Friday, already! The school bus is back to being a daily occurrence, a particular sound on my radar. Students here have just about finished their first week in school. This morning on our walk (and boy did I not want to go on that walk) it was cold! It’s all relative, of course, but in early September morning temps in the fifties seem quite, shall we say, brisk!
I’ve had too little sleep for two days in a row, so it took every ounce of effort for me to chug along on our walk, but I’m glad I did it. Back inside, I made our second cup of coffee and we sat on the sofa for our morning chat.
Black walnuts, which are abundant on our property.
I finished Shakespeare and Company Paris. It’s a fascinating history of that historic bookshop and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I pulled out Grief is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter.
Max Porter is a British writer and this novel is unlike anything I’ve ever read. The use of language, the upending of the usual style of a novel, the subject matter – all of it makes for a compelling read. It’s short – 117 pages – which is why I finished it this morning and most likely won’t post it under “Currently Reading” on my sidebar. So I’ve posted it here for you.
Porter is really quite brilliant. And the ending is beautiful. I have his newest, Lanny, on my TBR pile here in the den.
And now I am faced with choosing another book to read within 12 hours of having to choose the last one!
I cleaned the dollhouse yesterday – by dollhouse, I mean the big one in the den. That usually means straightening up things that have become messy, reattaching things that have fallen off the wall, and ‘dusting’ with a small paintbrush.
I don’t know if you’ve been following on Instagram but I posted a couple of ‘series’ about the similarity between Caroline and me in Stories. The second one is still up there. The first is in my Highlights section under Miniatures. They were a lot of fun to do.
Incidentally, you’ll rarely, and I mean rarely, find me facing my iPhone camera and talking incessantly on Stories. I only did it once and it had to do with children being kept in cages at the Border. There seems to have been a memo sent out to young (and not-so-young) IGers that their audience wants to hear from them face-to-face as it were, sharing every single thing about their day with us. I know that a lot of people love these chats, but I just see them as extended selfies. Some people do it only occasionally. But others? On and on and on until I routinely skip over them. Or, depending on my mood, unfollow. (This is only my opinion, of course.)
I know it’s generational and also my own aversion to constantly posting pictures of myself. Who wants to see that all of the time? I sure as heck don’t. Most of my posts are centered on the garden or the house or something I’ve seen on the road, or books I’ve read. An occasional picture of Don or me.
But this is the selfie generation and it sort of drives me nuts. One of the most troublesome examples of selfie-mania was something we observed in the Louvre. All these young people waited in line to see the Mona Lisa and when they finally got up to the front, what did they do? Took a picture of themselves with the Mona Lisa behind them. They didn’t stop and look at the painting. They immediately took the selfie and then moved on.
“Let’s see, a picture of the Mona Lisa itself because, how cool, I got to see the exquisite Mona Lisa in person, or a picture of ME in primary focus with the Mona Lisa a bit blurry in the background?” It takes a lot of chutzpah to opt for the latter.
Oh well. It is what it is. My parents raised me not to talk about religion (it’s private), politics (I obviously failed that one), or to make every conversation about yourself. These things were verboten in our household. Humility was Shirley’s mantra. That, and saying please, thank you, and being respectful to your elders.
Not a bad way to be raised.
Happy Friday.
We have requests for prayer at our church and every Sunday that is what I put on the prayer card
Pray for the children in the cages
It really makes me sick to my stomach
Also the people in Puerto Rico that are still suffering
I better end this because it is too upsetting what is happening in our country and world
I agree, Linda. Very, very upsetting. xo
I can’t get through a lot of the face-to-face IG posts either. And some of them are from posters I really like and identify with. Must be the generational thing. (I do find myself racing through the individual photos in those wordy stories, which obliterates the words, though.) I also don’t care for the ones that contain loud music in the background/foreground! Oh, the curmudgeon in me is taking over, but I don’t care.
Your zinnias are pretty. I saw some in a nearby yard and was struck by the size of them. They must have been three feet tall! I remember zinnias in my mom’s garden being sorta shorties—under a foot tall. Different varieties or faulty memory?
Different varieties. They come in tall and shorter versions.
The music makes me crazy too. Years ago, when blogging first started, bloggers would put this music player on their blogs and when you clicked on the blog you were assaulted by the music. I had my volume permanently set on 0. Now we have the same thing on Stories.
I was raised with the same standards as you and I’m very proud of my upbringing. We’ve raised our two children the same way and they have raised their children (our five grandchildren) with the same standards. We are very proud of our family.
