We just had the nicest day yesterday. Did we go anywhere? No. Did we give each other a gift? No. We just spent time together on a perfectly sunny day. We talked a lot, we cuddled, we repeatedly said how much we love each other.
Frankly, that’s all I need.
The kitchen yesterday. This photo, however, doesn’t really show how gloriously sunny it was. But it will have to do. I quickly took the photo while Don and I were sitting on the living room sofa. (Excuse the little bag of trash on the counter! Real life.)
This book is extraordinary. It’s nonfiction, which is always slower going for me, but, oh my, is it worth it. I never quote blurbs, but I will with this one, simply because I couldn’t write anything better:
In Underland, Robert Macfarlane delivers an epic exploration of the Earth’s underworlds as they exist in myth, literature, memory, and the land itself. Traveling through the dizzying expanse of geological time – from prehistoric art in Norwegian sea caves, to the blue depths of the Greenland ice cap, to a deep-sunk “hiding place” where nuclear waste will be stored for 100,000 years to come – Underland takes on an extraordinary journey into our relationship with darkness, burial, and what lies beneath the surface of both heart and mind.
I hear a Carolina wren as I’m writing this. I’m wondering if the birds think Spring is coming soon? Ive certainly got spring fever, but the reality is we might get some snow next week and the unseasonably warm temperatures are going to plunge for a couple of days. (Thanks, Mother Nature. With all this warmth, I’m ready for Spring!)
We have to get out there and clean out the trailer bird house to get it prepped in case they want to nest there. Right now, I can see a wren on the branches of the big maple tree that is right next to the porch. And now he/she is on the porch. And back to the tree.
Okay, my friends.
Stay safe.
You hear the Wren! Hooray (I think…. with this weather, who knows?) I have daff bulbs popping and as you know it’s too early… very worrisome but what can you do?
Your kitchen looks lovely — welcoming, inviting, sunny and happy. And it sounds like your yesterday was lovely indeed. Rather perfect!
I haven’t checked on my daffodils. Oh boy. I hope they’re not coming up too soon.
Stay safe, Jeanie.
I love seeing the pictures of your cottage! Your dining table reminds me of mine… it’s my parents first table that I had painted a cream color…that table has been well used!
We’re supposed to get some warmer weather… yesterday we had a burst of rain and hail…lasted about a minute. Enjoy the wrens!
Thanks so much, Barrie.
Stay safe.
glad that you and don had a nice day yesterday and each other and your home every day! :)
as a single person, i remind myself that valentine’s day is just one day, that what matters most is how we treat those we love (and that needs to include ourselves) and how others treat us every day … not just on a holiday (i know you know that). :)
that view and those colors have to be so calming, comfy and cheering for you two! those things come through clearly in the photo.
same here with the weather and creatures. two days ago, i saw lots of people in shorts and t-shirts out running (happy for them, but no longer getting to run remains hard for me). yesterday, i saw a coyote trotting across the street i live on, about a block from my place and surely heading to a lovely wooded park and trails, and (elsewhere) a bobcat. now it is windy and temperatures have dropped. tonight snow is to begin and fall for twelve hours; we are to get anywhere from three to nine inches of snow. food has been set out for the birds and earl the squirrel and i will get a few more groceries, just in case we get the nine inches of snow. i, too, wonder and worry about birds and other creatures, people being confused or put in a hard way by such weather swings that are weeks and weeks ahead of “normal”.
glad you are enjoying another good book. i always appreciate learning of books, movies, etc. from you all here, things i hope to enjoy soon enough.
hope you, don and everyone else have a good day.
stay safe.
kathy
I was single into my forties and I said the same thing then that I say now – it’s a Hallmark holiday. And I don’t tend to take Hallmark holidays too seriously!
Stay safe, Kathy!
Lol I have loved Hallmark all my life…it truly is not a Holiday invented by Hallmark. My gift from my husband on my 40th was a Hallmark Store…too much work…glad you enjoyed your day…
I obviously didn’t mean that literally, Brenda. It’s a term for holidays, like Valentines Day that sell cards, and candy, flowers. I didn’t invent the term. It’s to the benefit of many companies to advertise their services for those holidays. They become commercialized. Never said that Hallmark invented Valentines Day.
I could name a host of them, and not all of them are holidays, many are ‘days’ like ‘Secretaries Day’, etc.
