Cohen told her she could use them for free. What makes that gesture even more amazing is the fact that he’d recently had all of his savings stolen by someone he had trusted. Such a generous spirit!

How the Light Gets In was released this year and that means, my friends, that I’m at the end of the series. At least, the end so far. Hurry, hurry Louise Penny! Write another Inspector Gamache Novel! And they are literary novels, in addition to being mysteries. She is simply a superb writer.

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Hot chocolate.

Need I say more? Yesterday, after a brisk walk late in the day, some hot chocolate seemed to be in order. I’m limiting my intake, though. I only allow this treat every 3 days or so as it has a sneaky way of adding on the pounds.

A mini rant: I don’t know if you’ve been following the situation with the Miami Dolphins. I’m not a football fan, but this has been all over the news. A player abruptly left the team after having been subjected to bullying by a fellow team member. The more I read about the atmosphere in the locker room and about the player accused of the bullying, the more disgusted I get. These are adults who should know better. And what really steams me are all the interviews with fellow players who blame the guy being bullied for not ‘standing up for himself’ instead of the guy who did the bullying.

What the? Why do these guys blame the victim instead of the perpetrator? I don’t care whether we’re talking about a small child or a big, burly football player – the victim is blameless.

Then, last night, I saw an excerpt from an interview with Tucker Carlson where he actually said that bullying is a ‘fad’ and implied we’re making too big a deal of it. Really? What planet is this guy living on? Tell that to the parents of a child who committed suicide because of bullying. Tell that to the victims who find their lives forever changed because they were bullied.

This sort of ‘suck it up and stand up for yourself’ mentality is simplistic and dangerous. It implies that victims of a crime choose to be victims. It’s just a step away from the ‘she asked for it’ response to a charge of rape.

No. Those who bully are the wrong-doers. They have to be brought to account. There is no excuse for it; whether online, in a school or on a professional football team.

Happy Saturday.

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Friendship: On Bonding Experiences

November 8, 2013 at 8:59 am by Claudia

frileaves2

We may have reached the point where my daily efforts to save the potted plants that live on the porch have become a losing battle. A quick scan at the 10 day weather forecast shows lows of below freezing every night.

Will I gracefully give up the ghost? Will I recognize that losing battle when I see it?

I think so. I’m starting to feel that sense of letting go. My geraniums, which were planted in the big white barrels that live by the Funky Patio, held on far longer than my other plants. But they, too, said goodbye a few days ago.

Sob.

Let’s see, this is November. I’ve got about 5 months until I see any significant new growth around here. That does not make Claudia a happy camper.

Did I ever tell you I was a camp counselor for two summers during my college years? I worked at a camp in Northern Michigan, a gloriously beautiful place that made my heart beat just a bit faster. The camp was owned by the Lutheran Church in America (the church I was raised in), which is now called something else – Evangelical Lutheran Church in America? Though it was church-based, it wasn’t overly preachy. Just my cup of tea. (The LCA was pretty liberal.) The spiritual experience was found in the beauty surrounding us, in the light of a campfire, in the fellowship of campers and counselors, in a loving atmosphere that encouraged growth, in a service in the outdoor chapel. I really loved it there. It was such a change from my college life. I think I earned $40 a week, so I wasn’t in it for the money. I met some wonderful people there, some of whom remain my friends to this day. I met my first love there. Magical, gloriously beautiful, with the smell of pine trees and the scent of a campfire in the air; that place had a significant effect on me. For years, I would make the trip back there for a visit.

It’s still there. But now I think that if, these many years later, I visited the camp once again, I might be disappointed. I sort of like the way it is in my memories. I don’t think I want to mess with that.

frileaves

When you work at a camp for the summer with a staff of fellow counselors, far away from home, they become your family, your source of support. There is a bond that develops more quickly than it would in your everyday life. It’s more intense. The same thing happens when you are acting in a play. That cast becomes your family. You need each other. You have to feel safe with them in order to take risks onstage. You create together. You are often out of town, away from your loved ones, and so your cast mates become your loved ones, your family. Then, suddenly, it’s all over and you are saying goodbye as you move on to the next thing.