Hope you and Don have a wonderful weekend.
The same to you and yours, Cathy! Thank you.
Black walnuts are my favorite nuts, especially in homemade fudge and chocolate chip cookies. I don’t understand the whole selfie thing. Seems like an opportunity missed coming to viewing the Mona Lisa. The winds have finally calm down from Dorian. Our electricity is back on. Got yard debris to clean. I remember about the blogs and the music. Your zinnias are beautiful. I try to avoid the religion and politics topics too unless I know that person well. I am not very good and quick of tongue to defend what I believe.
Glad to hear you’re okay after Dorian, Trina!
my upbringing was (happily) similar to what you described and i am infinitely grateful to and for my parents for everything they’ve done for my brother, sister and me!
i am thankful for cooler weather, too, and that today is friday!
hope you have a great weekend!
kathy in iowa
You, too, Kathy! I’m tired today so I’m just hanging around the house.
I’m betting your mom and my mom grew up about the same time…as I was taught the same things. But, I too, slip on the politics category all the time.
There’s a lot of sharing on the internet…too much in my opinion. And quite frankly, people are so busy documenting their lives…they aren’t enjoying them. This is my opinion from what I’ve observed.
Enjoy your day! ;)
Very good point. How can you live and be in the moment if you’re busy documenting it? Thanks!
The last thing I want to do is take selfies. UGH!!! What I wouldn’t give to see the Mona Lisa. xo Laura
It’s pretty spectacular Laura. Rather small in size, but so beautiful!
We are of the same generation. One reason why I’m not on instagram. Have you watched The Great Hack on Netflix? It almost makes me never want to open social media or answer a question again!
What a dilemma — choosing a book! I can relate!
Yes, I’ve seen it. Most of it I already knew as I followed the Cambridge Analytica debacle very closely.
I do love Instagram, however. I’d leave FB in a minute, but it’s my contact point with former students and I don’t want to give that up.
In my earlier days, I thought I had to document ‘my life’ in pictures, capture all my adventures with a camera, ‘way before selfies and internet/smart phones. But I did realize at one point that I was more focused on the shot than the actual experience, so I reined back on that addiction (although certainly our photos prompt memories we might otherwise lose). I think I was fixated on what the photos said about ‘me’ rather than what they were actually OF, like a monument or beautiful landscape or street scene or whatever. It wasn’t about any good sense of self. It was more about “Look at me; look what I’m doing; aren’t I special.” Why did I need that validation? Sad.
Last time we went to the beach, oh-I-dunno (guess) maybe ten days ago, I watched so many young people taking the selfies with their phones so they could get the ocean as backdrop, but they weren’t connecting with each other and instead just sitting off isolated, alone, scrolling, eyes down, no talking; totally missing the environment around them – – which, if they could have just taken some quality minutes to put the phone down, there was SO much to feel and see; listen to (birds, waves, sand, breeze, dogs; and, yes, all kinds of people to meet & greet). What if you’re a young woman and you just missed the guy walking by who could have been the love of your life, ’cause you didn’t look up? It’s like their ‘whole world’ is in that piece of metal and plastic in their hand, with whatever audience they have in cyberspace which must be a whole lot more interesting to them than the real people they could reach out to, just mere feet away, to say hi, chat, shake a hand. I’ll never understand. So diff from when I was at that age at the beach, when our only device was a transistor radio laying beside us on the beach towel. I do try to understand the current phone addictions and selfies trend but I think it’s about a lot of self-absorption. But I’m ranting…
I think it’s so nice that you and Don have your morning chats.
As I unearth my house (home appraisal next week; clearing out for home improvement work; moving so much to offsite storage), I’ve found a TON of dollhouse accessories I’ve purchased over time. Darn good thing because I now have too many dollhouses to furnish. Big projects ahead for me in 2020, but I’m looking forward to it, and it’s all because of you, Claudia!
We’re in for another brutally hot, sticky day in my part of SoCalif; days on end of it. We might cool slightly tomorrow. We peak every day at about 93 degrees. It’s usually still in the 70s at midnight. We maybe get to high 60s in the wee, wee hours; briefly.
