Yesterday, I was putting on my shoes to go outside and retrieve the mail when I saw this:
I ran for my camera. This little one was so sleepy that I was able to step outside and take photographs without disturbing him.
When I purposely made a little noise, I got this:
I remained there for quite a while and then I quietly went back inside. Let him sleep. The mail could come later (it was only a bill anyway.)
Sweet little goldfinch. It’s sort of puffed up. I often see the mourning doves like that, especially when they’re resting.
I’m hanging in there. Thank you for your support. It was an awful day yesterday. Simply awful. But I feel stronger today and I’m slowly putting things in perspective. It’s a lesson I’d rather not have to learn, but learn it I have. It’s not as dire as “Don’t trust anybody” – I’d hate to go through life that way. It’s not my nature.
But “Be wary!” works for me.
I am really, really good at what I do. This I know. This I’ve heard from hundreds and hundreds of people throughout my career. Not only do I have the mastery of my skills, I am compassionate and kind. There’s no better combination. And if this sounds like I’m tooting my horn, I’m not. I’m just calling it as it is. So I’m damned if I’m going to let this crap affect my confidence or my absolute knowledge that I am an excellent coach. As Don, who has been coached by me several times in the past, says, “It’s their loss.” And I can guarantee they’ll feel that loss.
They’re not bad guys. Not at all. They behaved badly.
I’ve definitely learned that I’m expendable. But let’s put this in perspective; I know this has happened to many, many people in all sorts of professions. I’m not special.
Yes, it hurt me deeply. But I am strong.
It’s 63 today – 30 degrees less than it was a couple of days ago. My head is spinning. I did mow yesterday and that helped. I used it to sweat out all my anger. To curse out loud because no one could hear me over the sound of the lawnmower. To concoct emails in my head in which I told them off. That kind of thing. And the good thing is that I got all of that out and now I’m not going to communicate with them at all. That would just be to make me feel better. To teach a lesson. I used to feel the need to do that when I was younger. However, the older I get, the less I am inclined to do that because it’s all about ego. It’s all about feeding my ego when I’m feeling fragile or wronged.
And the lawn looks great, which is a bonus. I also did a bunch of other chores. And then, having not slept a whole lot the night before, I collapsed. We watched Die Hard last night, which I haven’t seen in many years, and it was the perfect antidote to my sorrow. You can’t help but be completely engrossed and it’s such a good film!
Today I might mow again or I might just read. And heal.
Thank you, my friends. Your support meant everything to me yesterday. Bless you.
Happy Sunday.