The Rep company in Hartford has just gone through that kind of bonding experience. And as they head into their final weekend of performances, they will be sad that it is about to end. Grateful. But sad. They will head back to their homes and go through a period of re-entry, where the people they have spent every day with for months are suddenly gone. I’ve lived in that world for most of my adult life, as has Don. It is as familiar to us as riding a bike.

I’m so grateful that I have been able to work in those environments, where I have had the opportunity to meet so many wonderful people who have become my friends. Far, far more than I would have met in a normal 9 to 5 life.

I have a lot of families.

I’m very lucky.

Happy Friday,

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Come On, Really?

November 6, 2013 at 8:40 am by Claudia

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There is beauty in zinnias that have succumbed to freezing temperatures, have lost their brilliant color, yet still retain their shape and form. They are like earth-toned sculptures. I wanted to capture them with my camera before I start to clean up the Chicken Wire Fence Garden, which might be today. Or not. I also have to clean up the side of the house, where there is a greenish tinge on the siding that I have ignored far too long. That is definitely on the agenda for today.

A story from yesterday: Around noon, Don and I went to run some errands. We also stopped at our town hall to vote. After we voted, Don asked me if today could be the day we used a $25 gift card for Applebee’s that he had received as a gift last year. Okay, I said. I’d never been to an Applebee’s. I’ve found that most chain restaurants have a menu that is mostly comprised of meat and fish. I’m a vegetarian. But in the past few years, I’ve noticed that more and more of these chains have incorporated a veggie burger or a pasta dish that works for vegetarians into their menus, so I was hopeful.

We drove to Applebee’s.

The menu had virtually nothing for vegetarians. Even the salads had chicken or bacon or shrimp. Don started feeling guilty because I couldn’t find anything to eat. But after some discussion with our waitress, I discovered there was a three cheese grilled sandwich and a house salad that normally came with bacon, but that could, she assured me, be specially ordered without bacon. Okay. Good.

In the meantime, I started to look around the restaurant. There was a bar in the middle of the room with several television screens that I could see from my booth. There were also television screens in the dining area. One of the screens was showing Law and Order SVU. The others? A program that is all about deer hunters, deer hunting and killing those deer with crossbows.

Are you kidding me?

This is on in a restaurant? While people are dining?

Now, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know I am passionately anti-hunting. I abhor it. So being in a room with some frigging television screen projecting images of deer peacefully grazing and being stalked by men wearing camo is about as distasteful as it can get for me.

But, even if I was someone who didn’t have a problem with hunting, does my local Applebee’s really think that showing deer being hunted and killed is a good accompaniment to the dining experience? Does anyone want to see this stuff while they are eating?

I had one screen directly in front of me that was showing the program and one to my right. If Don, sitting directly across from me in the booth, moved his head ever so slightly, I was suddenly thrust into the world of deer hunting. If I turned my head slightly to the right, there it was again.

Really? What are people thinking? It was like we had been transported to some world dominated by survivalists and hunters instead of a large city relatively close to Manhattan.

The whole experience was unsettling and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. Yes, I know I could have asked them to change the channel but I didn’t want to stay there one minute longer than necessary.

Also, this brings to mind another question: Why do we need all those televisions on when we are dining? We can’t manage to get through 60 minutes or so without a screen in front of us? This certainly isn’t just happening at Applebee’s. It’s happening everywhere. Can’t we just talk? Or, if dining alone, read? Or be alone with our thoughts?

The cheese sandwich was very good. And my salad? Very good except for the 2 or 3 pieces of bacon I encountered.

I don’t eat out very often and my tastes are pretty simple. I’m not a demanding diner who sends things back. But no bacon is no bacon. And dining to the accompaniment of deer being killed is definitely not acceptable.

No more Applebee’s.

That’s my story from yesterday.

Happily, the day ended with watching A Streetcar Named Desire on TCM, with the brilliant performance of Vivien Leigh doing a great deal to erase those horrible images from earlier in the day. Thank goodness.

(In a bizarre sort of irony, what is showing up in my Adsense ads? Coupons for Applebee’s.)

Edited to add: Dear reader Lori, who manages an Applebee’s in South Dakota, wrote a wonderful comment assuring us that all Applebee’s are not like the one I went to. Maybe mine is the black sheep of Applebee’s? Thank you, Lori!

Happy Wednesday.

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Saturday Morning Musings

Friendship: On Bonding Experiences

Come On, Really?

Lambs Like to Party

A Note

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