I feel so badly for the people in the Bahamas and of course everywhere (U.S. now, too) where tragedy has stuck due to the hurricane. I saw a veteran photographer/storm chaser interviewed on The Weather Channel who’d just come from the Bahamas (didn’t know from where exactly he was speaking but seems HE got out somehow, from the worst of it anyway) and he said people are wandering around dazed in the rubble, nobody can get in to help them; perhaps they’ve lost loved ones or have others who are injured and can’t help the suffering; they’ve lost shelter and all the basics for survival; imagine with no power or water or food, and likely tropical-heat weather (I’m not very geographically oriented to that part of the world), so how can I complain about heat and humidity where I am right now, when I can go inside to cooled air and get an icy drink.
Just wanted to follow up and say I hope you got some rest today, Claudia (feeling better!).
And I was thinking about what you posted:
not to talk about religion or politics (private);
and I think I was also counseled about being careful what I said about race, to never offend,
to not have bias
stay a bit under the radar; don’t make every conversation about yourself
or be the center of attention; don’t put a spotlight on yourself (you don’t need a spotlight; you’re good enough just the way you are and how God made you; you don’t need extra applause from anybody else; being conceited or boastful is not attractive)
please and thank-you manners, absolutely
be respectful to others (elders & elderly, neighbors, those who suffer with disabilities; children; pets; etc.)
Amen on all of the above; exactly as you and some of your readers have said here, Claudia. I’ve realized, too, how much I’ve come away from some of my parents’ other teachings also, like to have a certain reserve and not dish on everything or every topic; let somebody else speak, and do contribute if it’s something worthwhile but you don’t have to give away every single last detail of your life or brain. It’s not that they were against creative expression but, like you say, they believed in the virtue of humility. Have some composure; have some dignity. Be patient and composed. It’s elegant! I definitely can forget that and be ‘way too candid, a spiller and a dumper. Or feeling a need to fill up any pause or space in a phone call or face-to-face conversation; just jump in. Some kind of nervousness sets up although I’m trying to improve, always.
My parents had deep convictions but weren’t so quick to speak or share; they’d answer thoughtfully and weigh it a little before just spewing away on a subject. They didn’t just go off with every little thing that popped up in their minds. And my mom hated any conversation that bordered on crass or behavior that was brash; certain subjects were just taboo for her. They (previous generation to us) weren’t as open as their boomer kids; no oversharing, for sure. I’d heard both my parents and other older people say that THEIR parents just didn’t do a whole lot of talking to kids, and the kids didn’t bring up a whole lot of subjects with their parents either. There just wasn’t talky-feely conversation going on.
So, were the boomers the generation that simply broke thru that barrier? I’m trying to remember growing into young womanhood, didn’t the mags and books and TV shows all encourage us to verbalize, communicate our feelings, open up, ‘find’ ourselves, bare your soul, not play games when it came to words and thoughts and intent, and did it stem from the hippie thing of being real and honest/authentic or whatever (“me” generation)? I don’t think my parents wanted to be stripped down and have to expose their innermost feelings. They could only ‘tune in’ so far. When my young brother died, I wanted to talk it out with them but Dad actually said to me, ‘Your mom and I can’t go there; we can’t go that deep (we can’t go too deep).’ I guess he knew his limitations.
Have I ever even thought about this, any of this, much indepth? Hmmm. I have to think if there’s anybody I know in my age group who does practice reserve; I seem to remember more loudmouths than not. I do have a friend who’s half-Brit and if she’s got a problem, we don’t hear about it; she really keeps personal things close to the vest, yet I’ve known her since I was age 12, which is a lot of years for us as we’re retirees now; her mother was a lovely, strong English lady who marched thru a lot of life’s difficulties with real courage, keeping a lot of it to herself and never wanting pity. Definitely ‘keep calm and carry on’. I admired her so much.
I had some wild single days before I got married and I can remember thinking bold and being shocking was cool and exciting; wasn’t very ladylike. Makes me cringe. I’m glad it was a long time ago. The ‘girl’ I was, embarrasses the woman I am now.
I’m going to have to ponder all of this. I do find as I age that I go back to how my parents lived and how they conducted themselves and, yes, not a bad thing but a good thing; they had so much of it right. And they got it right early on, so it meant that the majority of their long adult lives was lived well. They had a certain control in their life that I lack; it’s when a border or boundary is good and comforting; the ritual of routine. A good framework. Rhythm to daily life was honored. A steady flow to the days. No big spontaneous surprises. Not much deviating from the daily schedule. Keeps the soul serene. When I was young, I thought it was TOO BORING. Now, I just feel that how they lived was brilliant.