BTW, you had Zoe dressed adorably yesterday; I loved the red and Valentines.
I spotted my first blue-lupine wildflowers on a vacant hillside lot in town a couple of days ago. These small finds are thrilling to me; it seems ‘way early for the flowers already in Southern Calif. In fact, we’re in freeze watches/warnings this week.
Also, in the afternoon late of a nearby town’s botanical gardens on Monday (my husband and I do a lot of ‘free stuff’ in our locale and I’m so grateful there are these areas for the general public), the tiniest birds in small clumps of native plants. I wish I knew the species of the birdies. I’ve read they could be a Pacific Wren, a Coastal Cactus Wren or a Rock Wren (or even a Canyon Wren). I think I’m going to start carrying a pocketsize field guide in the car so that I can identify them!
Can I throw in a total aside/’nuther subject, since it’s just all of us girls here?
I am worried about a friend. She is a 40-year-plus divorcee who has sworn off men all this time. She has never dated a guy again since 1994 by firm choice. Says that all these men did for her was to ruin her life. (I have known her since age 19. Always a vivacious, intelligent, attractive blonde gal; well-rounded; interesting; positive otherwise, usually smiling and a bright-side kind of person. But infinitely naive.)
Out of nowhere, a former guy co-worker has appeared since January; found her somehow (she’s not even on social media) and asked if they could meet up; they once casually dated in the 80s. He’s younger at age 63, doesn’t work, says he is retired, rents a room in somebody’s house; I thought he only owned a bike but he does apparently own a car.
Alternatively, she is age 72 to his 63, has a calm and orderly life (almost rigidly orderly) with no financial worries whatsoever for the remainder of her days; owns a nice, good-sized house outright/paid up in a desirable part of the city (with nice stuff in the home, too). Now, this guy appears out of thin air, infiltrating her life, and she is suddenly (obsessively) head over heels in love after only a few dates. Again, she has never gone looking for love in almost thirty years. Was SO off her radar. Clearly, feelings/emotions once dormant have been awakened.
It’s not just me, but she has mentioned two other friends of hers who are both telling her to slow things down (immediately!). This is not a normal circumstance for her. It’s already taken over ‘everything’ with her, hook-line-and-sinker. We’re all afraid this unknown dude has come looking for a nurse with a purse. My red flags are flying high; I’m worried.
My husband says to butt out of her business, to quit being the clucking hen, yet she makes it my business by telling me the details. She and I have no limits on conversation and revelations/confessions; we’ve always talked about anything/everything; no secrets after knowing each other for fifty years. I simply do NOT know what to do or how to advise her. I’m just taking it in, week by week; listening; trying to choose my responses carefully. For two dates, hours-long time spent with this guy, she never once even asked if he’d ever been married or had adult children; come to find, at age 63 he has never been married and has no kids, or so he says. (She hadn’t wanted to pry until Date #3 and he wasn’t forthcoming with any tidbits about his personal life. Just talked a lot about his sports; he’s very athletic; bikes and swims and dives and sails, hikes and I don’t know what else; when my friend really is NOT athletic or outdoors-y and has gained a ton of weight.)
I should mention that my friend has never once, other than her husband who was the high school sweetheart, made a wise choice in a man. Her track record in the ‘romance’ department is a disaster although it was all such a long time ago now. I’m losing sleep over this; again, I am worried for her. I just want her to be happy and safe. But we really know nothing about this guy; she can’t go on hazy memory of a long-ago work relationship (mostly work) as ‘familiarity’ (from when we were in our early 30s for Pete’s sake). I just think in this day and age, we have to be a bit wary, unfortunately; or else I’ve just watched too much TV news.
Thanks for letting me share. Another mutual friend of ours did not mince words the way I have; that particular gal is actually married to a lawyer and cautioned our lovestruck senior-aged friend that she could be getting ‘set up’. I’ve definitely heard of such things; frankly, I have it in my own family with my deceased cousin’s widower husband who has since taken advantage of older and even younger, unattached women. (He likes their money, such as the widows who got big life insurance disbursements after their husbands passed, as he is a compulsive gambler and an alcoholic, always needing money to fund those addictions. It’s all so sordid/unsavory. I loved my cousin to the moon and back but she was another woman who could never seem to make a wise choice in the ‘man department’; she died at age 62 and had already been married six times, and I couldn’t stand that last husband for obvious reasons yet she was blind to his faults; TMI; sorry!)
