Claudia — Page 594

Day Forty

April 22, 2020 at 9:55 am by Claudia

Day Forty. I have now reached the time equivalent of Lent.

I trimmed some of the brambles yesterday, but it started raining earlier than predicted, so my time was cut short. Don had to abort his walk, too. Then it got colder and, yes, windier, and that wind continued throughout the night. It’s better now, but still quite windy and it’s definitely colder out there. Sigh. Given the bizarre temperature changes of April, I’m not sure when I’ll go to the nursery. Maybe tomorrow. But maybe not until Monday.

Currently wrestling with gardening/puzzle back problems. I suppose it being too windy for me to work outside (pollen) is a good thing as it will give my back a rest – except for the call of the jigsaw puzzle, which I cannot ignore.

Both of us slept in today after, once again, falling asleep at 9:30. We just had our second cup of coffee together. Yay for freshly ground Peet’s coffee being delivered to our door! And for our UPS guy who delivered it. And for the USPS who delivers every day. I ordered stamps from them online a couple of weeks ago, and I’ll do it again soon. We need to support them.

I miss Paris. I miss London. I miss, surprisingly, New York City. Seeing photos of the empty streets in all of those places makes me sad. I miss getting in our car and taking a road trip. Or even the simple drive across the Hudson to my favorite bookshop. I miss browsing in antique shops. Though we rarely eat out, I miss having that option. And even though I will have the option of visiting our local nursery, I’ll miss taking my own sweet time looking at everything.

I’ve seen a lot of “count your blessings” kind of messages and memes on Facebook and Instagram. I suppose they are of the “Keep Calm and Carry On” sort, meant to buck us all up during this pandemic. I understand and we need them. Except when that kind of message is used to negate someone’s heartfelt sadness, bewilderment, confusion, etc. It’s okay to miss things. It’s also okay to say it. It’s okay to be frustrated and restless, as Don was this morning when he said he was ready for this to be over and that he missed getting on a bus and going into the city for an audition. Of course we feel these things, and we have the right to vocalize or write about them. Feeling that way doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of counting our blessings at the same time. I think the endless “But you’re so lucky, you get to stay home and read books!” of “Now you can do something creative!” responses are well meaning, but also speak to the responder’s own unease and fear.

Navigating this time is complicated. That’s an understatement. We’ve never done anything like this before. I had a somewhat bad afternoon and evening yesterday and I didn’t hold back from expressing my frustration. I let myself feel sorry for myself; Don held me and let me express my feelings, without judgment. I have perspective this morning, which I knew would be the case. So don’t fret about sharing your fears or frustration here on this blog. It’s okay.

This part of my post grew out of my conversation with my husband during that second cup of coffee this morning. It helped us. I hope it helps you.

Stay safe and stay home.

Happy Wednesday.

Day Thirty-Nine

April 21, 2020 at 9:24 am by Claudia

The day dawned with sunshine all around and now it’s cloudy. Apparently, we’re getting thunderstorms this afternoon. Darn it. I was all set to do some work outside. I did get out yesterday afternoon to clear some more garden beds. I have a long list of things to do out there. I’ll run outside after I post this to try to get some of it done before the rains come.

Then it will be puzzle time.

The flowering quince is in bloom.

And the lilac buds are coming along. Some sun would help! I can see the peony shoots coming out of the ground, as well. And the clematis is leafing out.

Spring – you’ve been very slow this year. You seem to be taking your own sweet time. I can’t wait to smell those lilacs!

I worked a lot on the puzzle yesterday. I started A Gentleman in Moscow. And what a sweet sigh of happiness it brings. It’s such a joy to read Amor Towle’s words again. I’m taking my time, savoring each and every page. Maybe I should just read it over and over until this pandemic is no more?

One of the vintage Penguins I ordered arrived yesterday – it took three weeks to get here from England – as well as a John Prine T-shirt that Don ordered, but both things are currently inside the red bench in the kitchen where all mail sits for 24 hours. It forces us to delay gratification. Let’s hope it’s character building.

We also had to order coffee directly from Peet’s because it was inevitably out of stock on our grocery orders and we couldn’t risk running out. That arrived via UPS late in the afternoon. We had to wipe it down, of course, and then wash and rewash our hands. I know it’s the new normal and most days, I’m fine with it. Yesterday was not one of those days.

Once again, we fell asleep while watching Cheers – that makes three nights in a row. Lately, it seems we can’t make it past 9:30 pm!

Stay safe. Stay home.

Happy Tuesday.

Day Thirty-Eight

April 20, 2020 at 9:35 am by Claudia

We’re getting close to 40 days in self-isolation. The mind boggles.

We had a great FaceTime call with Rick and Doug yesterday. It was so good to talk to them. Rick has been baking a lot; it’s one of his favorite things to do. Don wondered, kiddingly, why Rick wasn’t delivering sweets to us while we are in quarantine. About 30 minutes after the call, Don’s phone rang and Rick said he was going to drop off a piece of cake. They left it on the funky patio in a piece of Tupperware. Don stood in the doorway and he and Rick actually got to see each other in person. About ten minutes later, the phone rang again. They were going to drop off two masks (they had several) for us. This time, I stood in the doorway and thanked him. I can’t tell you, first of all, how sweet it was of them, but secondly and most importantly, how lovely it was to see them in the flesh – if only briefly. Looking forward to the time when we can actually hug each other.

I worked rather obsessively on the puzzle, of course – at the end of the day my back hurt from bending over the table so much. This is a puzzle that doesn’t have large blocks of one color; since it consists of book covers – and a lot of them – the colors change all of the time. So I started with the top edge of the puzzle and also the bottom edge. I have all of the corners in place. The design has a few larger versions of the book jackets/covers and I’m trying to piece them together to help anchor the whole thing. I also sorted through all the pieces and put all the pieces with text in one bowl, and all the pieces with faces in another.

The top edge.

The bottom edge – not quite together yet.

By the way, Rick has been to our local nursery and says it’s not at all crowded. So I’m going to go mid-week, I think.

I stopped reading Modern Nature mostly because it’s too hard to deal with. While he writes about his garden, he also writes about growing up as a young gay boy in the boarding school era in England, when boys were punished for exhibiting any homosexual behavior, and, of course, it’s depressing. He’s also dealing in the present with his diagnosis of HIV, watching his friends die from AIDS, and becoming more ill over time. It’s a curious combination of beauty and pain and loss, and I think I just can’t go there right now. I lost so many friends to AIDS, good friends, people who were here one day and gone the next. It’s just too hard to read during this pandemic. I’ll keep it on hand, and read a passage every once in a while, but it can’t be my only read. What am I going to read next? I’m going to reread A Gentleman in Moscow, my favorite book of the last several years. It’s beautiful, life-affirming, and in fact, timely, as it deals with a Count who is sentenced by the Bolsheviks to house arrest within the walls of the Hotel Metropol in Moscow. For the rest of his life. I’ve written about this book many times on this blog. I think it’s the perfect read for this moment in time.

We fell asleep again while watching Cheers last night. How exciting we are!

Stay safe. Stay Home. If you go out, wear a mask.

Happy Monday.

Lambs Like to Party

A Note

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