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You are here: Home / Archives for life

A Thank You & Winding Down

May 23, 2013 at 8:56 am by Claudia

feather

I found this feather smack dab in the middle of a city sidewalk. It’s about 4 inches long. Is it from a Finch? A Baltimore Oriole? What do you think? It’s going home with me.

Edited to add: It’s from a Northern Flicker (Yellow-Shafted) – which is in the Woodpecker family!

Oh my! Thank you, thank you for the incredible conversation we had yesterday. For those of you who missed it, you can read it all here. I had no idea as I was wrangling with this topic yesterday morning that it would elicit such a strong response from all of you. Obviously, it struck a chord. The blogging world is ever changing. Some of the changes are wonderful; some not so wonderful. I’ve always compared blogging to being in high school and I’ve said that time and again on this blog. Wonderful friendships can be made, creativity can be encouraged and rewarded. But there are cliques. There are the ‘popular’ girls. There are mean girls. There are those who do their own thing, regardless of what is deemed popular. I had a great time in high school, but I was not one of the in crowd. I was in the theater/music crowd. I was never going to be a cheerleader and that was fine. I thrived where I was and found myself in the process.

Same thing for blogging, don’t you think?

Anyway, thank you. I found your comments stimulating and wise and funny and profound. Many of you raised points that I hadn’t thought of. What a great conversation!

carousel

Two more days in Hartford. One last Preview performance tonight and then Opening Night tomorrow. Once again, I failed to ride the carousel. What can I say? And once again, I didn’t tour Mark Twain’s house or Harriet Beecher Stowe’s house. But, I’ll be back again in about 7 weeks. I’ll do all of it then. (Fingers crossed.)

Today I have to find a pair of shoes to wear tomorrow night. (I really hate shopping for clothes or shoes.) I’m hoping that I find something quickly because I have to be at a short rehearsal at 2:30. All I want is a comfortable pair of black shoes. I’ll let the younger members of the cast wear the strappy high heels.

It feels like a Friday to me, but Happy Thursday.

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Filed Under: blogging, Hartford, life, On The Road 31 Comments

On Blogging: Why I No Longer Care About Stats and Competition

May 22, 2013 at 10:02 am by Claudia

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I’m thinking out loud here. Bear with me.

Though I’m sure I have a more than a bit of it in me, I’m not a super competitive person. When I recognize it rearing its ugly head, I feel uncomfortable. It’s not me. I don’t like what it brings out in me. I know there is a healthy form of competitiveness and, to a certain extent, it drives us to do better, to be better. When I used to audition for acting roles, which is all about competition, I was excited and triumphant if I was cast in the part. But usually, I didn’t see my fellow auditioners, so I was only in competition with myself, if that makes sense. I did the best I could and hoped it was enough.

Blogging has changed a great deal since I first started this blog over five years ago. What used to be a more intimate community of people sharing thoughts and ideas is now a much more competitive arena. Everyone is trying to get sponsors, ad income, affiliate links, big stats numbers. Everywhere I turn there is advice as to how to grow your  blog. I have benefited from some of that advice in the past. But now it’s all about numbers. How many visitors come to your blog, how long they stay, what other sites refer visitors to your blog, are you on google+ because you must be on google+, do the big bloggers consider you part of their pack, how much ad income do you generate, how many comments do you get, what’s your google ranking  – the list is endless.

And exhausting.

I’ve fallen prey to it in the past. I have to be honest about that. I took on ads because I needed the additional income. That income is very, very, very modest. I wanted bigger numbers because bigger numbers meant more ad income. I started posting every day because of it. (I’m glad I made that change – it’s a good discipline for me.) I looked at other blogs and wondered why they had such huge numbers. I still do. I felt a bit of resentment about the opportunities that seemed to come to younger bloggers and mommy bloggers but not to ‘seasoned bloggers’ as I call myself. I analyzed, assessed, compared and obsessed.

dogwood

Then I turned a corner. The sheer abundance of blogs out there left me feeling overwhelmed. And underwhelmed by lots of repetitive content. I saw blogs that I used to really enjoy for their personal, heartwarming content change into what might as well be called websites, for want of a better word. Every post became a tout for their business. I’ve stopped reading them. I’ve watched other bloggers try to come up with a new project, a new idea, all the time – and it was too much. I was exhausted for them. After seeing the first few blog posts about chevrons and pallets and grain sacks and horizontal stripes on walls, my eyes glazed over. How many times can you reinvent the wheel? The need to keep up, to find something someone else hasn’t blogged about, to generate constant new projects to keep stat numbers high – Oy. I know that lots of bloggers want to generate a healthy income from their blogs. I totally understand that. And many bloggers are perfectly content in that business-like, competitive atmosphere; indeed, even thrive in it. More power to them. I really mean that.

I don’t.

There, I’ve admitted it. I simply don’t thrive in a competitive atmosphere. I don’t want to. That’s part of the reason I left acting behind and became a teacher and coach.

That little fact doesn’t make me better, or worse, than anybody else. I’m not. I’m not condemning anyone. I’m just speaking about a change that has happened to me, in reference to this little blogging world of mine. Listen, let’s be totally honest here. I’d love to generate more ad income than I do. I’d love to get a book deal. I’m a good writer – I’m proud of my writing. I’d love to be considered a top blogger. I’m just like anybody else. I’ve worked hard over the past 5 years to create a place on the web that I’m proud of. I worked very hard on this blog’s design. The quality of my photography and my content is very, very important to me. But all of that is to please my aesthetic, to keep this blog at a level that I can be proud of and that enables me to connect to you in a meaningful way. Sometimes I fail. Most of the time, writing this blog makes me very happy. And that, my friends, is what is important to me; not numbers, not stats, not the latest way to get my blog out there, whether it be Pinterest or Facebook or Instagram or whatever – not any of it. Yes, I appreciate the extra income, and would I like more of it? Of course. In the end, however, it’s all about joy. And I don’t get joy from numbers (which might be the reason we file an extension every year with the IRS.) Numbers don’t do it for me. Numbers take away the heart and soul of what I do.