My gosh, though, have some of us become THIS jaded/cynical, to be inclined to put on the skids before a new, sudden-unusual romantic relationship like my senior-aged friend’s can even bloom? Of course I was thinking about all of this yesterday, Valentine’s Day. There are old(er) people out there who are lonely and looking for companionship; I just didn’t think one of those people was my friend. She has an impressive social circle; lots and lots of friends; good support systems; good neighbors; is close to her siblings and their descendants; her life has seemed full; on the go-go-go all the time; goes to brunch and musicals and plays; she’s not a hermit like me. As the lawyer’s wife said to her, “Don’t you get it? You’re a CATCH!”
Sigh. My own life is pretty complicated right now; I probably need to make things easier on myself by indeed minding my own business than that of my friend’s. But I’m saying a few prayers over her new ‘situation’; for sure. It just all came up so fast and seems odd.
I think you can say whatever you want to her. By sharing every bit of this relationship with you, she has given you the right to have your say. Obviously, she knows you care about her. My warning bells are ringing about this. Why is he renting a room in someone’s house? Really? I think she needs to know a hell of a lot more about him. Maybe I read too many mysteries, but I’d have someone (Private investigator?) on him.
Stay safe, Vicki.
PS. Your husband is a guy. Guys don’t generally share their thoughts on something like this. But women DO.
Good observation about how women share and that men are different about it. There’s this scene in one of the old Sex and The City episodes (HBO series) where the main character, Carrie Bradshaw, is trying to get at the bottom of how much her ‘ex’ sank when they broke up; a mutual guy friend with whom she was speaking about it said, ‘Yeah, well, he lost his ability to open up and trust women.’ So Carrie says, “Did he really tell you that?” And this other guy said, “Nah, guys don’t talk like that; all we did was sit and eat wings. It was the next girl he dated after you who said it, not him.”
Do you think in order to support retirement life at age 60, like few of us could ever do without working for pay, this unknown dude who’s new in my friend’s life makes shortcuts … like making a conscious choice to rent space in someone else’s house rather than paying high rent here in expensive SoCalif for his own apartment, which then gives him more money to play with, like for his sports equipment and sports indulgences like renting a sailboat for an afternoon out on the water? I wondered about it. The choices. Everyone’s entitled to their choices I guess. His paying job for years was a sales-oriented, commission-only one (such occupations can know some lean times!), so my friend said that HE said he never felt he made enough income to support a wife and family (huh?). The question I’d like answered is: What prompted him to seek out my friend again? Find her, after so long. He had to make a concerted effort to do it. Had he always carried a torch and she had no way of knowing?
Thanks for weighing in; glad you can understand my red flag(s). I know when she starts sharing this new ‘thing’ in her life with others, that probably more and more people who know her may feel similarly. Similarly on guard for her. I mean, you want to be happy for someone, of course. Don’t want to be a joy-killer! But I’m all itchy with this; it doesn’t feel right. And, good suggestion; she could afford a PI, if she’d just do it before it all goes much further, especially if he remains too shut down about telling her much of his life other than sports. Of course not everyone’s life is an open book.
One more thing about your posts yesterday and today, Claudia; my husband and I don’t exchange gifts or cards either (on Valentine’s Day). My parents always exchanged mushy cards for all sixty years of their marriage. My husband took me for that nice drive on Monday; he knows I love that sort of thing. I left him a note yesterday telling him that I appreciated all the things he does for me, but we tell each other these things every day. We have days where we’re grumpy and at crossed swords with each other, but we still always, both of us, find something to say that’s appreciative and complimentary of the other, and I think it’s a lot about caring and respect. At the age I am now, I don’t need candy and flowers on Valentine’s Day. However, when I was younger, I can remember having to have long talks with myself about not feeling left out when I was single.
These ‘holidays’ can really wreak havoc on a person’s soul. For instance, it took me awhile at Christmas to indeed get that “Hallmark card” image out of my head, that I was nothing without fifteen people at the table, snow on the ground outside, sleigh bells ringing, clinking glasses at the fireplace with so much fellowship, frivolity and festiveness. Some people have it; it’s great; I’m glad for them. They get the Kodak moments. (Wow, saying ‘Kodak’ really dates me!)
