Don — Page 115

Loving and Being Loved

December 22, 2016 at 9:28 am by Claudia

This photo travels with me wherever I go.

We’re heading into our first Christmas without our dear girl. The past few years have been full of ‘firsts.’ First Christmas without Don’s dad. First Christmas without Riley. First Christmas without Mom. First Christmas without Dad. First Christmas without Scout.

This loss, this forever change, is something we all wrestle with and I’m certainly not special in that regard. Coming to terms with the absence of loved ones is a daily struggle, but it is made even more poignant during the holiday season.

Which brings me to what we expect or hope or wish was ours on Christmas Day. There can be so much pressure for a picture-perfect Christmas. That’s not helped by the media, by Pinterest, by Instagram. I let go of that sort of pressure long ago. I wrote a post five years ago on this blog about Christmas and the expectations surrounding it: There is No Perfect Christmas. I just reread it and it still holds true.

There is no perfect Christmas, but there is wonder and gratitude and love. Love never dies. As we acknowledge our losses, we also affirm our love for those we’ve lost which is never-ending. We are grateful for their presence in this physical plane of existence and, when they have left us, for their spiritual presence which is never-ending.

And, if I allow myself to stop and breathe and think about my loved ones, I am filled with wonder. And isn’t that what the season is truly about?

That doesn’t make the sense of loss any less, but it does make me grateful for the chance I’ve been given to love and be loved.

Heading home for the holidays tomorrow.

Happy Thursday.

Snow. A Lot of It.

December 17, 2016 at 9:35 am by Claudia

Taken around 7:30 am this morning. It’s still coming down.

Well, I have been taken by surprise. Don informed me last night that snow was on the way. For some reason I hadn’t checked the weather for Saturday. I was more concerned about Sunday, the day I travel to Hartford. I could kick myself because there is some shopping that needs to be done and I could have done it yesterday.

Yesterday was a day that saw me lose it – finally – over the whole election and a feeling of hopelessness came over me that I couldn’t shake. I won’t go into it here except to say what I’ve just said. It hit Don, as well.

Today I have to pack and do some last minute work on some foreign language sections of the text of The Comedy of Errors. I had planned to grocery shop, but depending on when this now-going-on-6-inches of snow ends and on how long it takes us to dig out, I may end up doing that on my way to Hartford.

I took these photos when I went out in my flannel pajamas (and a coat and boots, of course) to see if the New York Times had been delivered. I’m not at all surprised that it wasn’t there – the roads hadn’t been plowed. Don came out to join me and take some pictures of his own.

We’re both getting sad that I’m leaving. We really do love being together. We like our life here in the cottage, our routines, the comfort that this place provides. But we also know we need to shake it up a bit and, as always, once I get to Hartford and get settled, I’ll adjust. And so will Don.

We’ll have to deal with this again in the spring. This time, not only will I be working at the theater again, Don will be journeying out to the LaJolla Playhouse in LaJolla, California (just up the road from San Diego) at the same time to work on a new musical. It features the music of Jimmy Buffett and it’s called Escape to Margaritaville. He auditioned last week, had a callback the next day, then another callback on this past Monday so that Jimmy Buffett could see and hear him. He thought he most likely wouldn’t be cast as they’d also auditioned actors in Los Angeles, but he got the job! It will be a lot of fun for him. And bonus for me – his run extends well beyond my time in Hartford, so I’ll be able to fly out and visit him. Huzzah!

Dear friends, tomorrow will be too crazy for me to post. So I will take the day off from posting and be back again on Monday morning. Okay?

Happy Saturday.

Fog, Dogs & Gratitude

November 30, 2016 at 9:03 am by Claudia

11-30-foggymorning

Another foggy morning here in my neck of the woods.

I love foggy mornings. There’s something mysterious about them. Something other-worldly. And then I hear Fred Astaire singing “A foggy day in London town…”

It’s very cozy around here this morning. We’re watching the fog shift and change, drinking our coffee and feeling grateful. Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop and utter thanks for what I have. It’s tempting to compare my life with others, and though I am much better about that than I used to be, comparison still creeps in there from time to time.

The sheer and utter truth is that I am blessed: a husband who loves me and who I love in return, a cozy little cottage that provides a roof over our heads, bills that are paid for the month, heat coming from the oil burner, food in the pantry, a family I adore and a sister who is simply the best sister ever, a little nephew who sounded so cheery and so happy last night that gratitude for his recovery from the seizure that happened just a week ago filled me up from head to toe, friends and colleagues who challenge and support me, work in my chosen field – I’ll stop there, but goodness, there’s so much more.

11-30-eveningskywithbirds

I took this picture the other day and today, as I was editing it, I realized there are birds flying by that big, fluffy cloud. I love surprises like that.

I don’t think I’ve ever shared the next picture with you. I took it before I started blogging – somewhere between 2006 and 2008. It was for the cover of Don’s first CD (no longer available) called “Dogs in the House.”

11-30-dogsinthehouse

Don keeps it in a frame on his desk.

We had to do some maneuvering to get this photo. We opened the window and took out the screen and then Don had to hold out some treats to get the dogs to come to the edge of the opening. Over and over again until we got this shot.

Of course, we rewarded their patience with our shenanigans with lots of treats.

Oh, those sweet faces. How I miss them.

Another rainy day ahead for us and then a bit of a warm-up tomorrow and Friday. On Friday, we’re going to go on a tour of the Catskill Animal Sanctuary! I’m so excited. I’ll take lots of pictures, I promise.

Happy Wednesday.

ClaudiaSignature140X93

Loving and Being Loved

Snow. A Lot of It.

Fog, Dogs & Gratitude

Lambs Like to Party

A Note

Archives