I am withdrawing from all that. I no longer read my stats. I no longer read all the articles about growing your blog. I don’t really care what my Google ranking is and you can’t make me care, so there.

The blog isn’t changing. My priorities about what is important for this blog have been clarified and strengthened. You are important to me. The quality of my content is important to me, but not because of a competition. Because of me. Because of you.

It’s awfully freeing.

Happy Wednesday.

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Filed Under: blogging, life 175 Comments

From My Heart: What I Believe

May 9, 2013 at 9:19 am by Claudia

elephants

The circus is in town. It was here last year at this time. I happened to be going back to the apartment on a break and saw the elephants walking down the street.

I took a picture (for this post) and then I had to get away from there. Quickly. The abuse of circus elephants has been well documented. You need only google that subject and a wealth of information will pop up. It makes me sick at heart. I never was a big fan of the circus, even as a child, but I certainly am not one now. Seeing these magnificent creatures being paraded down the street, away from their natural habitat, knowing what has been done to some of them, doesn’t bring me any joy.

If you’re a longtime reader of this blog, you have a good idea about my feelings on the subject of animal rights. I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat meat, fowl or seafood. I first became a vegetarian as a way to support my brother as he chose a macrobiotic diet to fight the cancer that was invading his blood and bones. In the mid-eighties, I stopped eating red meat. I occasionally had chicken, turkey and seafood. But eventually, I developed a strong moral sense that, for me, eating any animal was wrong. I believe strongly in trusting my heart and my conscience. Those two always-truthful guides have told me that this is the right path. For me. There are many loved ones and friends in my life who don’t agree with me, who follow another path. That’s okay. I respect their right to their own journey. I work hard at quietly living my life as a vegetarian. If asked, I will explain the reasons for my beliefs. And I never apologize for them.

Here’s my truth: I don’t believe I am superior to any animal, any insect, any being. We are equal. In fact, in view of the horrors man has perpetrated, I would go so far as to say animals are a step or two above us. Animals have feelings, emotions and feel pain. It’s been proven. Though some people choose to take the Biblical words about man having dominion over animals to mean that we can shoot and eat them, I take those words to mean we are entrusted with their nurturing and care. We are here to help them, not abuse or kill them. Nor can I imagine raising an animal, nurturing it, even naming it and then killing it for food, especially in this 21st century when we have so many other sources for food.

I’m not always perfect. I make mistakes. I have more to learn. But I do my best. I’m phasing out my leather shoes. I no longer buy leather purses. I’m trying to live mindfully. It’s a continual challenge, but it’s a cause I believe in with all my heart and mind.

If I’m reading a decorating magazine or looking at a blog and I see an animal head mounted on the wall that’s considered a design element, I have to close my eyes and move on. Same thing with cowhide rugs or animal skins of any kind. It seems barbaric to me – like we have reverted back to some other, almost prehistoric time.

I realize that many will disagree with me. However, I have to live my life the way my conscience and soul guide me. And yes, I believe that animals have souls. How can I believe that God created all of this abundant, vibrant, beautiful life in its many forms, yet only gave man a soul? What makes me superior? Nothing.

I’ve heard all the arguments before: if we didn’t hunt deer, they would starve to death, we are humanely thinning the overpopulation of animals, some people have to hunt to eat, animals don’t have souls, we are going back to the land and raising our own sources of meat, cow hides make pretty rugs, the stuffed animal was already dead, I got the deer head at a flea market.

It doesn’t take much imagination to write a short story where humans are the prey. Where we are trying to live peacefully, are bothering no one, yet live in fear of being hunted. In fact, many have been written already. Some would argue that it happens every day in real life. It happened to a former student of mine who was peacefully walking down a street and killed in a drive-by shooting. The murderers were driving around, looking for prey. They were hunting. I will never get over it. When this tragedy happens to a fellow human, we are outraged, rightfully so. For me, the outrage is just as powerful and deeply felt when it happens to an animal.

Who speaks for them? We have to.

This is one of those times, my friends, that I feel compelled to write. Where, over the course of the last 24 hours, I haven’t been able to think of much else. When that happens, I have to write a post. My intention is not to preach – I really dislike preachy posts. My intention is simply to share my heart with you. You read a lot about my life here; I share so much with you. Not sharing this very, very important part of who I am with you seems less than truthful and I believe in being honest. I may lose readers over this post. I hope that isn’t the case. I hope you can respect my very heartfelt feelings on this subject. But, in the end, if I do, so be it.

You are welcome to share your thoughts, as always, but please be respectful. I say that because, though I know almost all of my readers are indeed respectful, I have been attacked before because of my beliefs – attacked in a very mean-spirited way. I assume you know that you can’t change my mind on this one. And I’m not trying to change yours. I’m simply sharing my own personal thoughts and beliefs on a subject matter that is very important to me.

Writing with love for all,

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Filed Under: animals, life, vegetarianism 90 Comments

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Welcome!

Welcome!

I live in a little cottage in the country with my husband. It's a sweet place, sheltered by old trees and surrounded by gardens. The inside is full of the things we love. I love to write, I love my camera, I love creating, I love gardening. My decorating style is eclectic; full of vintage and a bit of whimsy.

I've worked in the theater for more years than I can count. I'm currently a voice, speech, dialect and text coach freelancing on Broadway, off Broadway, and in regional theater.

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