But some of us who don’t and lead quieter lives with less family and even friends have our own special times and place and moments and memories; we are not ‘less than’ just because we don’t have this commercial aspect of any holiday. I get increasingly resentful of the hype; companies are just trying to sell product at our pocketbook (and emotional) expense; it’s manipulative. I have no real issue with Hallmark per se; I’m just using it as a descriptive; actually, I love some of their Christmas ornaments and they do have some clever greeting cards for those of us who still occasionally send/give out a paper card.
(That said, we received an e-card from a cousin yesterday, with animation and motion and sound, and it was just delightful! One of the Jacquie Lawson cards.)
xoxo
hej, vicki.
first, i hope whatever is complicating your life right now smooths out and simplifies for you!
i have the same bad feeling as you and claudia about your friend’s new dating situation … specifically the guy. as i read what you wrote, i kept thinking, “ugh … he wants to play and have someone pay for his fun”. and why, at age 63, is he renting just a room (where are his clothes? car? other possessions and evidence of a life being lived?) what’s been his source of income? if i was the friend you’re rightfully concerned about, i’d sure want to know those things, among other stuff. like how did he locate her? is he working somewhere?
i like claudia’s idea of having someone check that guy out, like a professional investigater. also, group dates with friends who could be more eyes and ears to see and hear things that this new infatuation might not let her see and hear. people (that she trusts, obviously) who would ask questions of him that your friend might not feel up to …
i hope your friend will protect herself and her money, etc. and am glad she has you on her side.
will be praying for her, you and everyone else.
kathy
I didn’t mean to be mysterious about a complicated life; it’s just that my husband has been facing a serious surgery for awhile, this ‘team’ of doctors keeps changing what they want to do; it’s been going on for months in which case my husband’s symptoms just keep getting worse. There will be two surgeons working on my husband; one hands off to another during a multi-hours-long procedure under deep anesthesia; it’s essentially an abdominal surgery, invasive; I’m pretty much getting more scared about it by the moment. The bottom line is that they’re trying to prevent him from developing cancer. I will not be allowed to spend the three nights at the hospital with him due to Covid/RSV/etc. restrictions. (When he had a hernia operation a few years ago, I sat by his bed all night in a chair and didn’t go home til the next morning.) The hospital is in a town with which I have little familiarity, I can’t drive at night anyway with my eyes; I think we’re both just feeling increasingly vulnerable. We can’t seem to make a decision about the big rescue dog during any of this (let’s face it, he’s still difficult); he can’t be left alone as he suffers from panic/anxiety which apparently we’ll never be able to cure, but I can’t really ‘handle’ him without my husband as the dog is just too large and strong for me, so it’s looking like we’ll have to board him which will be really, really hard on the dog. We’re not in a position where a housesitter or dogsitter would work out and the dog isn’t well socialized for as much as we get him out every day. Anyway, just, you know, STUFF going on here; we all have it; wrinkles in the road. Every time we get a surgery date on my husband, it’s cancelled due to need-priority, as in understandably an immediately life-threatened person gets his spot and then we have to reschedule; the one surgeon explained yesterday that the hospital schedule is tight, the bed capacity is tight, the doctors’ surgery schedule is tight; ugh, we just want it over with because then my husband has two successive months of liquid/pureed diet and it will be a huge challenge for him, blender meals and baby food. His surgery is to correct an esophagal-stomach damage which is causing him a host of problems.
About my friend, your idea of some group dating is a really-good idea. I personally don’t get out, but she and I have another mutual friend who does, and that woman and her husband could ask out our lovestruck friend and this new guy in her life to do a double date, like on the pretense too of meeting him. I’m going to call her; I happen to know she’s finding out about this guy tomorrow night when my lovestruck friend and this other woman and her husband meet for a dinner date/birthday get-together. I’ll let that happen and then see what kind of impression this other gal gets. She’s another one we’ve all known for almost fifty years and, coincidentally, she’s also my lovestruck friend’s Trustee such that she SHOULD know what’s going on; this is all out of caring for our lovestruck friend, not about being nosy or gossipy behind the scenes.
What you said in your comment: “He wants to play and have someone pay for his fun” and why, at age 63, is he renting just a room (where are his clothes? car? other possessions and evidence of a life being lived?).” Precisely. My thoughts exactly. This isn’t some 23-year-old fresh out of college with zero possessions. By age 63, we’ve got some physical baggage. Wouldn’t you think he’d at least have a sofa? Maybe his stuff is in some kind of offsite storage. Of course he’s not saying and my friend isn’t asking. Not yet anyway.