Maybe it’s because they had to mature early, having to deal with hardship in The Great Depression, then going into World War II with so much seriousness and danger/fear about their universe, needing to be out there making money and trying to make ends meet as young people, to help out the family when there were shortages of everything needed for everyday life; wasn’t a whole lot of time to just sit around and commiserate about personal expression and freedoms or lack thereof. They needed a plan for each day, working hard at everything, no idle hands – – or else they could also just go crazy with worry. The physicality of their day’s work was grounding; something to rely on. If there was a bit of personal time left at the end of the hard day, maybe some reading, listening to the radio or even playing the piano. Life was otherwise truly pared down to essentials. They had such uncertainty; maybe it allowed them to zero in, early-on, as to what was most important to them, what they knew to be good; what needed to be preserved, no matter what happened with the war and how their lives would end up.
I had another friend’s Greatest Generation mother say to me one time, having grown up in the Depression like my folks, then living in a country altered by war abroad and subsequent sacrifices on the homefront, “You girls (we were in our late 20s or early 30s) spend so much time talking about ‘feelings’ and trying to figure yourselves out; we never had the luxury to think about our lives, we worked from dawn to dusk just trying to get food on the table, clothes washed and hung on the line, then sewn and mended because we couldn’t buy anything new; there were so many household tasks to keep us busy from the time we awoke (cooking, cleaning, tending the edible garden and canning the vegetables to stock the pantry; collecting eggs from the chickens; one thing after another) that we had no time for anything but the chores and/or other work we did outside the home (for a paycheck); it was all about trying to make it in hard times without having to lean on anybody else, and we only had 24 hours in a day to get everything done that needed to get done, hoping one or the other of us didn’t get sick. We had no time to think about the direction of our lives, and if we were fulfilled or unfulfilled.” (She looked at personal assessment as ‘fluff’, I think…)
Good sides and bad sides to either side of the conversation, but I’ve been interrupted about 20 times since I tried to write this so I’m probably making no sense in thinking of any divide between The Greatest Generation and the boomers, like two extremes, where’s the middle ground and is that, then, where we find ourselves now, at this age, taking the best of both generations from that middle mark, and just trying to live as well as we can in these last years. I’m glad my parents guided us kids with good principles and morals by which to live. It doesn’t ever really leave you; you get it back even if you’ve lost it for awhile. I’m grateful my folks lived by example; they walked the talk.
xo
It’s important to be fully present and when we’re constantly taking selfies, we aren’t.
I agree with he post and comments. My pet peeve is people who are obviously on dates but aren’t engaging with each other, and busy taking photos of their food. Whatever happened to conversation, or just gazing into each other’s eyes? I miss eating out with my husband, talking, feeding each other tidbits from our plates, and just being together, before the era of “smart”phones.
I so often see people completely immersed in phones – and they’re simply not talking to each other. Thanks, Wendy.
I echo your sentiments exactly about the selfies and the IG stories. I’ve had to unfollow several IGers because of their constant selfie stories. I find those vain and annoying.
Too many selfies, too – ugh. Instant turn-off. I’m so glad my (28-year old) son isn’t into those. My cousin’s wife who’s in her early 40’s posts selfies all the time. I’ve had to unfollow her on FB because of this. She’s a news anchor and very into herself.
I find them vain, as well.
Isn’t ‘unfollow’ a blessing? I try not to resort to it too often but in the case of constant selfies? Yes. Immediately.
Oh, I know my age is showing, but I can barely stand to go on FB. I don’t care what people had for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day…(nor do I need pictures)….or where they are from the minute they leave work or their home…. and I worry about people who post pictures of their little ones at their school or a park because of safety & security reasons. And it truly amazes me when people announce on FB that they are leaving on a vacation. At least wait until you get home to share those pics!! (wow! I am an old woman!!) Those were the rules as I grew up, too. And for my kids. I think common sense is a missing ingredient in much of life today.
Sorry about the sleeping. That is rough. I hate those nights, but they do occur, & sadly, too often. I hope you had a good rest of your day and a great weekend ahead.
The vacation stuff doesn’t bother me so much because most people have alarm systems and/or friends keeping an eye on their property.
And I definitely am not interested in the minutia of anyone’s day. What makes anyone think that we would be?
I got a good night’s sleep last night, so I feel much better today.
Thanks for educating me on what “Stories” is. I have seen them but never clicked.
You’re welcome, Kay.
The four most important words in any language: Hello, good bye, please and thank you, in an audible voice full of respect. I, ich, je, io are not listed. :-) Have a nice Sunday. Regula
Absolutely, Regula. Thank you!