Okay, I’ll put all this aside for now; this is more than enough for Claudia’s blog; and I appreciate you-kathy and Claudia and Elaine giving me something to chew on. I know I’ve overshared and appreciate everyone’s thoughts!
hej, vicki. :)
i am sorry that you and your husband have that surgery and relayed matters to deal with … that’s a lot. i hope that all gets handled soon, that you find some good stress-relievers and peace of mind. i will keep praying for you all.
glad if the other friend/trustee can be aware and can go on some double dates with the friend and new ‘beau’.
not my blog, of course, but i don’t think you overshared. we all need to get stuff out and know we’re not alone. and i know you have a good heart, don’t want your friend to get hurt in any way.
take good care of yourself!
kathy
kathy, thank you; and thank you for your prayers …
Vicki….I am really sorry to hear about your husband and his upcoming surgery and recovery coming up. I will keep him in my thoughts. I’ll keep you there too. Wishing you both the best. ;)
Thanks, Donnamae; it’s so kind of you to say; I appreciate your good thoughts.
Thinking of you and knowing this will all work out for the best.
xoxo
Thank you, Claudia. Thanks for letting me do a lot of spilling with this post; I know I got ‘way off topic. But your community is the best here; helps me many, many times, and you’re our ‘leader’! The BEST blog ever. You have great perspective and interests to share; keeps us all on our toes.
I love this community. It’s the best part of writing this blog.
Stay safe.
I love lupines.
Wrens are charming birds. They seem to have a lot of personality.
Stay safe, Vicki.
When the sunshine pours into your kitchen like that, it really highlights those pretty reds, greens, and that darling aqua teapot. Just lovely.
Our cranes are back…haven’t seen them, only heard them. Just in time for our latest snow starting tomorrow. I hope it melts quickly….I’ve had enough.
Underland sounds interesting as do some of his other books….might just have to add those to my TBR pile. Oh dear. Enjoy your day! ;)
Yay for the cranes, Donnamae.
Ironically, after saying that we need snow, this warm and dry spell has given me spring fever, and now, I don’t want snow.
Stay safe.
Lol! We’re just seeing grass…and the snow is coming tomorrow. Poor cranes…they didn’t watch the forecast! ;)
I know.
Your kitchen is just so inviting in the sunshine and so pretty. With the lovely weather we’ve been having, I don’t mind if it doesn’t snow. Mother Nature may be all mixed up but we know what we want. Spring!
Vicki, your mutual friend’s husband (the lawyer) needs to talk to your friend about a pre-nup if they decide to marry. That just might be a deal breaker for her new guy. I agree, Claudia, he seems to have money but why is he renting a room? Hugs, Elaine
Elaine, thanks for your advice. Thing is, I’m not so sure he has money. I think there is A LOT more to be found out about this guy. But I almost feel like my friend doesn’t want to know; her head is in a cloud of feelings she hasn’t felt in a long time; it’s literally ‘clouding’ her good sense as if she doesn’t want to stop or lose the feelings because it’s making her feel so wonderful.
I think it’s weird that a 63-year-old guy rents a room. Surely he could afford a mobile home in a nice mobile-home park or something; you can get the older coaches pretty affordably. I had thought this guy might be a ‘victim’ of gray divorce where maybe after he and his wife split assets and paid off debts, maybe he had nothing left and renting a room is what he can afford now, but then come to find he was never married. I rented a room for a couple of months from someone when I was changing jobs between cities and could NOT find a place to live; couldn’t find an apartment for myself, just no vacancies, nothing to let. (There’s nothing wrong with renting a room in someone else’s home. They did it all the time in The Great Depression of the U.S. [1929-39]. Homeowners took in boarders; boarders needed a place to live.) But it was always supposed to be temporary for me back in the 1980s and, at the time, the person from whom I was renting needed the rental income, so it was a win-win for both of us. It was like 34 years ago before I was married and I was also trying to reduce expenses.
I feel bewildered!
Surely, I’m feeling spring in the air. However, I’m alsways prepared for more winter days. It’s still February and even March has two faces in Switzerland. I wouldn’t mind snow in the mountains as we are going skiing with the students next week. But here in the flat lands I am done with winter that luckily hasn’t been too harsh for once.
I wish you luck with the wrens in your bird house.
Regula
Thank you so much, Regula!
Stay safe.